I agree completely, unfortunately it's just like any other addiction, you keep trying to recover that first feeling trying to get back that first time but it never feels quite as good as you remember it did. So then you start fantasizing even experimenting trying to find something that will bring it back or even close. If I may make a suggestion, something you might not have thought about or even considered before because of the stigma attached to it. Have you ever tried anal on yourself? Not particularly fucking your ass or letting someone else, but something more like butt plugs or a vibrator? Most people won't because they see it as gay or a line they won't cross but (speaking from experience) if you do try it and are able to hit the right area, the back of your prostate, you can actually intensify your orgasms or even give yourself orgasms that will blow your mind without ever touching your cock. I would suggest trying that next time you fuck your wife in the ass, the results may amaze you and give you a more intense ending than you've ever had. That's something I've learned chasing my addiction getting off...
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