Last night my wife went out with her cousin and sister for a bridal dinner rehearsal. After the rehearsal they went out to the bar for a couple of drinks. I get a call around 1:45 am to go pick them up because they were to drink to drive. When I arrive I see my wife and her cousin passed out on the bench outside the bar. My sister in law stumbles to the car and opens the back door. I get out and help her put her cousin and sister in the back. She climbs in the front. She asked if I can take her and get some food. My wife and her cousin were totally passed out. My sister in law asked if she can lay down because her head was spinning. I told her to go ahead and lay down so she wouldn't puke in my SUV. After we get the food she says her head on my lap and she asked me to pull over because she felt like she was getting sick. I found an empty parking lot and she climbs out and I see her fall bye the back of my car. I climb out to help her up . When I get to the back she was on her hands​ and knees and I can see her ass as she is trying to puke. After two minutes she said that she can't throw up and that she is feeling better. As I give her my hand to get up, she pulls my shorts down and began to suck my dick as her sister and cousin where passed out. I stood her up and bent her over the back of my car. I moved her g string to the side and began to pound the shit out of her pussy. It was the hottest thing ever, fucking my sister in law while her sister and cousin were passed out drunk.

I need some help people with rewards too if you can help me

I found this real poor slut at a bar and all she has to her name is her IPHONE. she lives with her friends and i was talking to her trying to get her to come to my place free of charge and basically id take care of her food and roof and stuff if she was my sextoy. She was all up for the idea and told me she will think about it.

She told me she wanted to talk and get to know me , talk as in type to me online thru email .
I got her to be willing to cam up with me and be my submissive camwhore . This girl will do anything and shes like 100 pounds so cute. Shes veryvery willling to obey me but only problem is her phone cant download like skype or google hangout.

I need to find a free site or software where she can use her iphone and camup/micup with me for free..
I tried avdemo site and she couldnt use her iphone for that. I need to find somewhere online that allows iphones to stream, does anyone know anywhere to do this?

Reward for you to find a working site for me will be ill let you use her for your own personal enjoyment too as long as you dont interfere with my shit. shes very willing and open and i wanna make her my camwhore first then real life shit.

so when i was 11 yo my neighbours niece and her boy friend came to visit him they where like 42 or something my neighbour wasn't home but they came anyway i don't know why maybe to watch over the house or something and, first they starting sunning he in his swimshort and his wife in bikini and later she took her bikini off and i could see her big tits in a small peeping whole we had ( the houses where seperated with a wooden wall) so after a while my brother shot a football over the fence and he wanted to get it and looked over the wall where it landed and saw that milfs tits and was peeping to . but i only peeped if noone was around because i didn't want them to now that i knew that she had her tits popped out. then my dad asked my brother to get the baall back and he didn't want to because he would run in into the tits lol . so he wanted to get the ball himself but didn't maybe he saw the milf with her tits out maybe not i don't now. then we had dinner and i rushed all the food into my mouth to go back outside so i could watch her tits when i was all alone. but when i came back she was gone . shit! and i wished i had a cellphone back then to film her amazing tits fuck

i saw a vid awhile ago, i seem to remember being waaay too young to have been watching porn at the time. i can't remember what the title was, the vid had these two hot women sitting at a table, talking. one has a meal set in front of her which she's eating and the other just has an empty plate, empty glass, silverware, napkin. at one point the girl who's eating says something. she stands up, moves over to the other side of the table and pisses in the other girls glass. then she takes the plate and shits on it. sets this meal in front of the other girl and she just starts digging in. grabs a fork and knife and eats a slice of the turd like it was any other food, washes it down with a swig of piss and goes back for another bite. meanwhile they keep talking- you'd think they don't even realize what she's eating. i didn't understand what they were saying, they were speaking like german or something, but it sounded conversational, like they might have been talking about the weather or something. they sure as hell didn't sound like they were acknowledging what was going on. anybody got this vid, like anywhere? please??

I decided to post this confession in a place where it will get the most attention anyone might ever give it...

In this new year I promise this world to see a new man, For better or worse depending on your outlook.

in this two and a half decades of my Iife I failed in almost every way. Ive failed to find any women that would except me as I am. The person I strived to be was a rightous and Idealistic man but in modern times I feel Im an obsolete model and I find I can no longer go at it alone. So now in this new year my content will be second to my outward appearance and now the "idea" and role of me has changed. if to be reliable and and have preference to function over form is a thing that has fallen to the way side then the rules of the game dictate I change myself. Im not incapable of doing so, Im a smart, capable man and can do such through one means or another

Ive failed to find a career, Ive studied 3 years paided 110,000 dollars, all to have the job market take a shit, so now I work in the fast food business and believe it or not minimum wage doesnt pay the bills, now i sell drugs and pull a nice profit doing such

In my time on this earth for one reason or another Ive also found my friends to be a great deal of my pain, I live and would die for those I care about but In my gravest time of need I find my "friends" to be in short supply, only to be found when they need something, its not me they want but a service I may provide, and even at a great cost to me I will do it, for my friends, but why should I continue to make myself a slave to these people.

For these reasons and many others I find myself in a place where to continue would be suicide. If this world accepts the things it has forced me to become, the old self I was, the rightous self, is now dead and the the modern version forged under my reasoning and understanding of this world promises it will make those deserving pay for this dark image of my character they have decided to unveil.

To some this is a threat, but it is merely the end result of a persons honest attempt to be better then the animal of which hes born.

I ask only to consider these things then you may forget them as quickly as you load the next page

been out all day cruising looking for a young homeless girl or a VERY old homeless man. and bring them home and use them like the useless peaces of shit they are for a weekend then set them up in a cheap motel with food and nice cloths for a month. but damn there just any out there anywhere to be found. i dont mean any pain or anything like that i just mean degrade them and use everyhole they have when i want it. i did find a younger man guessing in his later 20's today and give him $20 to bend over and take my load. but thats all. i could have brought him home but hes not what i'm looking for. i want a young girl 18 to 25 or a old man 70 or older. or a midget male or female. any race any age as long as they are 18 or older. here is what i want bring them home make them get naked and i give them a bath. and they dont put cloths back on until monday morning when i take them to get new cloths a room for a month and enough food to last them a couple weeks and a little cash. but like i said there are none out there anywhere to be found.

My boyfriend installed a camera in our bathroom trying to catch me or my sister going pee. So, after I discovered it I didn't confront him about it, shame him, or give him a hard time. Nope. I decided to load up on all the WORST food you could imagine that would give my stomach the worst crap a woman has ever made. I barely made it to the bathroom in time and my plan ALMOST didn't work.

I confess that he videoed (while thinking I didn't know) the largest dump I've ever taken. I was on the toilet for a good hour while my bowels evacuated and nearly filled the toilet all the way up to the rim with sludge.

I kept the window closed and even the dog gagged.

I thought I was done but more came out even when I thought I had squeezed out the last of it and my stomach cramped, sides hurt from pushing, and my eyes bulged out and I looked STRAIGHT INTO THE CAMERA he hid between the clean towels.

It wasn't long after that when something went wrong. I stood up thinking it was over but more liquid shit sprayed all over the toilet seat, cover, some on the wall, and the rug in front of the commode.

I just ran away and left it like that because I couldn't get the toilet to flush. AT ALL. I tried SIX times and finally it started to overflow. I went back down to the dinner table with him and his parents and all hell broke loose when water started to pour from the ceiling onto the table. I pretended not to know anything about it and I listened as he ran upstairs and let out a scream.

I hope he got what he wanted on the video. I hope it REALLY turned him on.

...but, it didn't. I'm now single and he kicked me out after he reviewed it. His parents won't talk to me and I think they know.

Friday Night….

On a warm Friday evening back in 2019, around 6p, I get a desperate call from my best friend… “Can you stay at the house this weekend, entertain her, please” he desperately begins the call with? “Her” is his wife… I chime in “yeah man, she’s definitely feeling lonely lately” I say as I push for specifics…

(her and I chat, he and I chat, offering my opinion is very common as this has been the topic of conversation for quite some time)

Ignoring me completely, he continues,

“She keeps busting my balls, calling every 10 mins. She feels isolated, alone, you know how she is!” Again, I chime in, “brother she’s 40, the kids are almost out of the house, she wants you to spend time with her, take her to dinner, do shit”. He wants to respond but has nothing, he knows I’m right. “Brother, you both can afford to go do things, she wants to go places, experience life”.

For the record, and totally off topic. this man’s wife has the greatest pair of big fat tits. For those who think “bigger is better”, this is the one! Furthermore,
she’s thick but tone with dirty blonde hair, about 5’7”. Thinking about it, she has Kitty Lee’s body with a much prettier face.. A very attractive woman with a body built for fucking.

(according to hubby, she has a high sex drive and is very open minded… Cocksucker hit the lotto for sure)

With a long sigh he annoyingly utters what I could see coming from a mile away, “I don’t have time for this, Bobby is about to go on, can you stay at my place and keep her off my back so I can enjoy myself?”

And there it is…..

Honestly, he’s frustrated, I get it. He plans ahead for this weekend long festival well in advance, keeps her in the loop through the entire process, it’s kind of fucked thats she’s laying this guilt trip on him while he’s hours away. I’m torn, he’s been dropping the ball with regard to their marriage for a while now.. Then again, this is his once a year “get fucked up and jam out with thousands of dirty hippies weekend, “I suppose she should honor that.

Regardless…

Reluctantly, I respond with Sure man, I’ll head up there now and hang with her….” (honestly, I just want to hang at home, rub one out and crash, it’s been a long week but fuck it, she’s good people and fun to drink with)

Relieved, he replies “text me when you get up there, I’ll call and let her know, thanks brother” and quickly hangs up.. I set the phone down, take a deep breath, collect my shit and prepare for my hour long trip….

A bit of background on the friendship. Buddy and his wife married young, 18-19, had kids, they’re in their teens. We’ve known each other for about 20 years and they are 4-5 years my senior.

For the last few years we do dinner on Friday evenings at their place, a modest spot in the middle of cow country. We smoke, drink and eat well. I normally stay the night, sometimes sticking around on Saturdays to help with ongoing renovation projects.

We’re all an open book by the way, we know everything about each other. It’s actually very nice, I enjoy their company, as they definitely enjoy mine..

I’m divorced, have a great job and a high school age kid. I also have a very comfortable couch and plenty of food in a decent suburban apartment.
An apartment I will enjoy some other time, my drive is complete..

Teresa (wife) is on the porch, shorts, tank top, drinking a rum and coke. She has her hair in a ponytail, which is new for her. She normally dresses like a Sunday school teacher. Her hair always down, outfits very conservative, “boring” is the best way to put it. She certainly doesn’t show off her figure, her gigantic tits always put away, which is a shame quite frankly..

With a hug and peck on the cheek, I make a sarcastic comment, as I normally do, “sweet handle bar, you’re missing one side”. Teresa gives me a “you’re not funny” smirk” and proceeds to tell me that she’s been “experimenting with new styles”.

I waste no time, “you got it, flaunt it, I know Sam (hubby) would like to see more of you experimenting”. She immediately lets out a laugh, like, a quick chuckle filled with doubt, if that makes sense?

Again, in a serious tone I proclaim, “seriously, switch it up, show him you still got it, let him see other men gawk at you, get that little head going…..” She looks at me defeated and says “he knows what I have, what he has access to. He chooses to ignore me” using her hands to outline her breasts and body, exactly how the Price is Right women would display a new prize.. “I’m lonely, tired of being treated like I don’t exist. Months ago I asked him to sit the festival out” she exclaimed. “I asked if we could go away, focus on us for a minute, that I needed him…” Starting to well up, she rhetorically asks “Where is he” as she walks into the house….

So here I am, barely been there 10 minutes, she’s already crying and I’m on the porch by myself thinking “you couldn’t of talked about something else, you had to immediately bring up her failing marriage, good job jackass”….

She’s a strong woman, emotional and poetic, but tough. It wasn’t long before I hear her calling my name from inside the house. I take a deep breath and head inside. Teresa is in the kitchen, she cleaned herself up and is mixing both of a strong cocktail. Without missing a beat, she hands me my drink, we cheers and take a sip as she immediately picks up from where we left off.

As she starts to speak I take a step forward and gently lean in to give her a warm, comforting hug. I definitely surprised the shit out of her. At first she was stiff as board, cold, surprised at my very forward act. It took a minute before you could feel her body relax…. Not saying a word, we stood there hugging, my arms around her upper shoulders, hers around d my waste. Both of us, a firm yet gentle embrace, you could tell it meant something. It was quite nice if I’m being honest.

(being a dude, I have to point out how great her tits felt pressed against my chest, I finally have visual confirmation, as well as touch, of just how fucking big they are. Her puffy hard nipples, pressed against my chest, perfecto!)

After what felt like 20 minutes, I now have a rock hard dick so I pull away. “You’re a smart, beautiful, sexy woman who deserves happiness” I say, as I try to conceal my very obvious excitement. She looks at me and smiles as I conclude my thought “ponytail and tank top, my new favorite look” as I look down, laser focused on her giant titties that were currently on display, hours and hours of fun, beautiful cleavage, no bra)

Remember when I said “we know everything about each other?” It’s no secret hubby and I both have a thing for huge giant titties, conversations she’s been privy too, normally just giggling and walking away.. Staring down at them was certainly knew, however, she was well aware of my infatuation, in general, for big natural breasts. Yeah, I’ve looked at her, but nothing more than looking, in my head she’s a no-go, off limits..

It’s at that moment, still in our embrace, she says “I have to come clean”. Oh boy” spews out of my mouth as I question her, not with words, but wi5 the look in my eyes….

“I’ve had a crush on you for the last 20 years.” And don’t worry, Sam knows, he thinks it’s funny. “But, I want you to know, I’ve always had a thing for you.” Shocked, I ask “When me and the ex visited you, is this why you treated her poorly? Shaking her head in agreement, Teresa responds “that bitch took you for granted, treated you like shit for years”, you deserved better, fuck her”.

I laugh out loud as I share “she’s my one and only bad lay, dead inside and in the sack, terribly boring with no enthusiasm, a waste……” Teresa chuckles and shares “well, at least Sam has a big dick but I fantasize about other people when he fucks me. The one or two times a month he does fuck me, I keep my eyes closed, I go through the motions to keep my life semi-normal, but I’m not in love with him anymore, too many years have gone by, I’m over it”.

“Teresa, I had no idea it was this bad, I know he can be a dick, but never thought it was on this level, what are you going to do?” Teresa takes a step back, grabs our drinks and confidently shares “Hanna has three years of school left” as she hands me my drink, “once she graduates and goes to college, I’m leaving”. Her eyes start to fill with tears as we both take a big gulp of intoxicatingly strong rum and cokes… She leans over, grabs a tissue and wipes her eyes as we both take a well deserved gulp of mind numbing spirits…

Our drinks polished off, Teresa quickly time for another” as she grabs my glass and heads for the counter…… Unsure of what to say, completely blown away with the last hour of my life, Teresa swings her head around, ponytail in the air, and says “I’m sorry if my confession has made you uncomfortable, that was not my intention, I just needed you to know” as she turned her head forward to focus on drinks.

I don’t know what came over me, but I felt this urge to hold her.. The last hour had quickly turned in an emotional adventure for the two of us. However, she had a minimum of three years of hell to go through, which saddened me. I had lived that life and it miserable, my heart ached for her.

Throwing caution to the wind, I walked over and wrapped my arms around her stomach, careful to stay below her breasts, resting my head on her shoulder. She took a deep breath and reached for my arms. I whispered in her ear, “I’m here for you” as she let out a whimper and sigh of relief.

It wasn’t long before my dick was coming to life.. She was absolutely pressing her ass just enough for my guy to feel it. Moving from side to side, T was knowingly trying to get me hard and I could care less. I whisper in her ear “I know what you’re doing”, as I begin to mirror her movements, moving my dick from side to side, pushing in….

With both a whimper and deep breath Teresa takes her hand and begins to run it along my covered dick.. “Oh yeah” she says as I let out a gentle moan, immediately, and slowly, moving my fingers to the base of her giant breasts. I think to myself, “Finally” as I open my hands and grab the biggest pair of tits I’ve ever felt. Teresa let’s out a soft moan, catching her breath enough to say “please fuck me!”

Im so fucking hard I can’t stand it, as I respond “soon baby, soon” as I move my right hand inside her waistband, her pussy and clit my targets. She moans out again as I take my left hand, already squeezing and pinching her left nipple, I quickly grab her throat, pulling her head to my my face, forcefully, T whimpering away “How bad do do you want my dick in you” I whisper as she runs her tongue along her upper lip..

3 seconds later, and not missing a beat, Teresa, her hand in my pants now, my dick in hand……. Actually, it’s more like, “Teresa the magician, her hands suddenly down my pants, with a king fu grip on my dick, a grip so tight she could tell you how many beats per minute my heart was pumping” she’s rapid fire jerking me, it’s to tip, long strong stokes……

In return, my left hand still gripping her neck and my right hand buried in her pussy, I have two fingers fucking her pussy while rubbing and pressing her clit with her thumb.. T, well, she starts to moan and loudly and shake as she nutted all all over my fingers….

Teresa hadn’t been touched like this for some time, that was evident!

I nibble on her ear lobe, as she catches her breath, still feeling the effects of my fingers…. I whisper, “now you can have my dick”, slide me into your pussy” as I turn her to the right, and bend her over her kitchen table.. With my dick rock hard and still in her hand, I grab her ponytail and make my way for her opening.. With my left hand, now gripping the sexiest tits I’ve ever played with, I turn her head toward mine and say “that’s my pussy” as she loudly grunts out “take your pussy” as she rests my dickhead at the opening of her love canal..

Deep breath, deep breath as I tease Teresa with my dick, ready to push in fully, sliding in, the phone rang.. I pause, caught of guard by the phone, I say “fucking figures” as T slams her ass backwards and takes my dick…. “Yeah it does” she says as I quickly remember what my objective is….Pony-tail pulled back, left hand firmly holding a giant tit, sexy mom/wife panting as her wet pussy is ready to make a mess, I lay into to her, hard, deep, and aggressive, phone ringing off the hook…..

Let’s be honest… This didn’t last long… 5-6 minutes later, as our hearts race, Teresa screams out “you’re going to make me cum” in what I can only describe as a surprised tone.. “You’re pussy s soaked i murmur, ponytail still in hand, her back still arched, her moans and pants, now similar to a countdown. She’s ready to blow boys!! I give her everything I have, table creaking, both of us moaning loudly, Teresa’s pussy tightens…..

That’s all it took! In unison, I thrusted as deep as I could into her tightened pussy, and fucking unloaded as T let me know just how appreciative she was, nearly falling over as she came all over my dick. With her ponytail still in hand, left titty still firmly in my clutch, I bit on her ear and neck as we both appreciated just felt the effects of a fantastic nut……

A few minutes later, both of us, chuckling and giddy, completely spun from what just happened, get a drink of water. As I’m guzzling like a thirsty African baby, T pipes up and says “I haven’t came like that in years” as she stood back and took a sip of water, almost shocked at what happened. I ask if everything is ok and she quickly says “oh yes” as she intentionally spills water out of her mouth and down her huge jugs. “Thirsty” she asks as I quickly do what a man with a huge natural tit fetish does, as I grab both tits, in a loving embrace, pull them to my face, kiss her deeply and begin sucking her nipples………

Oh yeah, the ringing phone? That was Sam, I forgot to let him know I had arrived… No worries, 60 seconds after pumping his wife full of my nut, as I’m sucking her tits, Sam called back.. T answered, out of breath, Sam completely unfazed, he babbled away, praising me up and down to T, as she stroked my dick.

Sam, “so happy” that I “gave up my weekend to help him out”, requested me on the phone.. “Yo brother” I shout as he immediately thanks me then starts a long winded diatribe, excited to share the highlights of the bands, the setting and the great food. T, left to her own devices, grabs my dick, fat tits swinging, full naked body, she leads me by my dick to the couch as she holds up two fingers…. Sam, he’s still raving about his stress free hippy induced weekend, clueless to the fact that as I say ”sounds like so much fun brother” his wife is on her back, legs spread, pussy soaked, guiding my dick back in the very same spot Sam used to call home.. Round 2 has indeed started,,

Sam called back the next day, he and I on the phone for quite awhile. I remember him saying “its much more relaxed now” as he immediately started the process of repeating the same shit he said the night before, which led to him thanking me again for getting his wife off his back… “Yeah man, she seems happy to have company” I blurt out as he asks for me to put her on the phone…

“Oh man, she’s at the market” I say, as Sam chuckles quite loudly, blurting out “yeah she loves spending my money,” as he chuckled on, eventually saying “I’ll call later” as he hung up…. I’d imagine he saw a half naked dirty chick, or dudes eating shrooms, which is why he just hung up.. He was “on to the next one” ass they say…

Speaking of which…

I’m triple checking to make sure the phone is off screaming out “I can’t hold it anymore!” T, mouth soaked with saliva and spit, and clearly not at the market, grabs my nuts and slams her face to the base of my dick, not missing a beat, or drop, as she emptied my sack deep in her throat… Like a bitch, I screamed out as I felt every last drop empty my nuts. By the way, a second orgasm not long after a man’s first orgasm is quite intense, it’s quite nice!

Teresa enjoyed sucking my dick with her husband on the phone. Admittedly, I enjoyed it as well. The threat of getting caught is quite addictive. So much so, we test the limits of our sexual prowess weekly. I fuck my friends wife regularly, right under his nose..

Case in point-

Friday before Christmas, while Sam sits in his recliner, stoned out of his mind, eating cookies zoned out, Teresa and I will go for a night walk. Sam completely unfazed and happy to have the tv to himself, clueless that his wife and over night guest are 20 ft away, watching him watch tv, fucking like school kids. Me squeezing her nipples, smacking that ass, pulling her hair, drilling her pussy! Teresa, holding onto a tree, taking my dick from behind like the good girl she is, her fat little pussy tightening as she cums, while empty my seed deep into her, fully embraced, while hubby watches cartoons or some shit…

Or right now.. He just got in the shower. T, in a flannel, no bra, immediately goes in and grabs a tissue, making sure the coast is clear. Sam, fully engulfed in washing his ass has no idea his wife literally walked out of the bathroom, about 10ft, slide her pants down and sat on his buddies dick. Of course, I’m unbuttoning and pulling the monsters out, as the smell of Irish Spring permeates the air..

Till next time..

I confess that precisely one hour from the time I post this I will commit suicide. I have a plan and have made all necessary arrangements to ensure its successful execution and to ensure that my financial affairs are in order and the information is organized and accessible to my designated executor.

The events that lead to my decision have been several years in the making, and have been recurring relentlessly. I simply can no longer live with things as they are, and am powerless to alter them.

I have tried self-medicating with an assortment of street drugs, including tina and smack, alcohol to the point of routinely completing a fifth of vodka a day, and, of course, a variety of prescription narcotics, such as oxycodone, hydrocodone, oxycontin, fentanyl, demerol, MS Contin and a variety of others. Some were prescribed to me but most I purchased illegally from connections I have or, in the past, the Silk Road.

What has lead me to this point, you ask? It's complicated. I've sought help from a number of professionals, to no avail. They all told me my distress is in my head and not real. I've confided in friends, only to be judged and ridiculed. I got a therapy dog but it ran away and I can't find him. I'm out of options, and no longer have the will or energy to go on, or the motivation to seek further help.

Simply put, I am killing myself because of all the GODDAMNED, MOTHERFUCKING, BULLSHIT, CAPTIONS THAT FUCKING RETARDS ON THIS SITE UPLOAD. THOSE FUCKING COCKSUCKERS TAKE PERFECTLY GOOD PORN AND FUCKING RUIN IT BY TURNING IT INTO INCREDIBLY STUPID RETARD FOOD. THESE FUCKING FAGGOT TURDS THINK THEY ARE FUNNY AND CLEVER, AND COMING UP WITH ORIGINAL AND EROTIC SHIT THAT WILL TURN DUDES ON, BUT THEY AREN'T. THEY ARE ONLY DISPLAYING THEIR OWN FUCKING RETARDEDNESS. FUCK YOU, YOU COCKSUCKING, CAT SHIT-EATING FAGGOTS!

So that's my story. Soon I'll be headless and slumped over my bed in the beautiful Waldorf-Astoria hotel in midtown Manhattan. The maid, Esmerelda, is Mexican, of course, and I confirmed with her that she will be working my floor tomorrow. Poor girl. She's not hot, but she's very fuckable from behind. I would've raped her and gone out in style, but she was very nice to me, and I'm not that much of a dick.

Fuck you all and farewell

I don't know why i bother coming online anymore, it used to be fun talking to different people from all over the world and playing games with them. But now all the chat rooms are filled with fat ugly girls that think they are gods gift to men. What makes matters worse is that most of the guys spend all the time begging to see their nasty ass tits on cam. It's not like the internet doesn't have enough free chat rooms with good looking models on it who are naked. I only come online now to check my emails and jerk off to the models before i go to work.
It has been a long time since i have talked to anyone who made me give a shit about what they are saying. Even on tv the women have nothing interesting to talk about, they just stand around trying to be noticed and pulling pouting faces.

My list of women who piss me off for being useless and yet being rich....
helen flanagan
snookie
tulisa
kim kardashiananana (not even going to google it to see how its spelled)
Ke$ha (why the fuck spell your names with a symbol!!)
When i think about the culture we live in i can see why other nations would dispise us. They are going hungry and also don't have fresh drinking water, where as we are wasting stupid amounts of water and food each day. People are getting crazy fat and then they are spending more money on special foods, tablets and ways to get thin. Um here's a thought.... STOP CRAMMING BACON DOWN YOUR FUCKING NECKS! We are also spending our money on whatever piece of shit a celebrity puts their name on.

Am i the only one who feels this way?

I like smear shit, piss and food messy. I want to play right now. Send me message. 

Nature has given guys an overwhelming urge to cram our wee wees into as many holes as possible as often as we can. We have the desire and the capability to get three chicks pregnant in the time it takes the first one to put her god damn pants back on, let alone spend nine months growing and squeezing out a baby.

So why the fuck is it considered normal behaviour for a guy to marry one chick relatively early in life and spend the rest of his days porking the same hole?

I don�t understand it. It�s like deciding to eat only one food for the rest of your life... I might fucking love duck a l�orange but I sure as shit don�t want to eat it every day...

I don�t want to fuck it either...

P.S. I initially misspelled �duck a l�orange� and wrote �DICK a l�orange� instead. Fuck you.

My Son’s Girlfriend at http://readyourporn.tumblr.com

When my family moved, No one knew the layout of the new house. We’d wander the dark halls those first few weeks, stumbling into the linen closet looking for the bathroom or the guest bedroom for the main. It was easy to get lost.

That’s why this story is complicated.

The house was just an hour north and our old house was still on the market. We moved to get closer to my son’s college, and my wife (his mother) and I agreed it’d be cheaper than paying for a dorm, meal plan, and all the others bloated expenses of an already enormous tuition.

But our son was in love.

With this beautiful curvy brunette, Cecily. An Italian-American. She looked it, but I got real confirmation when she wore these green booty shorts that stretched Italia across her ass. She could touch her nose to her knees when she stretched and was happy to show everyone her flexibility. She was a yoga enthusiast, cheerleader, high jumper, guitarist, and Hooters girl. I didn’t know that last part until I went in with a coworker after a hard day and she served us. She acknowledged me like I was any other customer and I made no mention of it to my coworker, who kept her around as much as possible with refills and innocent flirting. She acted happy to stick around and regular customers, like my buddy, knew the unspoken rule of tipping that was $10 for every hour spent there. He tipped $50. I just did the usual 20%. My receipt got a winky face. His didn’t.

“She must’ve mixed us up,” he concluded.

Sometimes she’d call the house and I’d answer and she’d launch into talking about her day because my son and I sounded pretty similar.

Regardless, she was hot. And I didn’t mind her in the backseat of the car as we drove up to the new house. We had hired movers to get the major stuff like dresser drawers, beds, washing machine, etc, but our personal stuff we decided to take ourselves and that meant extra trips. We’d take Cecily home on our next trip for the final boxes. She was going to the community college in the other town, which broke our son’s heart.

His mother and I also knew that by inviting his girlfriend to the new house, they’d christen the bed with their young love. We were okay with pretending that wasn’t happening.

We got to the new house and ordered Chinese for dinner and ate on the floor because the table had broken during the move and we ordered a new one but it wasn’t here yet. We were all on the floor. Cecily’s legs were spread casually and I could see a bit of frilly panties on the inside of her shorts. Since they’d been dating, my wife and I had reunited our passions. For me, I was teased by Cecily’s outfits and body and even face. She was fun enough to listen to as she had a real passion for music, classics that I’d listened to in high school, so I’d have the occasional conversation with her about it. And I couldn’t act on that. She was 18. But it still got me going so I’d go into the bedroom and enjoy my wife, who was definitely an older version of Cecily. Easily tanned, dark hair, a curvy body that sagged a little with age but still attractive but so familiar that it wasn’t still exciting.

I don’t know why my wife was so into it lately.

Maybe she had an attraction to the girl too, wishful thinking surely, but it seemed like she was in the mood most often after catching the kids making out or even fooling around once. I swear I didn’t peek, but Cecily had our son’s cock in her mouth, and we started doing it to drown out the sucking sound Cecily was making.

It was pretty late and storming.

Then the power went out.

We lit candles and it wasn’t a huge deal as it’d been a long day of packing and moving boxes and it was bedtime anyway so we didn’t need a lot of light.

We wandered the upstairs halls in the dark to find our rooms and we each had to stare at the unfurnished, undecorated rooms to make sure they were the right ones. It was hard to tell in the dark. My wife and I went to our room. Cecily went to the guest room. Our son went to his room. We knew that wouldn’t last.

Well my wife was in the mood. Me too. I checked the end table for condoms before starting and…

They were packed away somewhere.

“Fuck,” I said.

I put on my shirt and had on boxers still and hoped the dark would hide the slobbering boner. I think it did because I passed my son on the way to the bathroom and he didn’t say anything.

I checked the downstairs drawers, the boxes, everywhere I could think I might’ve stashed them. But I’d been gone 10 minutes and I couldn’t wait and we’d just be extra careful about pulling out tonight. It’d be fine.

Back upstairs, I couldn’t remember which was my room. I thought I did but all the doors looked the same and it was either the one on the left or the one on the right and I put my ear to the left and heard the moaning of youthful experimentation and pleasure, extreme pleasure actually, “More! Oh yeah. You’re so good tonight,” and so on.

So I went into the dark room on the right. Just a bed and a silhouette lady ripe for the taking, already spreading her legs, moaning softly.

I pulled her to the edge of the bed. I was on my knees, licking her. She had shaved. Normally my wife was a little hairy and there was something about the smooth vag that was especially nice tonight. I’d always heard that food can change the flavor and my wife had been on a fruit diet lately so that must’ve been why it was delicious and I couldn’t stop myself from partaking. Normally it was just warm up. Lubrication (before the real lube). But tonight I only wanted to feast on this pussy till her fingers gripped my hair and pulled me her way. She made me kiss her. Slipped her tongue in. She grabbed my ass. She lined up my cock then moaned into my mouth as I penetrated that wet, warm pussy. It was so tight tonight. Her body felt so good. I fucked her till the pushed me aside then switched up our positions so she was on all fours, doggy style, usually an anniversary treat for us. I fucked her hard. Her tits swung. I reached around to finger her clit, tease her nipples, she sucked my fingers. Told me to pull her hair. Her ass felt so firm and I teased the anus with my thumb till she begged me to stick it in.

She was really into it tonight. More than I think ever before. Like it was the best lay ever. It was for me. In all our time together, she seemed more wild than ever. Ready to please. Try anything. She collapsed to her belly so her large tits smashed into the covers and she only moaned and begged into the pillows.

I’d definitely made her cum already from the fucking, maybe twice as I got so lost in my own pleasure to completely notice her signs, but I was about to cum. I moaned it into her ear and she breathlessly said “Face. Please. I’m yours. Mark me.”

So kinky tonight.

So I pulled out and she got on her knees by the bed and stroked and sucked me. She never sucked her pussy juices off me! But I guess a great fuck deserves a reward. A kinky fantasy. I was about to cum so I grabbed my cock and aimed for the silhouette.

The lights came on.

Cecily has a black sun tattoo outlining her left nipple.

I didn’t know that till that night.

Her eyes were shut so the cum didn’t get into them. And I was right there, right at the edge, couldn’t stop if my mother had walked in, so I just shot thick ropes of cum across her beautiful young face.

She kept her eyes shut, giggling, sucking at my tip.

I grabbed my clothes and left for the downstairs to let my heart settle. How would the shit hit the fan? It wasn’t my fault! I thought I’d been fucking my wife! It was the new house.

I heard a door and I went upstairs. It was my son coming out of the bathroom. With the lights on we could see each other and it was awkward. I was awkward for obvious reasons. Maybe he was awkward from seeing I was still pitching a tent in my boxers after fucking his hot girlfriend. But he didn’t know that. He wasn’t even really looking my way, so we just passed each other wordlessly.

I went into the bedroom, my bedroom, with my lovely wife on the bed, naked, as up as if still waiting. I got into bed with her, not wanting to let on that I’d already been satiated. I’d have to keep fucking and honestly, I thought I could thanks to the fulfilled fantasy of Cecily.

“Oh you want even more?” she said.

And I ignored her as I was lost in my head, in panic.

She was really into it too, moving her ass towards me so there was a loud smack that jiggled those cheeks every time I pressed deep into her. But slowly she realized I wasn’t on top of the game. “You seemed so eager before,” she said. “Don’t worry. Just let me do it this time,” she said and got on top of me and rode me reverse cowgirl so I could see her ass bouncing and I rubbed my thumb against her anus but she said, “Maybe I’ll let you next time.” It’d felt so nice sticking it in Cecily’s…

My wife never found out. Maybe Cecily and my son did because they broke up shortly after. He broke up with her. It made the trip taking her home even worse.

But to fill his time and loneliness, I guess my son needed someone so he got a lot closer to his mom. She laughed about how much of a sweet mama’s boy he was being suddenly but she took it as flattery that she could replace Cecily.

(hopefully you notice the plot twist)

soo this is the second time my gf and her guardian left the garage door open..and i know she left about 100 dollars in the glove compartment and about twenty in her wallet in her purse...last time they accidentally left the garage door open i caught someone rummaging through there garage sale shit and scared them off...think i should take the money well atleast in the glove compartment i know she knows its still in there too and she knows i know as well...and shes leaving to germany in the next week er so and brought me all the way up from my home four hours away to just leave me an take me back home and go off to germany for schooling and living to fuck some german fucks and forget all about me..but shes done allot of shit for me...board me buy me food and ciggs...but she caught the clap and i was clean and got checked about a wk before i got up here...she says she hasent been with anyone but shes just been annoying me ...but i have allot of feelings for her also after a couple months of dating and almost idk 3 to 4 yrs of knowing of her ..but she constantly talks to guys and shit she says she cares about me but ugh idk what to doo any ideas?

Where has all the intelligence gone? I mean, at some point people gave a shit enough to be independent thinkers.

Instead people are all up in arms over TV, music, and other shit that doesn't require you to think, and instead require the simplest thing a human being can have. A sense of taste. No matter how bad, simply having one qualifies you to enjoy and judge TV and music. The simple fact that "Cult classics" exist means that nothing can ever truly be bad, because shitheads will watch it anyway and it'll get deemed "Special" because a few select people have absolutely atrocious taste.

People piss me off at their lack of intelligence, and their lack of an ability to have an interest in learning. Like ricers and musclefags for example. Two non-interchangeable sort of folk who do the exact same shit. They obsess over their tastes, completely put away any rational thoughts, and hate each other blindly. Little import cars are manuverable. Muscle cars have eons of torque. Neither 'suck', as both are incredible on their own terms, and yet these... primates cant be intelligent enough to console their differences and get the fuck along.

It's why i like to use guns and ammo as examples. As my brother says "A bullet to the brain has the same effect regardless of the person struck". And yet we've got people arguing that the slightest difference in weapons and ammo makes one vastly superior to the other. BLINDLY projecting their versions of the truth, instead of simply admitting any firearm or ammo type is deadly. Durr 1911 is betteer than glock, 9mm is superior to your dum dum .45's. You get shot with either, in the face, and you gon die.

I dont even want people to get along. It's this fiendish disease known as ignorance that kills my faith in humanity. How anyone can blindly ignore whats right in front of their faces is beyond me.

The best possible example i can think of is Russia Today's fans on youtube. You wont find more insanely biased and ignorant folk than them. They're the sort of people that truly believe that the US is one big crumbling tent city, just because the kremlin's mouthpiece tells them so. And that Russia is a prospering country, with no debt, starving, disease or crime, because the kremlin's mouthpiece tells them so. And when you go to point out something that so much as grazes the thin line of their competence, they immediately attack you, calling you a sheep, a slave to the government, a CIA paid troll, or simply denounce what you've said as entirely invalid just because you're american or have a silly video on your youtube page. And any valid point that they cant deflect in that manner, they instantly blame it on the big bad ol United states. Collapse of the soviet union? United states fault. Black market in russia? United state's fault. THE ENTIRE GLOBE'S FUEL, ECONOMY AND FOOD PROBLEMS, the united state's fault.

Nothing can ever be any single person's fault. And as such, you can begin to see how it doesn't matter what side you're on, ignorance is still ignorance. Be it that you're a patriotic republitard that blindly supports whatever the US gets into, or part of the filthy yuppie protesters that believe that everything belongs to them and that the government should just give them jobs, you're still ignorant for even picking a side.

Thank god 2012 is magically going to be the year the world ends apparently, I dont think i want to live in a world where you cant have competence and intelligence, where either side of the coin is a dumbed down, media fed beast of ignorance. Fuck all you people i'm moving underground and stocking up on supplies and ammo. Anyone else remotely interested in surviving the holocaust of the ignoramuses, i humbly advise you do the same.

My name is Mr. Gas. You've probably met me. I'm in Sales/Marketing for a large company. I'd admit that over the years I've become quite bored with my life. One night, I ate something horrific. I got into the elevator and I couldn't even make it back to the hotel room in time and let a HUGE fart rip because whatever I ate certainly didn't agree with my stomach. I looked up and PRAYED that the elevator would go all the way to the 10th floor but, no dice... it stopped on 7 and an elderly couple got on with me. I watched in the reflection of the doors and could tell they were almost gagging. I felt so bad.

Since that situation I've been changing my diet to include foods that will without a doubt give me the worst gas possible.

Here are the places I've let it go and ended up causing a massive panic (in some cases):

1. Shopping Center
2. Mall
3. JC Penney's (they had to clear out an entire department)
4. My car...accidentally, I had to hold my breath because my windows don't roll down and I was stuck in rush hour traffic. I looked over at a couple next to me and turned blue and they couldn't figure out what was wrong but it was SO bad in my car that I almost had to jump out even if we were doing 5mph.
5. Wendy's, people evacuated the building, including employees
6. Carpool, we pulled over and got out for several minutes. I blamed the driver's dog but I think they knew it was me.
7. Starbucks
8. Chipotle, I had loaded up on beans!
9. Office Buildings are PERFECT
10. I once had a "medical emergency" after I took the hugest shit I've ever taken in my life in an office building's public restroom. Shit was all over the place and I couldn't STOP. I must have been quite constipated because it just kept coming, I felt SO ashamed.

...and lastly, an airplane which is my favorite because NO ONE can go ANYWHERE! Last flight, even the Captain apologized to the entire crew and passengers due to the smell which they attributed to an electrical or issue with the plane, we were diverted to another airport and passengers were interviewed by the TSA and FBI.

I just can't stop, I can't help it, I don't want to help it.

I must be going, need to buy new underwear.

Toodles!

To the 'so called' Native American Indian who feels it is perfectly acceptable for Illegal Aliens to Not only be here ILLEGALLY, but (obviously) feels that they should be given the Key to the City, simply b/c they are Still here... What part of ILLEGAL do YOU Not get? Yes, other people came here, many years ago, and once it become a Settled Colony, there became Rules and Laws. There is a REASON why ALL nations have Laws and Rules, and regardless of whether You believe in them in or not, they MUST be followed! If you were to board a plane and go anywhere outside the USA, YOU would be expected to Follow the Laws and Rules of wherever you are. This is the 2013, and the Laws regarding Immigration have been in place, in this Country, for MANY years! BOTH sets of my Grandparents came here, to the USA, and when they boarded the ships that brought them here, they came through Ellis Island...knowing that there may be chance that they would NOT be accepted, and knowing that, they would have LEFT if they had been refused entry to this country. Thankfully, they were accepted, and they the Minute they got here, they LEARNED TO SPEAK ENGLISH! They did NOT expect ANYONE to learn Their language! They Immediately got JOBS...they did NOT expect Anyone to support them (be it in food, rent, etc). They felt that by accepting Assistance, it would be demeaning, and would make them appear weak and unable to get to their "Dream" of being a Self Supporting AMERICAN! You see, here's the difference...These ILLEGALS are NOT interested in being AMERICANS, the way my Grandparents were. For my Grandparents, that was the Ultimate dream come true...to BE an American...NOT an Italian American, or a Canadian American, or a German American...JUST an American! However, with these Illegals, they don't give a flying a Fuck about being an American...they are simply here SUCKING THE TEAT of Americans, and DRAINING us DRY! They have NO American Pride (note All the Mexican flags in their illegal cars, hanging from their mirror). As for them wanting to work...the vast majority of them send their earnings BACK to family members in THEIR own country...(Meaning: they are NOT spending it HERE to keep OUR economy going)! And, as their driving Illegally (no insurance, no registration). WHO do you think picks up the tab when these Illegals have car accidents? WE DO! (be it in the form of OUR insurance rates going up, or in the medical services that are needed that They can't pay for, b/c they are NOT insured). WAKE UP, Chief Foot in your Mouth! The fact that you claim to be a Native American, means nothing...you are supposed to be AMERICAN! And, when some group of people are Destroying America, then ALL Americans' need to band together and PROTECT America! But, maybe your brain just doesn't get that... So, when YOU have to start learning to speak Spanish, I hope you remember this conversation...b/c even then, your status won't mean Shit!

The wife and I went to a party at her friend's house out in the suburbs Saturday night. Nice house with I will admit is a pretty kickass backyard setup with a pool, bar and lounge area with big screen tv, fire pit, etc. Her friend's husband is some sort of IT sales guy or something and clearly pulls in some serious coin. The party was a few of my wife's other friends from growing up and their husbands, but mostly just people from their perfect little suburban neighborhood, which pretty much means a bunch of other moneybag, douche sales guys and their trophy wives as well. Not typically my scene, but hey, I'll drink your booze and eat your food. Her friend's husband is a little older and has an 18 year old daughter from a previous marriage. Her and some of her friends were hanging around the party, swimming in the pool and hanging out in their basement game room. His daughter is pretty freaking hot. From what my wife told me before, this guy's ex-wife (the girls mom) was a college and NFL cheerleader and her daughter clearly got the body from her. Most of the daughter's friends were damn sexy as well, granted in my late 30's almost any 18 year old chick looks hot. And what girls these days pass off as bathing suits, sweet jesus, I could not stop staring. Anyway, I admit I was pretty turned on watching these girls and was definitely sprouting some chub in my shorts. I had a few drinks in me and needed to break the seal and take a piss. I went into their main floor and found that someone was in the bathroom there. So I walked upstairs to find another bathroom as I really needed to piss so didn't want to wait. As soon as I got to the top of the stairs there was a bathroom straight ahead so I went in there and closed the door. Right away I noticed that there was a second door in the bathroom already opened that connected to a bedroom where a light was on and it was clearly the daughter's room. Typical teenager room that was a mess with clothes thrown everywhere & posters on the wall. So I pulled the door shut and started to take a leak. The toilet was positioned under a window that when looking out you looked right down on the back yard and the pool. Looking down at those beautiful young girls and already having a semi-chubby I started stroking my cock a little as I pissed. Then I noticed next to the bathtub was a clothes hamper and sitting right on top was a pair of sexy teen panties. Right then my cock grew to rock hard. I grabbed the panties and held them to my nose, took a deep breath in and could smell the scent of her sweet teen pussy and ass on them. I stroked my cock hard and fast while sniffing those panties and watching her and her friends out the window in the pool. Within seconds I felt my load building up and right when I was about to cum I wrapped her panties around my cock and blew my load inside of them. I admired them one more time and put them back on top of the pile of clothes in the hamper. I was so tempted to push things a little and go snooping around her room, but didn't want to get caught and cause a huge scene. I washed my hands and headed back downstairs. Right as I reached the bottom of the stairs, the daughter was coming in the sliding door with a towel wrapped around her and kind of gave me a "why the fuck are were you upstairs" look. I smiled at her and said, "Hope you don't mind, I think I just used your bathroom since someone was in the one down her." She looked back at me with a disgusted look and said, "Whatever, you better not have taken a shit in there." and she brushed right past me rushing up the stairs. Ha, whatever was right sweetie, I certainly didn't shit in your bathroom! I walked back outside, went over to where our host was at the bar, he offered me up another drink to which I readily accepted and then when he handed it to me he said, "Hope you're enjoying yourself and help yourself to anything, what's mine is yours bro". I think I nearly spit out my drink laughing when he said that. I certainly had enjoyed myself and when we got home, I fucked the shit out of my wife thinking about his daughter's sweet pussy.

I confess that i feel like nobody in my house appreciates me! Im 29 and me, my dad, and his gf all live together and i am the only one who works and pays bills in the house, and i basically make 1200 a month and mostly spend my check on bills and gas for my truck(i use my personal vehicle for my job). And when i said something about not having any food cooked last night to eat before work my dad starts bitching about how i dont do anything around the house or pay any bills, all while hes getting drunk off his ass from daquiri that a friend gave to us on saturday night. Tbis morning theres none of it left from a gallon of the stuff!
I jhave nobody to talk to about this because nobody in my family gives a shit about each other and had to get it off my chest!

Would someone please explain what is the turn on with "SHIT"? I can't stand the smell of shit, and I start to get nauseous if I see shit. I really want to know. I mean , if you are a guy, does the thought of shit get you hard? Ladies do start getting aroused thinking about shit, smelling shit, and for some eating shit? Why? I never have ate shit. The closest I came to eating any shit, was some food at a Holiday Inn!

ATT: All humans beings of 25 human years and up, SPECIFICALLY South Africans - Exclusive Pan-Sexual (I don't buy these sexual-orientation gerundive labels either, but as a fairly accurate generalised proclivity expectant it will have to do = or I could have said: just enjoy fucking everything thats' alive, legal and human) Hard Swing Orgy to be Hosted close to Cape Town end September 2016.

The Party is a minimum time investment of Friday night 20:00 through to Sunday morning 08:00. No popping off to feed the cat or check on the twins or blaze blunts in your Renault.

Minimum age of applicants: 25 (ish) or proof of minimum 2 year completed membership at an acknowledged Swinger Club endorsed by the Co-Hosts.

Minimum age of consideration for Fluffers, Pets or Valets is 21, non-negotiable.

Deposit upon acceptance of an invitation $1000 (excluding taxes / directives) per person. This is the maximum anyone will pay and covers everything. Yes, I really do mean everything. There are several mechanisms to earn proportional refunds. There is opportunity to receive 25% of their deposit back upon departure post-party for being part of the orientation and etiquette refresher (week prior via webcast). Any guests who are active members of MOTHERLESS.COM from application to departure will receive a 6-month Premium Membership to the site from 1 October 2016 to 31 March 2017.

*You are welcome to refer anyone to get the preamble and be put on the potential applicants list they will need to register and participate on MOTHERLESS.com. We don't read deeply into your profiles but it does give certain insights. Only people on the potential applicants list will have their applications processed.*

The setting is a kick-ass mansion which is professionally staffed and stocked. All food, alcohol, attendants, security, medical, gimps, prostitutes, media capture, sex-paraphernalia, fetish gear, raffle tickets consumables and insurance is included. One strictly controlled zone will be live-streamed to certain broadcast partners / websites. Participants have the option of enforcing certain visage censorship options. However your image rights for the prescribed event times and all profits generated from the trade thereof will be contractually leased to us for the prescribed duration of the party.

No masks, cosplay or theme ; guest-list flavour is Pan-Sexual Libertine and we reserve right of admission and omission to make sure the spread is appropriate. All attendees will participate in an online orientation. There is a compulsory ice-breaker for all guests (in the city) the week prior which does have a COSPLAY element, critical to the success of our previous endeavors. Attendance and participation in these essential mechanisms will guarantee a partial refund of the 1000 US Dollar deposit.

This is a Full Hard Swing Party with themed niches, and Pan-sexual in nature, lipsticks and dipsticks will be weeded out during selection process. No cross-species or fecal interactions, nor any juvenile titillation. Any other legal sexual proclivity is welcome for consideration and all applicants need to have at the absolute minimum tolerance for all kink indulgences. If you have boundary list as long as the League of Nations cartographers stick to chat rooms and a some-sex marriage. And your new hobby of deciding how to rebuke me for that insolence.

To paraphrase our beloved site : if it's legal and it gets you wetter than an otter's pocket or harder than genius level Sudoku - it's on. My acid test on any sexual dilemma is "What would Belladonna do?". Then do it.

Everyone may request the preamble and suspiciously question me in an irritable tone via email or this site's inbox but eventual applicants need to be authentically pan-sexual and broadly sexually tolerant and participant Being offered an opportunity to book a place isn't an immediate process so if you are one of those folk that uses that infuriating brush-off "no ping-pong mails" Don't even bother.

Be fluent in English (written and spoken) and practiced in basic swinger etiquette. There are no physical or mental trump cards so if you pride yourself on your monolithic plumbing or Sting-level Tantric skills super - pop it under "Misc". And if you reckon you're the greatest fuck on Earth then we are lucky to have you and can I get a high five while we Australian Spit-Roast an androgynous hod-carrier with "Don't untie the balloon-knot" tattooed in the small of his back? The only way on planet Earth to manipulate me is to be Harley Quinn and threaten my life if I don't fuck you to within an inch of yours. And I don't mean Margot, I mean Harley.

If you meet the age, un-undead and species requirements and can afford the cost you are welcome to apply.

Any folk who are not living locally are offered a free concierge, accommodation, city orientation and travel management package with significant discounts as an optional extra.

old-agreed personal boundaries, discretion, respect and personal safety are FIERCELY sovereign and enforced by our staff who are uniquely experienced in what is a very intense and volatile environment. We rely upon the accuracy of our selection process to prevent any potential unpleasantness but where there are humans, alcohol and sex there is potential jeopardy. The hosts and hubbers manage the sexual climate but from the arrival of the first paying guest until the hosts departure our man Hein is in charge and decision maker. 'n sterk, sterk mannetjie.

All monies are handled via a Trust with external auditing and transacting.

There are 16 guest spots (excluding hosts and staff), I will be looking for one hub couple who will participate free if they take on that practical prefecture for the party. There are 15 remaining Valet and Fluffer positions which are paid contractual roles.

To get preamble:

Message me on the site with friend request (it will be accepted and must stay in place until you make a decision to apply or not. I'm not in the business of harvesting chaff online so unfriend me when it suits you. The premable will be sent out once a week, each week of this month, applications open 1 September.

If you meet age requirements, can afford the cost and are excited to attend you are welcome to apply. Bribes of under 75 000 000 US Dollars will be kept as evidence for about 20 years then thrown back in your face. Rights share participation is not on sale.

Time-wasters, BullShitters, assholes, The Welsh, Scammers, Trolls, Uber-Trolls and UCAs all are welcome to engage / annoy me, just be sure to expect an answer in kind. I don't use chat apps and only use a cell phone to fake calls and look earnest when I can't watch pornography on any other human-sized device. I do not understand pacmen or code, morse the pity.

Suggestion - this is not a compulsory exercise, religious evangelism, product or company recruitment process nor is it my way to antagonise folk. Please think about it before castigating me and questioning my motives, moral fibre, family tree, breeding, choice of jai alai team to support and gene pool.

Our agenda: We like fucking and we like earning money while we fuck, on a carpet of money. If possible.

Application is free, apparently so is Willy. Which is encouraging.

RIGHT here is the requisite CLICHE:

You will know if this is for you or not, act accordingly - of you are unsure or curious follow your nose.

ALWAYS Asked Questions............

How do I know you will deliver the party you are advertising?

Nobody is going to put down 1K USD without being convinced. If you aren't confident in what you have experienced with us by decision time - reject your option to attend and say cruel and uncouth things about my partners.

Other Hosts' Site Profile names please?

My Co-Hosts are not members of this site, so yes, if you choose to pursue interest here you have to deal with me. If you don't like that send a strongly worded email complaint to my boss: "Anonymous". He is often posting on the boards here and seems involved and just a lol of fun.

Can I talk to people who have attended previous such parties of yours (and I don't mean you or any other hosts / employees you Douche-bag)?

Yes, it is part of the process for successful applicants prior to invites being distributed. Although it strikes me you are the one that is full of shit.

Are you Bill Murray?

Fuck no, I wish.

i confess, that back in 1991-1994 when i was in highschool i was in love with one of 2 sisters that were in the same class with me. my feast for the eyes was the older one though i must admit that i also had some good faps while thinking of the younger one too :-D

the younger one was more beautiful in a common sense but the older one was definitely much more cute, unique and interesting. at least in my eyes.

so it was, that i was also not a greatest attender to classes because i had (and have) good brain and i found classes to be boring. so i always found ways to sneak away from classes and spend some "quality time" in school's cloakroom.

each class had it's own cloakroom-box (we have a quite different school system from US) and each one of them was also locked and every student had his/her own key to it.

so i used to sit in the cloakroom, reading textbooks or just sleeping and once i had a great idea: so i found Piret's (that was her name) coat and searched her pockets. i found some usual stuff and among other things there was a sealed package of a condom.

it was the most mind-blowing find for me because...well..how to say...she wasn't considered to be a "fuckable" girl by our other guys, although she was really quite cute though she wasn't "beautiful". she also behaved in a way that she will stay a virgin til 40y. but i still adored her.

every school dance party we danced together...i picked her and she picked me and we were laughing at that and i also kinda touched her boobs while dancing and she didn't seem to mind that or if she did, it was just a slight shiver through her body when my palms went too close to her boobs etc....

but somehow other classmates didn't find anything attractive about her. they also nick-named her tick-tack because when she walked, her head sometimes used to swing from side to side as a pendulum of an old clock. but that was the least that bothered me. because she was cute and extremely smart and...she smelled extremely sexy!

so...i was spending my time in a cloakroom and i found a condom from her pocket. well...what would you think about that!? it definitely tells you, that this girl feels ready to have sex. and for a high-school chick that's a great deal (not mentioning, that YEARS later, when i was 20-30 i fucked a shitload of girls from 13-15, hehe)!

but that time i was too shy to make any approach. i knew i was quite popular among girls because i had some looks, i was one of the 3 strongest guys in school (according to several contest) and most important of all - i had a charisma of the Napoleon fucking Bonaparte himself! that's not a joke or anything...its simple truth.

but i wasn't used to it and felt extremely shy and thus i had no balls to approach Piret directly. so i was there in the cloakroom, searching her pockets and i just jacked off at the pics of her documents and the smell of her scarf and if i was lucky, then also on the smell of her gym trousers if it happened to be the day when we had gym class because students tended to hold their gym clothes in cloakroom and i just used them for an even better fap.

then one day i went over the line.

it was winter and it was freezing outside. everybody wore gloves. so did Piret. and i was still sniffing her gym pants and jacking off on her personal photos. and then one day i just couldn't resist and i opened the condom in her wallet, rolled it over my dick, shot it full of juicy cum, rolled it off and put it back into her pocket.

damn...i had no idea, what she would do after finding it... i was quite sure, she would quit the school etc...but nothing happened. i kept away from the cloakroom for a week but when i went back there at last and checked her pockets, i found a new condom in a package!

so i got the message!!!

i jacked off into it again and deposited it into her pocket and the next day it was gone and a new condom was already waiting, the package half-opened as a glue for me that i'm welcome to continue what i was doing.

i was shocked in a way but i followed the leads and kept on while one day, just some minutes after i had finished, Piret came to the cloakroom during the classes.

of course i pretended just to sit there and it wasn't anything spectacular because several guys from our class were skipping classes and sitting in cloakroom. we shared some news and then she checked her pockets.

i was kinda dying when she openly pulled out the condom i had just cummed in some minutes ago. i tried not to see it but...shit...it was a tiny room and she kept her eyes on me...

the next thing she did was putting it back into her pocket and then she just kneed down in front of me, unzipped my jeans, pulled out my dick and started to suck on it.

she was a lucky girl...in a way, that it only took her like 30 seconds til i came, so she didn't have to suck too long.

she swallowed it, wiped her lips and told me: "i knew all the time, it was YOU and i don't understand why you have been keeping it in secret that you like me but next months is my birthday and you're expected to be there"

that was the last time before that birthday she talked to me. she just ignored me.

i was dying of embarrassment but in the end on february i went to her place and got there just when her parents and younger sister went out (probably to celebrate theirself). so we were there all alone. sitting behind a table full of good foods. we ate some and then it all started again. the only difference was, that this time she also took off her pants and sat on my face, so i could lick her too.

this happened 2 more times in different times and places during our school years. we never fucked, though i would have loved to do that. those days she just had much more balls than i did and she had all the leads.

meanwhile we acted like nothing had ever happened. in even acted like we didn't like each other in public. i never had a REAL chance to tell her how much i loved her but i love her til today. not because we had good times but because she has been the most cutest girl i have ever seen in my life.

I confess I want to fuck the shit out of the blonde girl that works at the 711 by my house. I usually go in around the same time every night to buy food and other crap, I fantasize about fucking her tight little ass in the bathroom.

I like smear shit, piss and food messy. Who want “to play” with me online or offline send PM 
U’ll write to me what to do and I’ll send photos or videos 

I'm pretty sure that my fiancé's sister wants to fuck me. She always stares at me and only dresses provocatively when we come visit. Whenever she can, she leans forward so her top drapes open. (She doesn't wear a bra. EVER). The last visit, when she handed me the leftover food for us to take, she pushed herself so that my hand pressed between the food and her breast.

I kinda have to admit, she is insanely sexy, and has on multiple occasions told me that she is able to put her feet behind her head.

I want to try her out, but don't want to disrupt an entire family if shit pops off.

Any suggestions or advice?

I confess that I had a dream last night that I was at a ball game and I farted the Star Spangled Banner. Then the worst happened, I woke up and I was just covered in shit. I had to throw out the sheets it was so bad. I'm not proud of myself. Next time, no Mexican food BEFORE BED EVER! Gahh!

Recently I saw some episode of csi. At the end some guy was proven to have eaten mole poison. Then they showed mole poison, being called "mole killer".

This disgusting stuff was looking like... spinach. Poison being fabricated into small cuboids that looked exactly like spinach that is being fabricated(to be separated even after having been in the freezer) as cuboids.

The guy of csi knew it though and did it on purpose.

Now every time I see spinach in my freezer, that I bought weeks ago, that was not poison weeks ago, that is not poison now, I cannot eat it because all I think of is eating poison.

This might even lead to symptoms based on the placebo effect.

And it gets worse. For some weird reason I looked up this mole poison and I found something else: mole poison earthworms-like looking. The distributor was so proud to write that "they even feel and bend like earthworms and earthworms are mole's natural source of food". As if that wasn't enough he had a pdf-file titled: "What if my dog eats them?". The PDF concluded: "Your dog has to eat two worms to get sick."

Now each time I see earthworms-shaped jellybabies/gummi bears I cannot eat them anymore. Whereas this is not the worst thing, as they are unhealthy anyways; not because of poison but because of sugar.

The problem is, I cannot unthink those pictures. Everything that has any relateable form reminds me of them. And basically, what doesn't look like a cuboid?

Shit, I now realize that the keys of my keyboard are cuboids.

How do I get my realistic sense of form perception back?

In the last 4 years i got 7 bitches pregnant. I made three get a abortion. One I didn't know about until it was to late to flush it. Other three cunts plus the one all came after me and now I got little bastards , well one is a girl, that i got to pay support for. I said fuck that shit the cunt moms can buy their fuckin food. So quit my lousy job and now work under the tables--CASH ONLY MOTHERFUCKERS!!! Hahaha!!

I told my wife that if she don't start giving up that mouth and asshole on demand and cooking me some damn good food like Spam and casseroles and biscuits and shit like that that I am gonna start knocking her dammed teeth down her throat. Tonight she made me a real good peach cobbler and I sodomied her across a chair in the dining room. Stomachs full and I got a little shit on my dick so I ain't gonna go upside her head today.

I just turned 35 and have something I need to confess.I Actually probably have much more than this one post but this is where I'll start. The summer after I graduated High School I started working for my Grandad at his gas station. It was still full service back in the late 90's and it worked around my upcoming college class schedule.

My Aunt Ginger ran it for my grandad as his health was not that great and he was getting on up in years. She was 48 and I was 18. She had been the focus off many jerk off sessions in my teen years. She still had blonde hair,not sure if she dyed it, and was in great shape. She swam,ran and worked out constantly,in talking to my mom I found out her husband at the time and soon to be ex was a total piece of shit. He cheated on her constantly and was abusive mentally and physically.

At this time they were separated but probably still fucking bc he would be at her house a few nights a week.Her only child,my older cousin, was five years older than me and was in the armed services and was in town before going on a deployment for 6 months. After work Friday she asked if my sister,her boyfriend and I wanted to come cookout Saturday night we said sure. I had to work Saturday but got off at 6 and headed over there. When I got there you could tell everybody already had a few to drink and where lounging in and around the pool. My drunk Aunt who was normally reserved told me to grab a beer and get my swim trunks and get in the pool. I ran inside changed and came on out. She was laying out on a raft in the middle of the pool. She said come on in the water is fine.I dove in beer in hand and swam to her to put it on her raft. Coming out of the water I almost choked. Her raft spun and I came up at the foot of it and found myself staring right at her crotch. For some reason her suit was sitting wrong and the edge of the suit on one side was right up between her pussy lips. "You gonna drown" I heard my uncle shout from the grill,snapping me back in to reality. "Yep I'm ok just sucked in some water"I yelled back. My aunt asked if I could push her raft to the steps so she could get out. I obliged and got to the side and pushed it the 20 ft to the shallow end steps. When we got there she rubbed my head like a puppy then kissed me on the check and said you were always my favorite nephew. I said gee thanks considering my other cousin was total douche and spoiled brat and everyone hated him. As she got out she did that thing woman do when they get out of water and adjusted her bikini bottoms. I tried to catch a sneak peak but only got to see some ass cheek.

About 5 minutes later my uncle calls out the food is ready and my cousin,sister, and her bf wake up and we all head in side.By this time my aunt had changed in to some running shorts and a tank top. She was refilling her wine glass and fixing her plate when my uncle said something shitty aboout how much food she had on her plate. I was known to be a smart ass and patted my uncles belly and said like you have any room to talk. I turned to my aunt and said he's just jealous of your girlish figure and wishes he could still wear a bikini. Everybody laughed and we ate and drank and chilled out. Aunt Ginger finished off a bottle of whatever wine and said she was going to bed. Uncle Bill was passed out on the couch and the rest of us went to different guest rooms and passed out for the night. About 4 am I woke up with a raging hard on and the feeling I was going to piss all over myself. the house was pitch black and was still very drunk. I felt my way down the hall and found the guest bathroom to which the wonderful sounds of my sister's bf vomittting coming through the door. There was only one other bathroom up stairs and that was the master. The door was cracked open and I tried to be careful but the raging piss being barely held back was the only think I cared about. I opened the bathroom and flipped on the light and closed the door behind. To anyones that had to piss with a hard on it's not easy. I did my best to hit the toilet but i'm pretty sure most of it was anywhere but. As I was shaking the last of the piss out the door start to open and my Aunt goes Bill are you Ok? I pause not knowing what to do and for some reason turn towards her dick straight in the air and before I can say a word she says come to bed you know how horny wine makes me and opens the door wide open in nothing but her panties. Our eyes meet then she stares at my dick while I'm starring at her boobs. She's goes Oh My Good Jake I'm so sorry. I finally get my shorts up and run out while she is diving back in her bed.

The next morning everyone sleeps in but I get up first and head downstairs. I see Uncle Bill tried to get to his bedroom but fell at the top stairs and passed out again and even looked like he pissed his pants. I head to the kitchen and grab some Orange juice before I head outside and dive in the pool to clear my head. I swim a few laps before I get out.As I'm coming up the ladder I look up and my aunt has been sitting there watching me. She's chilling, drinking some coffee and asks me how feel. I told her my head is ringing but I'll be ok. She says so about last night and I tell her that Clay was throwing up and I had to piss and start to ramble. She says don't sweat it, it will be our little secret. I say works for me and we gone in about the time everyone is waking up and cook breakfast then aftewrads I head home.

Monday I get to work and she is already gone and this goes on everyday until Thursday. Thursday I come in and the older man that works there had come in as well. He says your Aunt called me in and said to call have you call her when you got here. I call her up and she says I need some work down at my house come on over. I get there knock on the door and no one answers. The door is unlocked so I open it and hollar out Hello. She yells down upstairs Jake. Not knowing what was happening and having read one to many penthouse forums I start to think it's about to go down. I head upstairs and call out Aunt Ginger and she says in the bedroom Honey. I walk in hoping for my Aunt naked but find her in overalls and a head band cleaning out her closets. She is throwing all of my uncles stuff in boxes and just cramming it in there then duct taping the shit out of it. I ask her whats up and she tells me that she told Uncle Bill they were done this time. Come to find out that weekend they were going to reconcile and she was going to let him move back home. Sunday my cousin overheard his dad talking on the phone to his girlfriend after we all left telling her he was out of town and would be back tonight. My cousin confronted him and broke his dad's nose when his dad told him to mind his own fucking business. So my Aunt had been busy getting an attorney and restraining orders. I told her she seemed pretty upbeat considering she was getting a divorce. She says it feels like a 1000 lb weight has been lifted and I feel free again. So we work and laugh and pack all his stuff up and put it outside in the garage for him to pick up while she's at work the next day. It's kind of late and she says go get some food and come back my treat for being so helpful. She hands me $50 and I head to the chinese place down the street. When I get back she is in the den on the couch listening to what had to of been Kenny G or some shit. She had lit some candles and turned the lights down some and had poured a glass of wine. She said grab a beer and join me. I walked in and she was wearing some running shorts and over size t shirt. Nothing really sexy about it except the way she was sitting I could see up her shorts enough to see her black lace panties. She patted the spot next to her and said sit down. I plopped down and passed her a container of sweet and sour chicken and some chopsticks and we just ate and talked about the assholes we deal with everyday at work. The more she drank the more touchy she got. Rubbing my legs,touching my hair,and pushing me like she was a 16 yr girl. She asks about my gf and I tell her we broke up a few weeks back bc she was going away to school and it was stupid to try to make it work. She said well as handsome as you are you will be fine. You have become such a good looking young man and really grown in to your big head. As a kid my head was huge luckily I was 6'4 by then and it was normal. She then goes your cock has really grown to since the days when you used to spend the night and run around naked when you were supposed to be putting your pajamas on. I choked on my beer and said "what" she says "I'm just playing with you Jake,lighten up you aren't the only one who can be a smart ass." I laugh and tell her that I'm glad she left Bill bc he was a dick. She agreed then said "crash on the couch or in one of the guest rooms,you've had to much to drink and your mom would kill me if I let you drive." I wake up the next morning about 9am find a note on the fridge. Don't come in to work today I have your shift covered,I need some work done at the house. Chill out the house is yours i'll be back by 2.

I eat breakfast then decide if I want to shower or take a bath in her big jacuzzi tub. I throw my underwear in the washer and grab some of my cousins shorts and T shirt and head up stairs. I turn on the jacuzzi and start to look for a towel. Nothing under the sink so I open the closet and they are sitting there on a shelf. I grab one and go to walk out when a laundry basket in the corner grabs my eye. I look and see a pair of panties on top. I walk over pick them up and immediately smell them. My cock instantly sprang to life. They were the ones she had on the day before working the house and smelled like it. I looked around and found some baby oil and started to go to work. It was the greatest thing I ever smelled and I just had to taste them. I started to lick the crotch and could taste her all over them. My the time I was done jacking off the smell and taste were gone and I was dizzy with lust. I jumped in the tub and just relaxed for about hour it seemed. I got out and went and watched TV. Nothing good was on so I started looking through her movies to find something. My cousin liked all the good comedies like Airplaneand Caddyshack so I knew there would be something. In the very back I found one blank VHS tape and put it in the VCR. Figuring it could be one of Bill's porn tapes I hoped it would be something good. It starts off it was just an old copy of some shitty 90's TV show. I fast forwarded a little and the show went black for a minute then it's my Aunt's bedroom. She's laying on the bed talking on the phone. After a minute I realize she is talking to Uncle Bill and they are having phone sex.He is on speaker and she is recording it for him. She is very shy you can tell and nothing very dirty per se. He has her finger her pussy spread eagle then has her get on all fours and tells her to spread her ass cheeks. She says"Bill you know I don't like that." He begs her and she finally relents.She gets on all fours and spreads her ass wide and she fingering her snatch and tells her to slide a finger in her ass. She sticks one in her mouth and moistens it before she slowly inserts it in her ass. Before long she is face down in the bed 2 fingers in her ass the other hand going back and forth between her clit and fingering herself. She gets more wild then you can tell she is having an orgasm. She calms down rolls over and he tells her goodnight then she comes to the camera and kisses then lens and says I love you Honey. The date was from 1991. I fast forwarded to see if anything else was on there but nothing other than shitty TV shows.

(to be continued)

I confess I cheated on my girlfriend with a really fat chinese girl, and I utterly loved it.

I really want to tell someone, but she is so utterly fat I really couldn't face my friends if they found out. Also the shame if my GF found out. The fact that I cheated on her with such a fat fuck. Here in HK, being fat is a totally shameful, They dont differentiate between fat and ugly here. If you are fat you are ugly.

My adventure begins here (http://mlps.pika777.eu.org/VE752740) about how we met and how she wanted to do it, and why I didn't. We were in contact for a couple of years or so, but then we both got busy with our lives in HK and I didnt contact her for almost a year.

We exchanged intimate pics previously and she asked me to delete them, naturally I complied, but not without sending to a hidden hotmail account for later perusal. Nothing too hardcore, no pussy, but just face and cleavage shots and one of her tits.
During the year of non contact I regularly cracked it out to these photos. My GF and I have our own iPads so before bed I would look at this other girl while I'm lying in bed naked next to my actual GF. One time my GF actually caught me looking at the tits pic and asked me if I liked fat girl porn. I was freaking out, but it turned out my GF thought I was just looking at porn, which is still bad but not nearly as bad as if she found out I was cheating on her. It wasn't all bad though, I still ended up having sex with my GF that night. I couldn't believe it. I spent the whole time wishing I was pushing up into this girl in the iPad instead of my actual GF. I believe its quite common to be thinking of other people when having sex with your regular partner, but to have your real sex partner see the girl that you're fantasising over, that really drove me bonkers.

So anyway, a couple of weeks ago the fat girl mails me out of the blue to catch up. By this time I moved into my own apartment (my girlfriend regularly stays, but still stays at her parents house officially, they are a quite conventional family; even having a foreigner bf is quite a big thing for her parents) I joke to her maybe she could come to my new place and check it out. To my surprise, she replies, yes, lets go for food near your place. I sprang a boner right there so hard it actually ached. I even started getting a small old-cum wet patch leak through to be visible on my pants. I had to crack one out just to get rid of these blueballs feelings and get on with my day.

We finally caught up on Sunday when she was free. After we apologised to each other for not having stayed in contact for a long time, she then got into telling me about herself. It turns out she met another American guy for the last year or so and had been 'together' for all this time. Only trouble is, he speaks no Chinese and lives in California. At that point I'm thinking, how is this really a relationship? But she said they talk every day on Skype, and that he'd been over to HK to see her, and earlier this year she went to California to see him. And they had plans of him moving over to HK for a year or her going over to his for a year. She showed me photos of them together in Disneyland, and they looked miserable. I joked to her that they looked so unhappy together in Disneyland of all places, and she confessed that the last time they met in real life, they just quarrelled all the time. I asked her how much Chinese the guy spoke. She said they only communicate in English. This struck me as being a bit odd because when I first met her, she spoke almost no English. But then again, it probably provides a good reason to learn. My reason to learn Chinese was so I could eat food in HK, without looking like a retard mute and using only hand signs to communicate.

But it wasn't a communication problem. It turned out this guy was crying all the time to her and getting angry at her when she didn't immediately return his mails. I asked her if she thought he had depression and she said, maybe, but I don't know what to do, he already met my parents and I've met his mother. He already asked her to marry him. By this point I realised what a pitiful situation she was in. Her fatness in HK made her an absolute monster in this country. Undateable. And the only men she could attract were either ones who were fine with cheating on their girlfriends, or freaks with mental problems. I did feel sorry for her situation.

Anyway, we finished the meal and I asked if she still wanted to come see my new place. She agreed and the boner popped back in my pants as if nothing was amiss. Only trouble is I had to stand up now and walk out the restaurant. Well no-one said anything, so I'm guessing I either have a small erection or no one noticed or cared.

We got back to mine and I showed her the studio apartment. Tiny, tiny place, 1 room, the bed doubling as the sofa. so we both sat on the bed. I asked her if her own place was any better than this. She said of course, she had 2 bedrooms and separate living room kitchen, but of course it was her parents place. Also, if all I'm doing is sleeping here, then it was more than enough.

Here she was, the girl I was dreaming of for the last year, sitting on my bed. The first time we were in a private space together. I didn't know what to do! I could feel my heart beating. My cock rock solid.
At this point I asked if she wanted a message. I moved to sit behind her on the bed, so that she was sitting between my spread legs, and moved my hands up to the back of her neck. After a few seconds she leaned forward immediately and said "Thank you" - meaning, Thank you, you can stop now. I tried again and she leaned forward again. So I kinda got the message and moved to the side of her. At this point, I didn't know what to do. I sat much closer to her this time and so our legs and arms were touching. She didn't seem to mind, or at least move away. I looked at her face, and when her face turned to look at mine, I moved in to kiss her. we kissed passionately very briefly and then she said she couldn't do it because we both had partners. I then moved back and said OK, if she says no, then I wont push it.
She looked away from me, but then I noticed she was looking down at my crotch. I looked down to see the bulge of my erection with several small wet patches where the tip of my cock was.
She asked me if I came already. What an embarrassing moment. I laughed nervously and said no, its the old-cum. I didn't know what to do next. Should I stand up and clean it up? Talk about something else? I'd just been rejected (and to be fair, she had her shit going on, its not like she led me on)
She moved her hand on top of my penis and started circling around the wet patch and then moved her finger down the shaft towards my balls. I couldn't believe she was going for this! I moved in again and kissed her on the lips. This time round she kissed me back and didn't stop. I wanted to fuck this girl so bad and it looked like it was going to happen. I tried to put my hand up her shirt by her back, but she resisted this a couple of times, saying she was shy. After the 2nd time, I took off my shirt and got back to kissing her. Although she had other ideas. Her hand moved from my penis to my belt buckle, where she slackened it off and began slipping her had down my underwear. At that point I stopped her, because I knew that if theres enough old-cum to seep through 2 layers of clothes, the source is going to be a real mess. I stood up and pulled my pants and underwear down to reveal my manhood to her, taking care to use my fingers to wipe off the old-cum as I pulled my underwear down. As soon as I sat down again, she moved in straight away and started kissing the tip of my penis with her mouth. This then turned into her opening up and taking in more of me in her mouth. I couldn't believe I was watching her suck my penis. After a little while I could feel the urge of an orgasm building and I realised that unless I did something, I was about to blow. I pulled her head away from my cock and kissed her roughly, pulling up her shirt at the same time. This time there was no resistance, and before I knew it we were both naked and making out on the bed. This is when I copped a feel of her breasts.

They were amazing. The biggest I'd ever felt. They had shape to them but when I cupped and squeezed one, they were so soft to the touch. She lied on top of me and I directed her nipple to my mouth. I licked and sucked her left nipple, whilst gently squeezing both left and right breasts with my hands. I could feel her nipple getting larger and tougher in my mouth, much larger and harder than her right nipple that I occasionally circled with my fingers at the same time. These were the tits I had fantasised over for almost a year and they were finally in my face and in my mouth. I was in fucking heaven.

After a while we stopped that and she lied down beside me. I moved on top of her and started on her breasts again briefly before moving down her stomach and down to her pussy. At this point I realised quite how fat she was. She had really large love handles and a really soft shapeless stomach. my hands held her soft stomach and she grabbed my hands and moved them away. Clearly she was not confident about her body, specifically her stomach. I reassured her that she was no worse than women in US, and she had the biggest tits I had ever seen in real life.

I then moved down to her crotch and separated her legs. And there it was. Her pussy. She had taken the time to shave down there, except a small tuft at the top. It made me realise she was expecting today to happen like this after all. I parted her chubby outer pussy lips to reveal her inner clips and clitoris. I noticed a small white line emanating from her pussy hole. Clearly she was enjoying herself.

I moved my head in and started started to lick the top of her vagina ever so lightly. I remembered an earlier comment in my last post (http://mlps.pika777.eu.org/VE752740) about how NOT to go down on the girl unless she was literally in the shower. But I was so horny and so was she, I thought I could just take one for the team. Though strangely she wasn't so bad tasting. In fact, she tasted much less strong than my significantly slimmer girlfriend.

At this point she let out a moan and held my head in place with her hand. After a few moments of licking I took my index finger and ran it down from her clit until I found the opening to her vagina.
I pushed my finger inside and I found very little resistance. It was so wet and welcoming it just slipped in. Usually with my girlfriend I have to lick my finger first, and thats only after she asked me to finger her first. I twisted my hand round so that my index finger could press on her G-spot. As soon as I did this she arched her back and moaned. I continued to lick her clitoris whilst still curling my finger upwards and rubbing against her G-spot. I knew that she was quite close to orgasm, but I couldn't quite seem to get her there. She was moaning and at one point I could feel the ring of her pussy hole contract around my finger ever so slightly, but she didn't have the body jerking orgasm I was hoping to see, the one my girlfriend can pull off with a vibrator and my finger.

I tried as best as I could, but my tongue and finger got tired and I had to stop. As I came back up to her I asked her if she had an orgasm. She told me she had many! I couldn't believe it! She lay there panting, a giant mass of flesh, legs apart, a soaking wet pussy. I had to fuck her.

I grabbed a condom and put it on. This was the point were I stopped to consider whether I should really be doing this. If my girlfriend ever did find out, at least I could say we fooled about but at least we didn't have sex. But this girl was right in front of me, the forbidden fruit. she wanted me. I wanted her. I couldn't help myself.

I lined up my penis with her entrance, then gently pushed inside. To my surprise, the ring of her pussy was slightly tighter than my girlfriend's, but as I made my way deeper inside, it was much much softer, and by the time I got balls-deep, I could feel my legs, balls and abdomen touching against her body. It was so warm and soft. Everything just flowed in and out so smoothly. It was the best sex I ever had in my life.

I raised the tempo a little and pumped harder and harder. She could certainly take this increasing roughness. One thing I particularly enjoyed was that because she had a much larger body, I didn't need to hold her down to stop her moving back every time I thrust into her. With my girlfriend I have to either fuck quite lightly, lie right on top of her, or put my hands in a position above her shoulders so she doesn't move back when I thrust into her. I also needed to apply lubricant to the condom. The sex is still great, but that awkward step of taking time out to put on the condom is that little bit more lengthy with having to add lube as well.

A little while later and I could feel myself building up. It was probably a bit sooner than it really ought to have been, but I thought fuck it, she already had her orgasm, I want mine! I started to breath more deeply and thrusting faster and harder. I couldn't stop myself. As I reached the point of no return, she looked directly at me and said something in Chinese. I couldn't quite work out what it was, but I wasn't really in the mood to ask and get the dictionary out. I thrust hard and fast and I came in her, this giant mound of a woman. Afterwards I lay on top of her, I couldn't move. It was like a giant warm and wet cushion. We were both sweating. She felt so comfortable to be on (and in) I loved this feeling so much.

Eventually I pulled out to find I had produced more cum than I had ever done in my life. Those condoms sure are heavy duty. Still, breathless, I looked at her. Finally, after a year of wanting, I finally fucked this fat girl.

Later when we were getting dressed, she asked me if I felt regret. Regret for the best sex of my life? No. No regret. I will say that I really love my girlfriend very much and I still have plans to live with and marry her. However I do know that she be utterly heartbroken and would leave me if she ever found out. Its not great to have the thought you have to carry round the secret of cheating on someone you love. But I will say this, it was utterly mind blowing sex. A life well lived is the result of various experiences, even if it comes at the cost of social conventions. Thank you motherless for giving me this opportunity to share my experiences.

I CONFESS I HATE NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!

NIGGERS ARE / WERE BORN IN AFRICA / OBONGO COUNTRY RIGHT???...
SO I HATE NIGGERS!!!!!!!!!!

i confess i hate NIGGERS... and heres why....AND THEY ALL COME FROM AFRICA

today, while at my storage unit... i opend it up and all my shit cam crashing down on me.. SO I YELLED ""FUCKING NIGGERS""

while standing on line to buy food... some NIGGER pulls out her FS CARD and i was like, You Fucking Nigger , !!

WAL-MART - parking lot is FILLED WITH EMPTY CARTS, So... whos gunna get them??? NIGGERS OF COURSE!!

we have a DUMB ASS NIGGER In office smiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: rollsmiley: roll(of course no 1 knows where hes from , , we dont even know his FIRST NAME or is that his LAST NAME??)

Niggers are out on the streets panhandling...

Niggers SMELL!!!! ever try walking by one on the streets????...eeeww they smell!!!!!!!!

NIGGERS WORK IN FAST FOOD....

NIGGERS DONT HAVE $$ ,

NIGGERS STEAL $$

NIGGERS KILL!!!!

NEED I SAY MORE????

I confess...

My sister had to stay over my place for a weekend. I was taking a shower, and she needed to use the bathroom. So, I let her come in, while I was still showering. She starts talking to me, and without even thinking I look out of the shower, and she is sitting on the toilet, basically naked, taking a shit. She didn't care at all. So I am just about ready to get out of the shower and she is still there, and I needed to get to work. So I just got the towel, and got out of the shower. She didn't cover up or anything just sat there on here phone still talking to me, like it was normal, to be taking a shit in front of me. I just kept getting ready for work, and acted like everything was normal, but I kept looking over at her. You could basically see her whole tit from the side, and a little patch of pubes, from the way she was sitting on the toilet. I never thought this would happen, but I was actually getting turned on from having my sister shit in front of me. I played it cool, and left the bathroom, and finished getting ready for work. She was finally done in the bathroom, and as I go out to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee, she is just walking around in her thong and tank top. I didn't want to make anything weird, so I just left and went to work. Came home later on, and she wearing a tshirt and underwear playing my xbox. I go to the bathroom, and get changed, and come out to play xbox with her. Now, since she is wearing her panties, and seems likes it no big deal, I come out just wearing my boxers and tshirt. We sit and play xbox for a while, then order food. I end up daring her to answer the door wearing her underwear. She was all about it, she got all excited, and said it would be funnier if she wore a thong, so she changed again. I couldn't help but to stare at her butt as she was walking up to the door and looking out for the Chinese food guy. He finally got here, and she did it. She answered the door wearing nothing but a tight tshirt that stopped right above her belly button, and this white lacy thong. I couldn't believe what was happening. She seemed so excited to surprise the delivery guy, So, we ate the food, smoked some weed, and just hung out for a while. She was still in her thong, and I was just laying on the couch in by boxers. I have been thinking about her body ever since.

hi this just happend on omegle , i was trolling for peado's to annoy when this stupid cunt came along !!! im james ( you)she ( stranger) was a indian or was it a guy pretending who gives a shit . i used a fake pic nearly got rumbled haha:P anyway it killed an hour some sick fuck will get off on this :P and dont fuckin whinge about grammar an shit :) i have pics she emailed fucking ugly as sin :P

random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Hi

You: hi

Stranger: 19 f India

Stranger: you?

You: m uk 19

You: whats your name

Stranger: harshini

You: hi harshini nice to meet you

Stranger: your name?

You: im james

You: :)

Stranger: nice name

You: thank you , yours is pretty

Stranger: thanks!

You: :D

You: how is your day going babe ?

Stranger: it's going on well

You: :)

You: indian girls are very pretty

Stranger: lol :D

You: :D

You: what are you doing right now babe ?

Stranger: just relaxing

You: same as me :)

You: with your boyfreind are you ?

Stranger: lol no

You: do you have one ?

Stranger: i had one

You: awe

You: i m sorry

Stranger: it's ok

Stranger: never mind

You: :)

Stranger: :)

You: :)

You: what do you like to do babe?

Stranger: lol y?

You: i would like to hear what you like your hobbies and intrests babe

You: :)

Stranger: i watch television

Stranger: roam around with friends

You: cool :)

You: hehe that sound lots of fun

Stranger: lol

You: :)

You: i like football and cricket and the pub :D

Stranger: sounds cool :D

You: hehe

You: truth or dare

Stranger: nothing

You: :(

You: awe

Stranger: truth

You: yay

You: do you like omegle ?

Stranger: i dont like it

Stranger: i dont hate it either

You: cool

You: is it nice to live there ?

Stranger: where?? in india?

You: yes

Stranger: well, it's nice

You: :)

You: do the men treat you well?

Stranger: ofcourse, they don't! :P

You: awe thats sad

Stranger: not a problem

You: i would treat you nice

Stranger: aha

Stranger: in what sense?

You: i would not talk down to you or make you do anything you didnt want i would respect you

Stranger: ok, but y?

You: becouse you deserve it , we are equals

Stranger: hmm ok

You: thats how all women should be treated

You: i think

Stranger: oh i see

You: :)

You: are you pretty ?

Stranger: lol i think i am!

You: :D

You: describe yourself :)

Stranger: give me your e-mail id

You: its

Stranger: i'll send you wait

You: ok babe :)

Stranger: sent

You: :D i got it

Stranger: :D

You: you are very pretty

Stranger: lol thanks! :)

You: thank you for the pic :)

Stranger: ok :)

You: very sexy lady :)

Stranger: aha! :)

You: :)

Stranger: tell me one thing frankly

You: ok babe

Stranger: you are horny, right?

You: after seeing you in that dress :)

Stranger: lol ok

Stranger: what would you do if you get me? :D

You: sexually ?

Stranger: yeah!

You: i would lick your pussy , lick your ass , slowly fuck you you for a long time

Stranger: wait, i

Stranger: i'll send you one more

You: ok :)

Stranger: sent

You: mmm your so sexy :D

Stranger: lol i know!

You: has ay one licked your ass before ?

Stranger: to be frank.. yeah!

You: mmmm i would right now

Stranger: i'd fart on you then! :P

You: hehe id still carry on :P

Stranger: you would proceed in that smell?

You: yep

Stranger: you like it?

You: i like you

Stranger: if i shit, then?

You: maybe

Stranger: you are dirty! :P

You: hehe :P

You: do you like that :P

Stranger: yeah, only if you eat it :D

You: would you kiss me as i did :P

Stranger: yeah..

You: i would then

Stranger: :)

You: :)

You: what panties are you waering baby

Stranger: nothing :P

You: hehe :)

You: are you horny

Stranger: kind of

You: hehe :D

You: i would like to see your pussy is it hairy ?

Stranger: yeah!

You: mmmmm

Stranger: you lime hairy ones?

Stranger: like*

You: if yours is yes :)

You: have you got a pic of it ?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: i dont take such pics

You: awe

Stranger: :)

You: i would lick you till you cum in my mouth

Stranger: i'd piss too! :D

You: i would drink it

Stranger: lol

You: :D

You: have you pissed on anyone ?

Stranger: i do it always

Stranger: pissing

You: who too

Stranger: and i've got this problem of shitting too soon after sex

You: hehe :D

You: who did you piss on

You: :P

Stranger: my ex!

You: lucky boy

Stranger: he used to clean my ass after i shit :D

Stranger: with his tongue

You: hehe i bet he did too

You: did you clean his ?

Stranger: once! :P

You: :D

You: have you ever eaten shit ?

Stranger: i licked it

Stranger: thats all

You: his or yours ?

Stranger: his ass

Stranger: while licking it, i've tasted

You: are you wet thinking about it ?

Stranger: yea, i know you are too!

You: yep im hard , do you like incest ?

Stranger: not all time

You: have you had sex with yur family babe ?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: i had it wid my ex

Stranger: many times

Stranger: thats all

You: i wish you would sen a pic of you shitting hehehe :P

Stranger: lol..

Stranger: i told you i wont take suck pics of mine

Stranger: such*

You: hehe i know

You: :)

Stranger: :)

Stranger: will you eat mine?

You: yes

Stranger: will you clean my ass then?

You: yes

Stranger: what if i fart on your face?

You: i will fuck your arse and cum in it hehe

Stranger: mmmm..

Stranger: send me your pic

You: ok

You: sent

Stranger: i didnt get yet

You: keep checking

You: :)

Stranger: i know you arent him

You: yes i am :( why would you say ?

Stranger: no you are not

You: dont you like me ?

You: its k if you think im ugly

Stranger: i dont care about beauty

You: dont you like me ?

Stranger: the person in the pic is good

Stranger: but i dont think its you

You: well it is , i would never say that about your pics

Stranger: i can send one more if mine if you dont believe

Stranger: of*

You: i do beileve you

You: i never doubt you

You: i know im not beautiful like you

Stranger: i dont care that

You: dont you want to shit on me anymore?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: :D

You: :)

Stranger: :)

You: i want you to shit on me and kiss me babe

Stranger: you lick my asshole and then i will

You: ok i will lick it good

You: get my tongue right inside your ass hole

Stranger: eat all my brownish smelly shit

You: mmmm yes bby you taste so good you should try some

Stranger: then i'll taste yours

Stranger: you fart on my face

You: mmmmmm a wet fart baby

Stranger: will that be smelly?

You: yes

Stranger: mmmmm i love it

Stranger: donr you think im kinky?

You: i love it baby

You: you such a sexy shit eating girl

Stranger: i love shit!

You: i love your shit

Stranger: indian shit is very tasty than yours.. i guess :P

You: mmmmm we can eat both together

Stranger: you tasted anytime before?

You: honestly ?

Stranger: yea

You: yes

Stranger: mmmmm i love it

You: i licked a girs arse when she was a sleep it was shitty she never wiped properly

Stranger: mmmmmmmm

You: can i tell you a secret ?

Stranger: yea

You: it was my sisters arse

Stranger: what!!

You: yep

Stranger: but y?

You: she is very hot

You: i wanted her shit

Stranger: and she knows that?

You: idk

Stranger: what all did you do then?

You: i licked the shit from her then i put a finger in her arse to get more

Stranger: did u get anymore?

You: yes

You: a lil ball of it

Stranger: mmmmm

You: i sniffed it and she rolled over so i swallowed it

Stranger: how old is she?

You: 16

Stranger: wow!

You: is that a good wow ?

Stranger: yea

You: :D

You: i try to get her to catch me wanking

Stranger: does she observe?

You: not yet :(

Stranger: :)

You: does it turn you on i eat my sisters shit baby

Stranger: lol

You: ate*

You: what else turns you on?

Stranger: many kinky things

You: mmm tell me please

Stranger: licking armpits :P

You: hehe mine are hairy and smelly

Stranger: biting balls

Stranger: :P

You: hehe

You: are you masterbating

Stranger: kind of

You: how?

Stranger: fingering

You: i want to shit on your pussy as you finger

Stranger: lol

Stranger: i'll put that finger in your mouth

Stranger: :P

You: mmmm

Stranger: how do you ppl clean the ass in general?

Stranger: tissues?

You: toilet paper

Stranger: we use left hand

Stranger: :P

You: mmmm really ?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: indian style

You: tell me how you clean your shitty arse

Stranger: water it and clean with hand simultaneuosly

You: you should use piss instead

Stranger: lol

You: i want to walk around in public wiyh you , and you shit in your panties

Stranger: lol

Stranger: y?

You: so i can smell your shit

Stranger: hehe

You: then we find sum were quite and i fuck ur ass hard

Stranger: you like doing in the ass?

You: yes

You: i love it

Stranger: :)

Stranger: lol

You: if you had a son would you fuck him?

Stranger: no

Stranger: never

You: what if his shit tasted better than yours hehe

You: :P

Stranger: dont talk like that

You: im just kidding :P

Stranger: bad joke

You: awe

You: could you eat shit everyday ?

Stranger: no

You: how often ?

Stranger: when i do sex

You: every day i would fuck you ?

Stranger: hehe

You: hehe

You: i need a shit

Stranger: lol

You: i do

You: i farted and it stinks

Stranger: haha :D

You: hehe

Stranger: i love stinky fats!

Stranger: farts*

You: you should of smelled this one

You: what if you was asleep i shited on your face

Stranger: i'll kick your balls

You: you would eat it

Stranger: lol

You: wouldnt you ?

Stranger: may be

You: i wana wake u up by fucking you when ive shit on your face]

Stranger: i'll shit on your's then

You: mmmmmm

Stranger: early in the morning

Stranger: fresh shit :P

You: :D

You: i want you to stunk of shit

You: stink*

Stranger: rub my shit all over your body!

You: and yours too

Stranger: :)

You: do you need a shit?

Stranger: lol

You: do you :P

Stranger: lol

Stranger: yea

You: you should shit there , put some in your pussy and eat some

You: i will shit too

Stranger: :D

You: :D

You: what are you wearing?

Stranger: nothing :D

You: mmmm where are you ?

Stranger: in my room

You: shit on your bed

Stranger: no

You: why?

Stranger: i dont feel like doing now

You: awe :(

Stranger: and what are you wearing?

You: just a t shirt

Stranger: no unders?

You: no im going to shit now

Stranger: where?

You: in my bed

Stranger: what will you do after that?

You: what you tell me too

Stranger: rub it on your sister's face! :D

You: hehe she isnt in :( i would love to then lick her clean hehe

Stranger: can i her call her 'slut'?

Stranger: :P

You: yes

Stranger: and you 'bastard'?

You: no

Stranger: then?

You: call me love

Stranger: i better call you shit :D

You: hehe only if you love me

Stranger: so, how does your sister look like?

You: shes thin tanned blonde hair little tits , a perfect round arse an shaved pussy with puffy pink lips

Stranger: and nipples?

Stranger: color?

You: quite big compared to her tit size pink

You: its coming out

Stranger: lol.. does she fart infront of you?

You: sometimes i guess

Stranger: and do you?

You: yes

Stranger: infront of her?

You: yes

Stranger: how does she react?

You: she hits me hehe

Stranger: lol

You: have you cum yet ?

Stranger: nope :)

You: :P

Stranger: have you seen her shit or piss anytime?

You: no

Stranger: y?

You: becouse its risky

Stranger: she doesnt like it?

You: no

Stranger: ohk

You: are you really this kinky >

Stranger: you dont believe?

You: idk ?

You: ive never met a girl who likes eating shit

Stranger: i've never met a boy!

You: :P

You: your ex ?

Stranger: hez not that interested infact!

You: :(

You: do you think you are a slut ?

Stranger: what do you think?

You: yes :)

You: a pretty slut

Stranger: a girls who talks in open is a slut these days

You: nope a girl who eats shit is hehe :P

You: im one too

Stranger: you're a bastard!

You: hehe

Stranger: i wanna fuck your slutty sister man! :D

You: are you bi ?

Stranger: i can be anything

You: a man ?

Stranger: lol

Stranger: :)

You: are you a dude ?

Stranger: nope

You: hehe

Stranger: what makes you ask such a silly question bastard :P

Stranger: you shitty idiot! :D

You: you want my sister :P

You: you shitty slut

You: :D

Stranger: i imagined her when you told me about her asshole :P

You: :D

Stranger: whats the color of her arse?

You: should i be honest ?

Stranger: yea

You: shes prettier than you , and white with pink arse hole

Stranger: wow!

Stranger: send me a picture of hers

You: no way

Stranger: y?

You: becouse its not right

Stranger: and licking her arse is right?

You: i would only if you sent pics of yourself naked in shit , and yes licking her arse is the best thing i ever did :D

Stranger: i never take such pics of mine

Stranger: it would take me intlo problems

You: exactly i never send my sisters pics

Stranger: and i've already sent my casual pics

Stranger: ok leave it

Stranger: i dont care infact

You: good becouse its a secret

Stranger: ok

You: :)

Stranger: so, you've shit?

You: im waiting for you to say

Stranger: in what color would it be?

You: brown silly

You: hegehe

Stranger: i get yellow at times

You: when your sick ?

Stranger: when i eat haldi type of foof

Stranger: food*

You: cool

You: :)

Stranger: and my farts are too long at times

You: hehe

Stranger: :)

You: :)

Stranger: shit now

You:

You: ok i will shit for you

You: click the link

You: did you do it ?

Stranger: yeah

You: did you watch it

Stranger: is that a video?

You: yes

Stranger: its loading

You: copy paste and open

You: :)

You: press pause let it load a lil while

Stranger: lol

Stranger: i did

You: :)

You: do you like :)

Stranger: is that girl prettier than me?

You: idk

You:

You: i havent seen you shit

You: watch this

Stranger: lol ok

Stranger: i need to go now

You: watch it 1st baby

You: its a min long

Stranger: i'l do

Stranger: ok bye for now

You: bye shitty slut hehe :P

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I confess that I am about sick of you doo doo loving motherfuckers who keep uploading shit festivals. I hate it when I see a thumb of a hot chick and open it only to read that the title is something like "hot lesbian scat babes" or something like that. Here is a lesson for you fuckers: You chew food then swallow, stomach acid breaks down food further, food goes into your guts and is mixed with enzymes such as tucking BILE. Your intestines squeeze the food and extract and absorb water and nutrients as the enzymes and bacteria in your gut continue to break it down, rot it and make it stinky. You then poop and either flush it or bury it or run like hell from it........you don't rub it all over yourself or eat it. Fuck, it's already been eaten once, it's dead, used up, spent. Fuck you shit loving motherfuckers, I wish that I could send you all to an island with a lifetime supply of refried beans and exlax where you could all just eat beans and shit on each other until you either died of liver failure or ecoli. You'd be happy, I'd be happy and the mother tucking shit eating maggots, tumble turds and beach crabs would be happy. Fuck you.

Hello i would like my fellow motherless peeps to prank call this number, his name is cole culver and he's is a douchebag...We tried to help this guy out by letting him stay with us while he tried to get a job..But he ended up eating all our food and stealing shit from us.. sO kicked him out and he moved back to mommy in portland.. So if you guys can help me out by fucking with this guys cell phone like calling ask him if his pussy is laughing?? at all hours of nite.. Calling setting up fake job interviews in portland.. you can usally block your number on a cell phone by hitting *67 before you dial..but he's a pussy so no worries...so again fuck with this guys cell phone please!! thank you

It would blow your mind how many women on Craiglist are willing to cheat on their men with a black guy. They tell me they're willing to do the most disgusting things behind the backs of the men they claim to love.

Inviting "me" or even "me and my friends" to their houses while their man is busy working to put food on the table to fuck in the bed that they sleep. Not giving a shit about the fact that they're just meeting a guy or group of guys and willing to fuck them without a condom and cum inside them.

It's a damn good thing I never planned to get married.

Ok, this is true, but I really don't care if you believe it or not. I'm just sick of reading the obviously fake shit on here.

I'm 39, married, average looking guy, little chunky with a thick but average cock. I'm married, and my wife and I have an open and polyamorous relationship. We're pretty social, and have friends all ages. Last year a couple invited us to a Christmas party.

They are in their mid 20s, with a kid. He owns a bicycle shop in a college town, she's a stay at home mom. Her name is Hailey, she's about 5'2, cute body, B-cup tits. She's constantly perky and always talking. She looks 16. She and her husband know about our lifestyle, but are strictly monogamous. She wants to have "the perfect little family". (eye roll)

She always themes her parties, so this one was Night at the Opera, or something. Everyone was supposed to dress up, but most of her hipster friends didn't. I, however, looked great in my suit, and she looked great in her tight, strapless formal with a slit all the way up the back.

I spent the evening drinking bad beer and cheap champagne, talking with a bunch of 20-something hipsters who couldn't believe I was in my late 30s, had a job, and was actually cool. My hopes of getting laid were dwindling. Suddenly the party vanished around 930 as some ukulele player was at a bar nearby. Hailey and I went to the living room and had a long conversation. She wasn't drunk, but pretty tipsy. She started flirting with me pretty hard. Her husband went to bed, and my wife was just drunk. I was tipsy, but in control. About this time Hailey's friend Kaitlin came over with her boyfriend, she had to work. Kaitlin was just cute, about 5'0, but a little chubby. She was a hipster, so stupid haircut, no makeup and bad glasses. Probably would be really cute if she fixed those. She was in a sparkly sweater, mini skirt and tights. Her boyfriend was a 6'2" black guy, educated hipster type, but an alpha male.

We were all hanging out on their big sectional talking and drinking, when Hailey tells Kaitlin that my wife and I were polyamorous. Instantly, Kaitlin's hand went to my thigh. Her boyfriend says nothing. Hailey then tells me that Kaitlin and her bf have an open relationship. He nods. Awesome! Things are looking up. Things have moved from cheap champagne to vodka. Hailey then insists we move to the chaise section of the sectional. I lean back, kick my shoes off, and stretch out on the chaise. Kaitlin sits right next to me, hand again on my thigh, and her skirt severely riding up. Hailey sits at the foot of the chaise, between my legs facing me. She pulls her dress way up so she can sit cross legged. She's wearing white lacy boy shorts. My wife is sitting on the couch buried in her phone. Kaitlin's boyfriend is sitting next to me not saying much.

Hailey and Kaitlin's conversation turns to sex. The normal girl stuff, nothing too interesting unless you're right there. Both are trying to impress me with their sexual exploits. Boyfriend goes out to smoke. Then Hailey tells me about the time the two of them took a shower together, and how hot that was. I ask if they went further, but Hailey says no. They'd never do anything like that, they're both super straight. She looks at Kaitlin and asks, "Right?". Kaitlin is hesitant. Clearly, she's bi and Hailey has no idea. I suggest they recreate the shower for me, Kaitlin seems eager, but Hailey shuts it down. He daughter's asleep upstairs, and her bedroom is next to the bathroom. Damn. Then, out of nowhere, Hailey gives Kaitlin a long, deep, passionate kiss.

"You've never kissed me like that before," said Kaitlin.

"Sure I have, I kiss you all the time," said Hailey.

"You've never used your tongue."

Hailey just giggles, turns to me and asks, "That was hot, wasn't it?" I readily agree.

My hand has drifted to Kaitlin's thigh at this point. Fucking tights are ruining skin on skin.

Hailey hops up and runs over to her iPhone and plays some dance song. She starts doing a burlesque number for us which then moves to a lap dance for my wife and I. She kisses my wife and grabs her boobs. My wife returns the favor. Then Hailey goes after me, while she doesn't kiss me, she does grab my cock. It's been mostly hard since all this started, and Hailey likes what she felt. When the song is over, she comes back over to sit again. I'm still in the same position, and assume she's going to sit cross legged facing me again. I was wrong. This time she pulls her dress up, climbs in my lap and sits directly on my cock. She even moved around to get it in the right spot. Right then, I wished I had my fly open. Through my pants I couldn't tell if it was her pussy or ass on my cock, but I think it was her pussy.

Kaitlin gets up to go pee and get more vodka. When she gets up her skirt is up all the way. I can see the thong she's wearing clearly through the tights stretched over her fat ass. I'm still on the chaise with Hailey sitting on my cock. We're cuddling, and I do some feeling of her tits, and kissing of her neck. She keeps talking about how wonderful Kaitlin is and how much Kaitlin likes me.

Kaitlin comes back, flashes her thong and tight covered pussy at me, and sits down in the same place. She switches to holding my hand now. Her black alpha male boyfriend comes back in, and surveys the site. Me with Hailey on my covered cock and Kaitlin, skirt up, holding my hand, my wife sitting next to me. He just stands there and talks to us. After a while he goes back out for a smoke, and Hailey goes out, too. My wife goes out for some fresh air, leaving me and Kaitlin alone on the chaise.

I decide this is the best time to make my move. I lean in to kiss Kaitlin, and she eagerly returns the favor. We begin making out heavily. Her hand goes to my cock, and mine goes to her thigh, then ass as she turns more towards me.

Hailey comes in at this moment, she loudly proclaims, "That is so hot!" and sits down to watch. Kaitlin and I continue making out for a bit, then Hailey kisses Kaitlin. Then she suggests we go upstairs.

The three of us go upstairs to the guest room. Hailey reminds us we need to be quiet so we don't wake her kid or her husband. Kaitlin quickly strips off. I mean in seconds, she's naked. She's short and chubby, but everything is firm. C cup tits, big ass, a tummy, but not bad at all. She's got a beautifully shaved pussy, too. Hailey is getting excited, but tell us to wait. She runs downstairs and a couple of minutes later brings up a bottle of vodka, my wife and Kaitlin's boyfriend. My wife kisses me and Kaitlin, tells me to enjoy, but she's too drunk to do anything and heads back downstairs. Hailey strips off her dress and panties, no bra, and starts kissing Kaitlin. She's got a youthful body, small B tits, fairly slender, nice ass, shaved pussy. Just a tummy and some stretch marks from having a baby.

The girls stop kissing and giggle. Then they start undressing me. I'm having the best night of my life! Kaitlin's black alpha boyfriend is just standing there, watching. They get me naked, and Kaitlin immediately drops to her knees and starts sucking my cock and I start sucking on Hailey's tits.

Kaitlin then stands up, kisses me, and tells me she wants me inside her. I tell her to get a condom out of my pants (always be prepared). She gets it, opens it and puts it on me. Hailey then yanks it off me, "No way! You need to cum in her! I want to see you cum in her pussy!" Normally, I don't fuck someone I just met without a condom, but Hailey has a definite plan for her own real life porno, and I'm not going to argue.

Kaitlin goes over to the bed and lays down, again Hailey has a better idea. She insists I fuck Kaitlin doggie so she can get a better view. She directs us into the proper position, and I slide my cock into Kaitlin's tight and extremely wet pussy. Hailey then lies on the bed and gets her face as close to the action as she can, while she plays with her own wet pussy. Kaitlin's boyfriend is still standing by the door, watching.

Honestly, I don't last long. Let's face it, I've been teased hard by these two girls for the past couple of hours and I was ready to blow. Hailey, I guess, can tell I'm about to cum (or she's just got good timing), and she reminds me she wants to see the cum in her pussy. So I back out so just the head is in Kaitlin's pussy and cum.

Hailey is so excited! I slide out all the way, and Hailey hops up and kneels down behind Kaitlin so she can see her cum filled pussy. She insists I kneel beside her so I can look, too. This honestly is my first look at Kaitlin's pussy. It's very soft pink, with tight lips, and now, my cum dripping out. Hailey then dives in, eating my cum out of Kaitlin's pussy. I tell Kaitlin what's happening and she let's out a loud moan.

I'm ready to go again, so I slide my cock, still covered in cum and Kaitlin's juices, into Hailey's pussy as she eats my cum out of Kaitlin. About now, I hear the door slam as Kaitlin's boyfriend leaves. Personally, I was hoping to see his cock come out and fuck the girls, as well.

Hailey continues eating Kaitlin to orgasm, as I fuck Hailey. I cum in Hailey the same way I did Kaitlin, and ask Kaitlin if she wants to eat my cum out of Hailey. She does. I move around and slide my cock in Haley's mouth, as she cleans it off and gets me hard again.

They reposition and Hailey is on her back now as Kaitlin is eating her out. I decide I'm going to fuck Kaitlin's big ass. It's just begging for my cock. I slide it in her pussy a couple of times to lube it up, then I go for her asshole. I slip it in a little at a time, taking it easy. She's super tight and she's moaning and whimpering. It clearly hurts, but she's pushing towards me. Finally I'm in, and I hold it there, all the way in her ass. When I feel her relax, I start thrusting. Slowly in and out. I don't want to hurt her.

Hailey then realizes what's going on and she asks if I'm fucking Kaitlin's ass. I tell her yes, she says, "Awesome!", and runs out of the room naked. I keep fucking Kaitlin, and Hailey comes back a minute or two later. She hops on the bed and lays out 3 glass butt plugs and some lube. I like where this is headed! She takes one, lubes it up and slips it in her ass. It's a cute one with a blue jewel on the end. She takes another one, plain glass, lubes it up, gets behind me and slides it in. It's thick, but goes in without much pain. Feels great when it's in there. It doesn't take long and it pushes me over the edge and I cum in Kaitlin's ass. I'm as deep as possible this time. I pull out, my cock covered with shit and cum. Hailey quickly slips the other plug in Kaitlin's ass. Then they start kissing, and sucking each other's tits.

I go out to the bathroom to clean myself up. My wife comes in to see how I'm doing. Well, I've got a butt plug in my ass, shit on my cock and two naked girls 15 years younger than me in the other room.. pretty fucking good! She's sobered up and is ready to go home. We go back to the bedroom as the girls are still kissing and sucking. We tell Hailey my wife is ready to go home. She says my wife can crash on the sofa if she wants. She decides to go home instead. Hailey says I can stay and she'll drive me back in the morning.

So I stay, and I fuck Hailey one more time, cumming deep in her pussy. I'm pretty wiped out at this point, so I just hang back and watch the two girls fuck and suck each other. It's probably 4 am at this point, and we all pile up in the bed to sleep.

I wake up around noon, sun streaming in the window, and Kaitlin curled up with me. Hailey's not in the room. I start to get up, feeling a sharp pain in my ass. I fell asleep with the butt plug still in, oops. I lift the covers and see Kaitlin still has her's in, too. I slip the butt plug out, it hurts a little, but no damage. (Glass toys FTW) I stretch as Kaitlin wakes up. She turns over and smiles at me, the covers below her tits. She asks me if I want a blow job, and I tell her I need to pee first. She wants to come with me. She gets up and notices the butt plug, too. She slips it out, giggles, we get dressed in case Hailey's kid is around, and we go to the bathroom.

She tells me she wants to hold my cock while I piss, so I let her. I finish and she takes her turn to piss. She reaches for my cock and she suck me off as she pisses. I cum in her mouth and she swallows every drop. She licks her lips and smiles at me. "I never go to do that last night."

We clean up a bit, and head downstairs. Kaitlin lives across the street, so she kisses me and heads home. Hailey's in the kitchen and makes me breakfast. She's wearing a cute little dress, and as she moves around the kitchen I stare at her ass and legs.

He husband took their daughter out to the zoo for the day, so it's just the two of us. She brings me the food, and I slide my hand up the hem of her dress, and squeeze her panty covered ass. I then realize she's still got the butt plug in her ass. She sits in my lap as I eat. She even feeds me while my hand rests on her inner thigh. When I finish, I thank her for the breakfast, and kiss her. She asks me if Kaitlin and I fucked this morning. I tell her she just gave me head. She then takes me upstairs to the guest room again, and we fuck one more time. This is more gentle and loving. Very intimate. Still no condom. As we lay there cuddling, I ask about the butt plug. She says she usually has one in her ass. She started using one after a gay friend told her how much fun they made day to day activities.

We got dressed and she took me home. Hailey and I still fuck occasionally. Her husband doesn't care, and my wife sometimes joins us.

Kaitlin's boyfriend dumped her that day, then moved out of state. He couldn't stand the site of me in her pussy. Kaitlin and I fucked quite a bit for a few months, then she got a job across country. While Kaitlin was a great fuck, Hailey is the one I really wanted. She's got another Christmas party planned this year. I'm wondering who we're going to fuck this year.

I work at a busy McDonalds. I hate my job, my bosses, and the customers. I put shit on my hand and make food all day, no gloves. I spit on everything and stuck my cock in the milkshake.

I was 23 when my best friend died. That shit changes you. No more drugs, minimal drinking, no smoking, dropped religion entirely. Promised myself I'd never wait for "some day".  If I wanted it then plan, save, do. For all I know some texting twat would hit me with her car. So I worked my ass off. I traveled. I worked asi traveled. I checked off the bucket list, added to it, checked more off etc. Life has been an adventure.

Lots of random sex on an international level, no serious relationships. And here I am, 35th birthday, just back from another trip. This time it was a major city.  Decent hotel. Tons of walking. Lots of sights and food and just taking it all in... because I'm still here... and I decided to do something I've never done. I bought a burner phone. Looked up some reviews. Ordered a couple professionals for an hour. I've never paid for it before, also never had an ffm, so fuck it.

If you have the opportunity to do it safely, and discretely, I'd recommend the experience at least once in your life. 2 professionals, absolutely stunning and skilled in physical pleasures, drained my soul from my body. It was a level of bliss I've never experienced before.  Hands everywhere. Fingertips everywhere. Tongues everywhere. Licked, sucked, fucked, one insane experience after anothher. We all collapsed a few times. In the end it was 2hrs, not 1. I went so often, and so hard, thought I'd faint a few times. Don't cheap out, don't scrape bottom barrel. Get a nice hotel, get reputable pros. Worth every penny.

So now several more things are checked off the list. Time to add a few more. On to the next adventure.

I confess that I'm 24 years old and I have had nothing but awful luck with women, but not in the traditional sense. Let me explain; I was raised by a single mother and was brought up to treat everyone with kindness and respect, especially women. But ever since I have lost my virginity I have done nothing but lost any and all respect for women. Four events in particular stand out above the rest, and the first starts with the actual loss of my virginity.

Was your first time awkward and not as magical as you had expected? BECAUSE MINE WAS FUCKING TERRIBLE. I had managed to make it to college without losing my v-card and was pretty embarrassed about it. Admittedly I was a bit of a nerd, before being nerdy was considered attractive I guess, and overweight as well. At 19 I had developed an online long distance relationship with a 24 year old single mother and we had really started to hit it off. I saved up a few paychecks and took time off work so I could go out and visit her. I flew half way across the country and was going to stay with her for a week. I was really nervous and excited because we had talked about it and she was happily going to take my virginity. Once I arrived we got past the awkward "first time meeting in person" phase by going on a casual date for the rest of the day. Later that evening we went back to her place and after a movie and her daughter was put to bed things started to get hot and heavy. We started making out and after a bit I started to eat her out. I made her cum and was shaking all over as I finally got ready to finally lose my virginity. Nothing fancy, we were just going to do it missionary, but as I actually stick it in and start thrusting she begins to cry. Turns out this bitch was still married and had me come over when her husband was away on business for a week. We stopped and I sat stunned and in silence while she finished crying. She told me that she really did want to be with me and that she planned on leaving her husband as soon as he got back. I reassured her it was alright even though I was actually pissed beyond reason, but I didn't want to pass up the opportunity to actually have sex from start to finish. We got back into it and I fucked her 4 times that night. The rest of the week was spent going out from place to place, going on dates and having sex. I even used her husbands shower supplies and clothes while I was there. After that week was over and I flew back home I blocked her from any sort of communication and never spoke to her again.

The second was only a few months later. It was New Years Even and my friends and I decided on having a small get together at my place rather than go out to a rager. My mom even offered to let us drink and made us food as long as we promised that no one would drive. We had a good time just playing video games and hanging out when one of my buddies starts to get absorbed into his phone. After we were all good and pretty drunk I started to tease him about being so reclusive. He told us that he was texting a few girls who wanted to come over and see him. Jokingly I said that he can't invite anyone over unless we all get to get some ass. I thought he was joking back when he said he told them that and they asked for our pictures to see what they'd be getting into. To my shock these two girls showed up at my door about an hour later, one of them being the sister of one of the kids in my grade. One of them was kind of fat but my classmate's sister, we'll call her Ann, had developed quite well. After a few more drinks things got way out of control quick. Two of my buddies resigned themselves to playing games due to nervousness and relationship commitments. While the one who invited the girls, lets call him Joe, took the thicker chick out of sight in the basement and immediately started to fuck her. My other friend and I started to finger and make out with Ann simultaneously, but he backed off because he started to get emotional about his ex. Ann asked me to go slow and told me that her and her friend had decided to ring in the new year by losing their virginity together. She asked me to get a condom so I managed to find one from the bag I used to store my fleshlight that I had bought when I was 18. I couldn't fit inside her because she was so tight and so I really believed that she was a virgin. Luckily I had lube from my fleshlight as well and after that we were fucking hard. I started on top with her lying on the couch and eventually flipped her on top so she could ride me. She was really inexperienced so I told her to move to the floor and get on all fours. I started fucking her doggy style but I kept slipping out due to all of the lube. Stupidly I pulled the condom off and started to fuck her again without telling her. After the second time my cock slipped out I drunkenly shoved it in her ass, and didn't realize it until I tried to rub her asshole with my thumb and realized there was nothing above my dick. If this bitch was telling the truth, which I highly doubt, I took her red and black cherry in the same night. Knowing where I was I came in her ass and laid on my back. This slut started to suck my cock after and I just laughed drunkenly to myself. After our little orgy the girls went home around 6 am and we all passed out. When we woke up we couldn't believe what had happened and at some point had exchanged numbers as well. I started to chat Ann up and found out that we had a lot of common interests. On the day I was going to ask her out I found out from one of my friends that she was dating a kid in our grade that I knew. This kid wasn't a bad kid and I had nothing against him, in fact, he was always quite nice to me so I felt pretty bad about it. (3 days after that night her and her parents came into my job to buy a playstation 3 and a laptop. I had to look her father in the eyes and shake his hand.)

Fast forward to 23. I met this girl on a trip that my class took out of the country. One night we got drunk down town and she and I made out. About a week coming back to the states she messaged me on facebook asking if I remembered. When I told her yeah she wanted to know if I wanted to do more. Eagerly I said yes and we started to hang out more. Now, this girl was nuts and into some really dark shit. Rape fantasies were her favorite and she was into nude modeling and wanted to do porn. (Shes done it by now). We went for like a good 2 weeks just hanging out but didn't do anything. I was still pretty nervous to initiate any sort of sexual advances and still felt awkward. One night after we had drank a little bit in my room she jumped on my bed, smiled and said "come fuck me". I happily obliged and because I knew she was on bc we did it raw dog. This girl was an absolute freak, calling me daddy, telling me to fuck his little daughter like the good slut she is and her face went beat red and ahegao when she came. Never seen anything like it and probably won't again, but man was it good. After a few weeks of fucking and friendship I found out she had a boyfriend as well that she was just stringing along. We still keep in touch but we don't fuck anymore. (Her current bf was with her when she went to get spitroasted at her porn shoot).

A year later I met this girl through a mutual friend. We didn't really talk much but after a few nights getting to know each other at parties we really started to hit it off. A few more months go by and we had fooled around and fucked a lot. I was basically her rebound at the time but I didn't care because we had a lot in common and I finally met someone who wasn't in a relationship. We grew apart for a while but reconnected a few months ago. She introduced me to her new bf and he and I got along pretty well. He was visiting from out of town but had to leave soon. Once he left they started to play games together online and I would hang out while on my laptop, She started to get very handsy and would take her clothes off around me as if we were still intimate like we once were. Eventually she was completely naked and playing her game in doggy position. While her and her boyfriend were playing a ranked match online I fucked her raw. He started to get upset wondering why her character was just standing idle the whole match. They lost obviously. A few weeks later she broke up with him.

I'm at the point in my life where I've never had a successful relationship but have constantly been the object of women's lust who are unfaithful. I've found my respect for women dwindling to nothing and don't think I could even have a stable relationship without thinking that eventually the girl I'd be with would just go and do the same thing to me.

I have been coming for the last week because every time I do that week off of dexedrine, (meth or adderall and I mean desoxyn"... I am hyper but taking 400 mg will get anyone high as fuck... it's speed.

I have taken it my whole life so my heartrate stays fine and everything... my girlfriend loves it... I call in to fuck her all day and we sit around and watch porn because too much of that shit does that.

I still acts like it is treating ADHD and it is the crappiest generic.

The downside, no sleep since last friday and no food either so I am done after this... I am too old have to take 3 weeks off from working out when I do this shit... it feels bad ass... still pumping through... It i funny and dumb and occur once every 6-7 years but it stops me from having them do s lower dose works... but the magnesium and nutritional support needed have to be hard.

I look fine though, not even like whem I did this with Adderall where my face was beet red.

i dont understand why people get so excited about bacon. yeah its good but i couldn't give a shit if it just suddenly stopped existing.

"UHHMERGHUD BACON IS THE BEST FOOD EVER I WANT TO FUCK IT I COULD EAT IT EVERYDAY ITS A REAL MAN'S FOOD"

no.

I am a male and confess I like to piss and shit on food before I eat it.
I enjoy a lot.
Hope I can find a women who likes this too.

BG

Its been a while since something irked me enough to post here. But im pretty irked. So here goes.

You know how people draw Muhammed for shits n giggles? Then immediately get upset at the Muslims who get so offended by it that they want to take a gun to peoples' heads?

Im not a muslim, and i dont particularly like what they stand for. But something i like even less than that is people who refuse to be considerate toward them, knowing full well the consequences of what they're doing. Even worse, they say "I have the right to free speech" like its an excuse to antagonize whoever you want.

Its alot like getting up in a black mans' face and telling him "Fuck you nigger bitch" and then busting a cap in him once he lashes out at you, saying "I have the right to free speech" like its an excuse to antagonize people.

It'd be simpler to say "You poke the bear, the bear will bite".

What i dont understand is, what is so damn difficult about not doing the ONE thing that makes muslim people turn violent? ONE FUCKING THING. YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB. TO NOT DRAW MUHAMMED. MERHAMMERD. MO-HUMID. AND YOU FUCKED IT UP.

I mean, do people even understand where the whole "Draw Muhammed" thing came from?
Wether they want to admit it or not, doing it wasnt even a thing prior to an event in recent history, over a certain TV show. A TV show that whos producers, when met with threats, went ahead and censored it. But nope. People dont care about why something is censored. Only caring that it IS censored.

Drawing Mohammerd is nothing more than saying "I dont give a shit about other people".

It makes me want to rage. People who draw their prophet, and then shit all over them when they get upset, are nothing but a bunch of air thieving retards who are moving humanity back two steps, who do not deserve the right to free speech, since they clearly are incapable of using it non-malliciously.

It should be like street racing. You get too many 'points' on your license, your license gets taken away, because you dont know any better.

I dont brake check people. I dont flip people off while driving.
I dont stick my arms out into the cages at the zoo. I dont even touch food without washing my hands first, if it can be helped.

And i certainly wont draw the prophet Muhammad. Because i know that it apparantly makes a certain people so upset that it makes them want to kill other people.

And you know why i dont do these things? Because i know better. Because i give a shit about other people. Because doing it is tantamount to causing the violence to occurr.

Seriously people. Dont do the equivalent of poking a bear, or brake checking a semi truck. Its stupid. It causes mankind to retrograde. And its pretty damn insensitive toward a very large group of people. People that we know all to well will take to violence when someone does the ONE thing that will almost certainly make them flip.

I dont care what backward ass reasoning you have to try and justify it. You KNOW what will happen if you do it. Have some fucking self control, and dont do it. Otherwise, stop breathing my air. Its not being worth spent on the line about your "Freedoms' that you use to justify your actions.

One day mankind will be able to just get along. But before it happens, we need to learn to respect each other.

But i guess it'll never happen because i have no respect for those who poke the bear, knowing what will happen.

No respect. No respect at all.
"I dont want to live on this planet anymore" - Professor Farnsworth

I should also mention that i've laughed my ass off at some of the drawings of Muhammed people do. Some of them are clever, and not even intended to be malicious. It still doesnt make it right, however. Funny, yes, but not right.

You know, i feel like if i 'preached' about this, stood on a street corner with a sign, and a bullhorn, using my 'right to free speech' to convey a message of fairness and consideration, someone would probably kick my ass. Even though im a natural born citizen of the united states of motherfucking america, and were using my goddamn rights for a GOOD cause.

Anyway, just be considerate toward others. You can claim whatever "White knighting" or "Moral faggotry" you want about it, but its not like bowing in to feminism. Its not like changing everything to be friendly toward animals. Its not even like voting for equality for gays, or protesting against war.

You dont even have to LIKE muslims. Just dont draw their prophet. And make it clear that its got nothing to do with rights or free speech. Its all just about not being an antagonist.

Nobody likes an antagonist. Stop antagonizing people like a nigger.

Give me tasks to watch my get filthy with food, puke, piss and shit xx all tasks will be posted and directly sent to you x the messier the better ;)

I can't stand feminists who feel they are somehow empowered. There is nothing worse then some mouthy broad who is trying to prove they are equal to a man. I don't think we should oppress women, but they need to know their role in society. For example, don't watch and try to tell me how to move heavy furniture. Women's job is cooking food, cleaning the house, bringing men cold beers (and it better be already open). I am not sexist, this is the way it has been for thousands of years. When a caveman walked in the cave from hunting mastodon, they got a BJ for doing the man's work. If it wasn't for the cavemen providing meat we would have all died out. If a cavewomen tried this empowered women shit they would get it in the ass just to remind them that man is the king of this society. They probably got a load on the face too. These days, the best part of a BJ is a damn women finally stops yapping on at mouth. Fuckin women with their emotions! Men join your local No Ma'am!

I have to confess i work at a bar n grill as a dishwasher/pizza cook, and about a month ago my pricipal from highschool came in, i would have never known if it wasnt for the cook who told me he was ordering a pizza. he was a total dick to me at school, i mean a dick he once suspended me for 3 days because i used a bathroom that was located at a less supervised part of the school, and he also came to my house once because i was late (small school and i live like 3 blocks away. i mean small, my graduating class had 32 students) when he did that i told him to fuck off and if he tryed coming inside id pull a shotgun on him, but he still had the balls to come wake me up. granted i wasnt the best student (smoked pot in the bathroom, and shit like that) but he just made everything worse. anyways i ran out to our dumpster which is enclosed in a brick type gate thing, with a paper cup, and shot out a fat load brought it back in real quick spread it on the pizza with a diffrent spoon than put the sause on and his toppings cooked it and even took it out to him saying "hey blank hows it going, enjoy your pizza" all fake and polite like. went back to the kitchen and watched him eat every last piece. it was so fucking satisfing to know that i finaly got the last word. i mean this is the first time i have ever fucked with anybodys food and i plan on making it the last, i take prade in hearing that people like my pizzas but man i just had to do this.

My Dorm Mates GF

I'm a loner. Never cared too much about company. Nevertheless I lived in a shared apartment with 3 other people. I tried to avoid contact as much as possible, staying in my room playing video games when the others were in the kitchen etc.

One day I noticed a toilet bag in the bathroom, which did not belong to any of us 4. It was colorful, so I assumed it was from a girl. I heard chatter from the kitchen, so I went to check if I was right. As you can guess, I was. She was tall, about 6 feet almost. Long blond hair, dark blue eyes (which I didnt immediately see, I didnt look her in the face for long enough), and C cups. I introduced myself, she said her name was Anna. From the way my dorm mate acted around her, I easily guess that they were a couple. After asking basic questions like "what do you study" etc. I made my excuses and went back to my room. She looked so damn good that I wanted to fap, so I went online and looked for porns with girls that look (or atleast have the same body) as her. After I was done, I went to the bathroom to clean myself up. I saw her toilet bag again and thought "I should cum on her brush next time" since it just lay there in the open. But thinking of all the drama that might bring, I discarded the idea immediately.

I dont really know if it was this night or some other night Anna visited, but I sometimes could hear her and my dorm mate fuck at night. She was quite the squeaker. Everytime I heard them fuck I would masturbate to pictures of a girl that looked just like her, imagining me pounding her pussy right now.

Sometimes when Anna came to visit, I would try to flirt with her, when her BF (Jim) was not around. She always reacted reluctantly, so I didnt push too hard. Just saying "You look nice today" or just ask how she is. O/C that did not get me anywhere.

Sometimes Jim went to University the whole day while she stayed in the dorm. On one such occasion, the day went as follows:
I woke up (late). Went to the bathroom to see Annas toilet bag there. I still had morning wood, which got pretty hard then. I tried my best to aim my pee, hard task when you're rock hard. I went back to my room, still with a boner (7 inch) clearly visible in my sweatpants. I had an idea. I made sure my boner was staying hard by stoking myself. Then I went to the kitchen door and looked if Anna was in it. Luckily she was. Sitting at the table, eating her toast. She wore just a tshirt and shorts, I could see the outline of her tits under it. She looked so fucking hot, i became even harder. When she saw me she looked at my face and said Hi, then her went to my bulge and stayed there for a while. I said Hi back. Now the shelf with all my shit is above the table, so I had to stand right next to her to reach my breakfast. I went really close to her mumbling something like "sorry.. I ... sor... I have to... if you dont mind" - here you have to know, Im really tall, so my cock was on the height of her face - and tried to reach my food. She didnt move, so my dick touched her face for a short time before I got my food down. "Sorry again" I said, she smiled and answered "its all good". I was too insecure to have breakfast right beside her while I was rock hard and just shoved my dick in her face, so I went to my room.

After that incident, I thought to myself "next time she visits, I will cover her brush in cum". Some weeks went by without her visiting (she does not live nearby) so I got unsure of my plan.... But when she finally came back I saw my chance.

She arrived at evening, and I did not want to go for it while Jim was in the house. So I waited. Heard them fuck again. I had to wait till morning. But I still fapped that night, for some hours too, cumming multiple times. The next morning I heard Jim leave, so I went to the kitchen again to see Anna sitting there in her shirt and shorts again. O/C I was hard. I went for the "sorry ... " thing again, standing so close to her I thought I could feel her breath. When I reached up and my dick touched her face again, I thought I felt something, so I looked down while taking down my food and just saw her hand retreat from my pants. She didnt really touch my dick, but her hand was at my pants I'm pretty sure. I mumbled "sorry again..." and she also said "sor .. i mean no problem". I sat down with her that morning. We chatted for a bit, but she still seemed reserved. I think she saw how much I was looking at her chest, so she covered it with her arms.
I finished my breakfast, while she was still drinking coffee. When I got up, I saw her staring at my dick again. I went to the bathroom, shut the door and started masturbating. When I was close, I took her brush and sprayed my cum all over it and the wall over the sink. I cleaned up the wall, and looked at the brush again. It was covered in cum. I wanted her to brush her teeth with my cum, but like that she would see it immediately. So I washed some off until I thought it was barely visible. When I came out of the bathroom, she was already standing infront of it, I was so surprised I nearly fell over. "woah you scared me" I said. I thought "did she hear me jack off?" She said: "sorry just want to brush my teeth" and smiled. I smiled back and went to my room. I heard her brush her teeth and was hard again, so I fapped to that sound, thinking of my cum in her mouth.

When I was done fapping I started to realize what I had done. Shit. Did she see it? Did she taste it? What will she say? So I stayed in my room the whole day. I managed to avoid her. When Jim came home though - nothing happend ;-) lucky me. The night went by with me fapping more. O/C. The next day I had breakfast with her again, but didnt push my luck - or my dick - in her face. She didnt mention her brush in any way, so I thought I was safe. She caught me looking at her chest again and ask me: "Do you like my tits? You stare at them all the time!" I blushed, I think my whole face went red and said "sorry, yeah they are nice". I was still looking at them so she said "stop looking please." So I looked at her face instead and smiled. She winked back.
After the breakfast I went into the bathroom again, cum all over her brush again, but I managed not to make a huge mess this time around. I left on a bit more cum this time, before I went out of the bathroom. She was standing in front of it again, and I jumped again. She smiled "again". I laught and went to my room. I wanted to watch her brushing and I could because our bathroom had a window that went to a hall (the hall went to the attic, yes confusing, but real :D). The window itself was opaque but always ajar, so I could peek through the slits. I managed to get to the window without making any noise and looked while she brushed her teeth with my cum. She could have seen me as well, I was visible in the mirror, but I thought she didnt spot me, till the very end. I was not sure if she looked at me for a split second. I hurried back to my room before she came out.

Again I waited the whole day if something was going to happen. Nothing did though.

Next time same procedure, but when she went to the bathroom she left the door open. I could see her from my room, again brushing her teeth with my cum. This time I was sure she didnt see me.

This night, after everyone else went to sleep, I was still awake, reading a book. I heard steps in the hall. Then I heard a soft knock. I wasnt even sure if it was my door, but then it was pushed open. In the hall - Anna, wearing only a big t-shirt. She came in and closed the door before I could say anything. "what the..." she shut me up by putting a finger on her lips. I put the book away and she sat on my bed as said "Be honest, did you cover my brush in cum the last days?" I was shocked, not sure what to answer, and overwhelmed by the direct question I said "Yes..." She smiled at me, and asked "Do you want to see my tits?" I nodded, not knowing what was happening to me. She pulled the shirt over her head and was completely naked. I was stunned. She removed the covers and revealed my rock hard dick - still in my boxers though. She was in control. But not for long. I knew she knew I wanted her. I grabbed her left tit and pushed her onto the bed. "I like to be dominated" she said smiling and added "we have to be quiet, but I'm rather loud, you'll have to silence me."
I had handcuffs under my bed, brought them up and cuffed her to the bed, arms overhead. She playfully shifted her body - as if she would try to break free. I was harder than ever before. I held her down and shoved my dick in her mouth. She willingly started sucking it right away.
I hadnt had sex in a bit, so I was close after just 2 min of sucking. I shot my load without a warning as deep into her throat as possible. She choked a bit but swallowed it all. After she cleaned my dick with her tongue, I took of my boxers and stuffed them in her mouth. Then I went down on her. Her pussy was already soaking, so I licked her clit while putting two fingers inside her pussy. I heard her moaning through the boxers. After a few seconds of fingering, I pulled out the fingers and stuck one into her ass. I did it so fast, her waist went upwards for a second before falling down again. My other hand was massaging her tits roughly. After her ass could take one finger well, I added another. I wanted to spread her. As the second finger went in, I felt her pulsing and gushing in my face. She definitely came. But I didnt stop. She started winding, trying to get me off, but I didnt stop fingering her and licking her clit. When she came the second time, her squeaking was so loud, I was sure it must have been heard by the others. So I stopped and listed, only to hear her panting while everything else stayed silent. I sat up, turned her on her belly, made her go in to doggy position. My dick was so hard, I felt the blood pulsing through it. I started pounding her as hard as I could. Everytime i hit her ass with my body *SMACK*. She was moaning hard, harder than I ever heard her moan. When her pussy thightend around my dick, I couldnt hold back and shot a big load in her pussy. She collapsed, I removed the boxers from her mouth. She was breathing heavily. I uncuffed her and lay beside her.
After a few minutes she went to the bathroom to clean herself up, then went back to Jim.

The End. Want to hear more? :-)

People need to give up on social bullshit morals when it comes to sex. Case in point, Im walking to the train station in the kind of area that is more or less the inner city ghetto. As I'm walking I see a shit load of cops run into some local 'rub-n-tug' near slant town, usual site, a few middle aged Jewish businessmen, a few whites and a shit load of fresh of the boat asian whores. As the cops are loading them up a few 'civic' minded on looker's said the same tired bullshit.
'dont those men know those girls are sex slaves?!?!?!' this came from a fat wife who's husband is at the one across town. A few others went on about 'what kind of world do we live in?' or 'when i was a kid these places didnt exist'. Than it happened, the moment every cop slips up and actually speaks his mind, 'this is a waste of my fucking time' no one else saw him say that but me, than he gave me this look. The kind of look you get when you catch something doing something really stupid. He gave me a hard look than went back in the building, i knew why he said it. CAUSE HE WAS BEING HONEST.
Do whores really make the world a fucked up place? Women have been selling their bodies since the dawn of fucking time, for money, food, clothes, safety, by choice, by slavery. That is built into our minds and secretly no one really has a problem with it, it's getting caught is what sucks. I am sick and fucking tired of people thinking we have some how evolved so morally in the last 60 years we seem to forget the fucked up history prior to 1950. I don't care what your into, women, men, teens, chickens, pumpkin pie I DONT GIVE A FUCK. Just stop lying to yourself that nothing has really changed so much.
Take the asian massage parlors (ANYWHERE) that get busted, once upon a time everything was worked out, believe it or not at one time our country had a strange sense of order. People want to fuck and when you have a demand you need to make a supply. These guys who get busted on dateline, maybe the laws of probability worked for a bunch of people than some random white girl from an actual well off family meets some old slob and pops her crab apple, some journalist sniff's out a good story and turns it into a national computer lock down. (We will forget all the laws his 'expert team' broke) Than this journalist milks the same thing for 7 years until it turns into a joke, nine years from now the same thing will happen cause everyone in america seems to fail history class by the millions.
Social Taboos are such a joke, if you want to smoke a joint while a thai hooker is licking your balls while your downloading Call of Duty, than do it.

I would love for Master to lock me up in a kennel with five big horny doggies for a long weekend with nothing but dog food and dog cum to eat. (Although I have to leave the dog food for the dogs... Maybe just their cum. And their piss. And their shit. Whatever they deem I deserve.)

Once while shopping at Save on foods I seen a older female riding on one of those scooters and a young girl riding on her lap(she was wearing a little black dress) nothing out of the ordinary right... Well the second time I seen them we where in the produce section and the lady stopped to pick out some corn on the cob the little girl (she would have been 5 or so)got off the scooter and and sat on the floor right in front of me and holly shit she didn't have any panties on she just sat there playing with her toes totally exposing her bald hairless pussy in the middle of the store. Neither one paid any a tension to anyone around them.

Ok lots of requests...

submit more like this!

1:30 is too short...longer version of this video anywhere?

01:30

9678A2

littlemissyfromidaho 115K

there was a video where they are in a car (taxi I think) and the guy in the back rapes the chicks (one at a time, like 2-3 girls that he does it to the in entire video) when they get in and the driver just drives around...asian, and when done with one particular girl for some reason he throws her out into the street nude while the car is moving

last one...white schoolgirl in uniform is walking down the road when two guys run out of their house, get in their car, and drive away. the girl goes inside the house (left unlocked)and uses makeup, eats food n shit, they come back and threaten to call the cops. she says she will do anything as long as they don't call the cops, so obviously they fuck her...can't remember what else happened.

All on this site but I can't find them...second request I would especially like to get.

so i wanna fuck this fat chick i have class with, she is always going out of her way to show me her tits, brings me food, and finds ways to accidentaly grab my leg.... but my girl would shit if she found out, any suggestions? i love college

I fucking hate anime. I'm not talking about hentai, that's just cartoon porn with giant breasts and less-than-consensual tentacle action. Nothing wrong there.

I hate anime. And I'm so tired of pretending to not hate it just to appease nerds. I mean, why the fuck does every single one feature a fucking ten year old saving the world and/or a plot that requires mushrooms and copious notes to follow?

I won't ask why the Japanese like anime, they're all nucking futs. And I get why pedos dig it, but why the fuck do so many ugly girls and bicurious fanboys eat this shit up? Is it because all the dudes are drawn like David fucking Bowie? And why must I be denied quality cartoons on Adult Swim in favor of this shit every Saturday night? And what's the deal with airplane food?!

-end rant-

I confess that I picked up a street walker once. I read in the paper there was a lot of prostitution in a nearby neighborhood and I got curious. I get there one night and drive around. Just the usual homeless and some people walking around. Where were all the damn hookers? Once I saw a girl who was obviously working, but she got picked up before I got there. Two hours into my search, I pulled up to a gas station to take a piss. I come out and I see this gorgeous little blonde teen going down on some asshole in the truck parked next to me. I decided to wait for him to finish and pick her up after he drops her off. Twenty fucking minutes later, he finally leaves. Then we're at an intersection and the asshole drives through right as the light changes. I almost follow when I see a cop in another lane. Shit. So after almost four hours round-trip (in what was supposed to be hotbed of whores) I call it a night.

A couple days later I come back in the afternoon. I read up on the topic before I left (yeah, I'm a sad nerd) and discover that street hookers often aren't dressed like hookers. You can spot them by looking for women randomly walking around like they're lost, carrying a lot of shit like bags and sweaters and food. Sometimes shifty looking guys (drug dealers/pimps) follow them around. Looking back I realize I missed a bunch of them that first night. 30 minutes of driving around again and I still don't see much. I stop at another gas station.

Finally, I spot a fat woman with a bad complexion carrying a jacket over her shoulder and looking around the station. She sort of stops and eyes all the guys filling up. Nobody meets her gaze so she moves on. I pull out and stop ahead of her down the street. She's asks me if I'm "looking for a girl". Sure I am. She asks if I'm a cop. "No I'm not" (WTF kind of pointless question is that?). She gets in and is even uglier up close. At least 45. Fuck it. I'm on a mission. She tells me were to go. Asks me if I'm a serial killer. (Huh?) and then grabs my cock to prove she's not a cop. I didn't ask. I grab her fat tit. We're friends now.

I pull into a restaurant parking lot. 20 for a BJ, 40 for BBBJTCIM. She expects money up front. I pay her 40. Worst goddamn blowjob of my life. It's like she was trying to circumcise me with her yellow fucking teeth. I could barely stay hard. I'm paranoid about getting spotted so I look around while saying "less teeth" over and over. I see some other guy getting a BJ from a hot young hooker in the next car. Again. I obviously suck at picking up street whores. 10 minutes go by and my hooker gets impatient. "Are you gonna cum or what?" I tell her to forget it. I drop her off by a bunch of drug dealer thugs and the bitch asks for payphone money. Who the fuck uses payphones anymore? I give her 50 cents just to get her out. She leans on the car door and tells me to look for her next time I'm around. I silently pledged to never return.

The TL;DR lesson? Stick to asian massage parlors.

I think the lottery is a great thing, today 4 people won 1448500$/1095166�
Life only counts on money, without money you have shitty life quality.
Poor people is not happy people, even tough they are good at hiding it does not mean they like having barely enough money to eat food.
In this world the rich gets richer and the poor is working their ass off, the fucking politicians is making sure of that! Don't tell me they are working hard, they don't even know how to make things better, they just make new laws to drain peoples pockets and throwing propaganda at us telling it will be better. And if not, they just change the law, or as they usually do put more laws for us to handle.
Tell me your thought about your country and the benefits/disadvantage, my country is Norway and it is only daddys boys running the country, afraid to do shit.

I've worked part time in the same pizza place for 3 years now fri & sat nights only when its busy. Its in the centre of town so we get all kinds of drunk girls stumbling in flashing tits and thong ass for free food (we usually just give them the shit we'd throw away anyway) and it's all good fun, the main reason why I do it.

Last night at about 1am we get 3 absolutely shit faced girls come in all bitching about how hungry they are and how they dont have any money, just begging for food basically. After about 5 mins of banter and flirting I said I'd make one of the girls a 10" if they all showed tits. So they did - fucking awesome, they were all very big girls and loved it that they were getting something for nothing.

So I kept my end of the bargain, as I'm putting the sauce on the base one of the girls said would I make 2 pizzas if they showed tits again, i said no I'm gonna need more than than (expecting a bit of ass flashing) and to my surprise she said she'd give me a blow job. I didn't take it seriously at all coz her friends were laughing too much but then she crawled under the counter to my side and grabbed my balls.

Her friends were laughing like witches but curiously watching, they thought she was joking too. I walked out to the back and stood by the partition got my cock out, washed it under the tap for a few seconds and before I knew it I was getting sucked off!

BEST WORK NIGHT EVER!

I think the real problem with this country is that were not violent enough. Seriously we've been turned into a jackass who likes to carry a big stick but won't use it.

1) Gang violence, the cops need to start killing more of them. Give the cops more accurate guns and better training. So when some gang members shoot at them, the cops can shoot to kill. If some gang kills a cop, then cops quietly removes the gang from the picture. If someone shoots at a cop, the cops should drop the fucker for good. This will save us tons of money, less court cases, and less assholes in jail.

2) The US/Mexico boarder. Ok you know what it isn't that hard to get legalized, so I have no sympathy for illegal immigrants, ans that's all of them not just the Mexicans. I say clear and flatten the area along the boarder for a good mile, so anything moving can be seen. Then shoot anything moving on sight. Also there are numerous tunnels dug under the border used to smuggle people and drugs. These would easily be found with modified radar. I say send a crew out to find them, when they do, drill a hole and drop in some explosives. Do this every couple months.

3) Bring back Black Ops. The military is now run by politicians, and that's a problem. We should have taken care of Saddam back in the first war. Send in a couple well train guys, and cause an accident in one of the nuclear sites. Same with N. Korea, when the crazy ass p******** of theirs visits the Nuke refinement facility, there is an accident. The evil dictator and his weapons factory are all gone. If we want to get rid of a Dictator, send a sniper to simply shoot him in the head. Then when his replacement gets out of line, shoot him in the head. and keep on shooting them in the head, until they learn the lesson or someone decent gets into power.

4) String up the pirates. Those fucking Somalian pirates. Take a que from the Russians, the pirates captured a Russian ship, so the Russians send a battle ship and took the ship back. Guess what not a single pirate made it back to shore alive. And I'm pretty sure no more Russian ships been messed with. If the bloody Pirates want to fuck with us, then lets play. Send out ships that look tempting, but have heavily armed soldiers. When the Pirates try to board, kill them all, and take their shit. Rinse and Repeat. This goes for any pirates really.

5) Get our dick out of everyone's business. Come on, you know part of the reason we're so far in debt, it's because the US military is pretty much the UN forces. Last I heard we foot the majority of the bill for any UN military action. I hate to say it, but let everyone else worry about their own problems. The US has all the major problems of a 3rd world country. People are starving in our country, and we are shipping food out, and the government is paying farmers not to grow food. Be buy our oil from the Middle East, from people who don't like us that much. While at the same time, we are selling our Oil to other countries. We have a huge stock pile of oil beneath us, enough to last beyond our grandchildrens lifetimes, yet we let it sit there. We can get oil with just about zero pollution, barring major accidents. Minimal impact on the land yet we don't. Foreign countries can drill for oil off our coast line closer then our own companies. Enormous new oil fields were found off the coasts of South America and Africa, possible a single field that stretches the ocean, and the US is the only country currently with the technology to drill for it. Oil seeps into the ocean normally, some reports actually claim it exceeds what was leaked from the Gulf of Mexico spill last year. If we drilled our own oil and stopped buying it from the Arab nations, hell we could even sell some our selves. Gas prices would drop drastically and the economy would improve. But it's not big oil that's the problem it's the government. The federal government taxes gas sales. The higher the cost of gas the more they get in taxes, so it's in their best interest to keep them high.

Ok I'm too tired to think or rant anymore. so begin your insults.