I'm a dumb whore.
Like, truly. I hate thinking for myself. I hate making decisions. It's too hard. I let my boyfriend make all my decisions. He votes for me, tells me what to eat, tells me what to wear, tells me who I can be friends with. It's so much easier and I am so much happier not having to think.
The one issue is I'm also a sex addict. I'm mostly a good girl. But I consistently want to fuck anything and everything. I feel bad about it because it isn't like he isn't enough. We have sex most days of the week. I masturbate every day. I love him. But I want to meet men and women in public and let them do whatever they want to my body. Sex is all I think about, I find myself thinking about how to put myself in a position to get fucked or even at this point, assulaulted. Which I know is fucked up.
He would never share me with another guy. Which I get. But I don't know how to stop acting like a bitch in heat constantly. I feel guilty but...part of me doesn't care. I want to be better. But I feel like I'm going to jeopardize my relationship eventually if I can't get it under control. I've been trying to for a long time and it just gets worse and worse.
