I made a transition, from a vibrant sexual life, to marriage, some ten years ago. It was time, I was going into my 30's, and my, now husband, is a decent man I respect, and love. Our home is filled with love and kindness, our kids are nice and well behaved, we have no financial problems whatsoever, and everything is just fine, as it is.
Now, since I am here, you would say, that there might be some dissatisfaction, and that might be true to some extent, but first, I have visited this and similar place before I even met him, and in general, there is no problem with sex, he is still a very good and generous lover, and frequency of our love making didn't slow down (maybe it did, just a bit, but that is normal).
My confession is, that recently, he asked me about my previous relationship, and I answered that I had a few. He told me than, that he had been with three women before me, and kind of went into detail of their relationships, not the sex part, and I guess he is expecting me to do the same, but I evaded the subject.
Now, he didn't say anything, but I felt he was a bit angry because I kept quiet, and now is even more pushing in that direction, and I am laughing it off with "lady never tells", but he won't stop. And, I am a lady, if you saw me on the street, the way I dress, the way I behave, talk, you would think - that is one fine lady.
The thing is, I am in a dilemma, what should I say to him, that he is my third or forth man, so, to lie, or to tell him the truth? I do not want to keep anything from him, we have a wonderful relationship with mutual trust, but this thing just made a dent in that trust, will he believe me if I lie, and will he think low of me, if I tell him the truth?
The other night, I tried to make some account, and it was a surprise to me as well, for some ten years that I was sexually active, before meeting him, I had sex with 54 different men, and I am not even sure that I haven't forgot some, plus, this number doesn't include pettings and few occasional blow jobs which never went past that.
At the time, it didn't feel as much, when you think of it, it is like, 5 guys per year on average, but added up, makes me look really, really bad, and I am not bad, I was just having fun, and I never cheated on him, and I don't intend to, nor I have the urge to do so.
If I tell him, will this shatter my image of a "lady wife"? What should I think of, first, honesty, or his image of me?
Told this to my therapist, she told me to keep my mouth shut, that such a thing can destroy a marriage, since men are egoistic and vain, so, some help guys, what would you like me to do, if you were in my husband's shoes?
