I like trannys. I love the taboo of lifting up a skirt, seeing a dick and the sucking it.

Saturday night, being alone, horny and bored I surfed the casual encounters section of Craigslist under T4M. Found a tranny in my area who was looking for a no strings attached hook up. This one was also a VERS (top and bottom) and that was something I had been wanting to experience. Wasn't sure if I was ready to get pounded, but I at least wanted the option.

I got there, was invited in and as we talked, tranny told me that there was a spouse. I was nervous at this point and that said spouse was home. I was nervous. No advanced warning, I wasn't exactly quiet. The marriage is open and the spouse was told that I was coming over and why. So I was a bit calmer. Then I was asked "Do you want to meet my wife?" I wasn't expecting that question, but I agreed because I know some people in an open marriage want their spouse to meet their fling as a sign of honesty or something.

She entered the room and come to find out, the spouse was another male to female tranny. That was also unexpected, but what ever. So the three of us talked, then the spouse asked "Aren't you here to fuck my wife?"

I answered "Yes, I just was waiting for you to leave."

"You think you two are going to have sex and I get nothing?"

By this point my dick was about to tear through my pants. I thought she was still screwing with me, but part of me knew she was serious. I was about to ask another question when she said "Either get on with it or leave."

That's when I felt a pair of lips on my mouth. The tranny I met on line and I started kissing and undressing each other while the spouse watched. I have been watched before, but those were times when I was having sex with a woman. Here someone was watching me, and stroking themself while I sucked a dick.

This was suck a turn on that I came while I was on my knees. I was rubbing myself while sucking and getting dick slapped. I wasn't ready to be done just yet, and neither were they. I stood up and was ordered to bend over the arm of the couch. I watched as the tranny picked up the bottle of astroglide. Her spouse was now in just a bra. Her nightie was removed sometime before and her dick was in her hand. She was passable transvestite, no hormones, perfectly working dick.

I felt the dick head against my asshole and slowly my asshole opening up to accept it. I was getting it, my first time, bareback. My dick was hardening again.

I felt the dick slide out of me and felt the cum on my back. I then looked up to see the spouse come towards me, stroking her dick. I watched as she came over my face.

I laid on the couch, stroking myself as they watched. I asked them to call me a "cum covered faggot", and as they did I came on their floor.

I drove home in a bit of shame...and still get hard thinking about it.

I have wanted to post my confession for a while, but have never had the balls to do it. I found this site on my dads PC and I know he likes to read confessions. I think he may guess this is me but I am going to take the chance. I am even going to use my real name just to add to the risk, I know you will all say I want to get caught and maybe I do I still don't know myself.
I am Kelly and I am 20 years old, I am very blonde and also very short only 4 foot 10 inches tall, I am slim but my breasts are small too, almost nothing really but I have learned to live with it and yes I would like bigger but unless I win the lotto that isn't going to happen. I have always been quite shy and did not lose my virginity until I was 18 and it was not the best time I have ever had, but that is not my confession.
My confession starts around a month ago, and it all started very innocent. I was visiting my friend Karen, I met her last year at work and over time we became good friends. She is older than me 34 but unlike me she is very outgoing, she would drag me out to clubs and she acted more like my age than I did, she is married and her husband Mark is very easy going and let her do pretty much anything she wanted. Anyway getting back to my confession I was at her house and we were having a few glasses of wine, well more like a few bottles. She started talking about sex and she knew my sex life was very limited but this time she just kept talking and asked if I wanted to see some naked pictures of Mark, I went very red and she didn't wait for me to answer, she pulled out a box full of pictures not just of him but also of her. She laughed and told me not to be shy, she handed me some pictures of Mark, he was naked and his cock was hard and my god it was big. She handed me more and some were him shooting cum and the more I looked the wetter I was getting. She showed me pictures of him fucking her and then of him fucking another woman, that got me thinking and I asked who she was, she told me she was an old school friend and then the next picture Karen was sucking her nipples. Now I had thought about sex with other women before, what girl hasn't? but even with the internet I had never really looked at pictures of girls doing it. As I looked at more, I was really getting wet. Now what happened next I can't tell you if it was an accident or not, but Karen stood up and spilt her wine right over my top and skirt, she said I should get out of them and she would put them in the washing machine, before I could say anything she had pulled my top over my head, I didn't resist and stood up and took my skirt off, all I was wearing after that was a pair of very un sexy panties, no bra because my breasts are so small. Karen came back in and she was naked, it was then it dawned on me that she had spilt the wine to get me naked. She said it was so warm anyway and asked if I minded the nudity, I shook my head and took a big drink of wine. She saw my panties were wet and she smiled and said I was over dressed. I stood up and pulled them off before I had time to think about it. She said wow, she say I was not shaved just trimmed. She asked If I wanted to see a video of Mark and her, it was about now I knew where this was going. She put the DVD on and right away I saw her sucking his monster cock, and as we watched I saw her fingers go to her pussy and then it cut away to Mark fucking another girl, this time the girl was around my age and his cock was in her ass, I couldn't look away, I noticed my had had gone to my own pussy and was gently rubbing my clit. As I watched Karen put her hand on my thigh, I froze and I don't know why but I moved my hand away and she put her hand in its place. I sat back and she pushed my legs open, from that time on I was in her power, she pushed her finger in and it was soon replaced by her mouth, I have no idea how long she was licking me but her tongue was doing magic things to me, then it hit me my first ever orgasm done by someone else and it was a big one and it just kept coming. When it stopped she moved up and kissed me, a full on kiss my hand went to her pussy and my finger slid deep in, I just knew what to do, it was like something had clicked in my head. We kissed and touched fir a while and then came up for air. She asked if I was OK? all I did was nod and smile. We drank a little more and I was so relaxed I never heard Mark come in, He laughed when he saw us and said to Karen that she had managed to seduce me then. Karen jumped up kissed him and started to undress him. In under a minuet he was naked and I saw that monster cock for real. He was semi hard and she led him over to me and took my hand and put it on his cock, it was so thick my small hand couldn't go all the way round. Karen told me to turn over and get on my knees on the couch, she opened my legs and I felt his cock at my pussy then it went in, my god even though I was very wet he really had to push and it hurt a little, he pushed it all the way in and slowly at first started to fuck me, i felt a finger at my ass and then Karen's started to lick my ass as he fucked me. He got a little faster and Karen stopped licking and stuck a finger in my ass, I have no idea how long it lasted but he exploded in my pussy and I fell forward on the couch feeling exhausted. We played around licking and sucking for a while and I must have fallen asleep because I woke the next morning still naked on the couch with Karen next to me. I had no idea where my clothes were, I got up and went to the kitchen to get a drink. I found my clothes washed dried and folded, I dressed and left a note for Karen

I got home and my dad asked me where I had been and why I had not called I told him where I had been and he was happy that I was safe. I wonder if he will read this :)

this is the story of my first gay experience. One day my gay friend, who i had recently come out to as bi, decided to hang out and work out at his home gym. after getting hot and sweaty, he told me that i could use his shower so i went into his bathroom, leaving the door unlocked because we were the only two in the house. A few minutes into showering, my friend crept into the room and undressed without me noticing. When he stepped into the shower I realized he was there and asked him what he was doing. He told me that he didnt believe that i was bi, and wanted to prove it. so, extremely turned on by his naked body and big cock, I started making out with him and holding his strong body. We started jacking eachother off and he told me to go down. i got on my knees and took his hard throbbing manhood in my mouth. i sucked him off and let him cum in my mouth, swallowing the entire hot load. then he told me to fuck him so i shoved my raging hard cock inside his tight hot ass and started ramming him. It so was so much better than being with a woman. After I unleashed the biggest load i ever had inside him, we switched positions and i felt his giant cock inside me. it was such a strange, yet amazing feeling. When he had finally finished inside of me, I kissed him and told him that he was right, that i wasn't bi, i was completely gay.

I confess I just got a blowjob from my girlfriend while we watched the woman across the street getting undressed. We're hoping she sees us next time.

Sometimes when I get bored and there is a spam ad with a woman in tight fitting clothes, I can't help but to artistically undress them in Photoshop.

About 6 months ago my daughter took me out to the bar to celebrate my 60th birthday. We had dinner and was enjoying some drinks when one of her childhood friends came in and she invited her to join us. Erica was a very attractive woman in her mid 30's and has an amazing set of tits on her. My daughter suggested we all leave and go back to my house to smoke some weed. Erica said she hasn't smoked for years that her husband didn't like her doing it but agreed to go with us.

The girls stayed up talking and smoking while I went to bed. My daughter had to drive back home the next day and I had the house all to myself again.... Later in the evening I heard a knock on my door and it was Erica and she asked if Kathy was home.. I told her she had left but could come in if she would like...She walked and I offered her a drink and asked if she had fun the night before. She said yes and asked if I had any more weed... We started smoking and talking and she said she really missed getting high...I told her she could come over anytime and it would be our little secret...She laughed and thanked me.

In a couple days she came back over and we got high again. She started asking me why I never got married again after my wife passing away 10 years prior and I just said I haven't found the right person yet. She continued saying it must be hard living alone for all these years and I said it was but I survive. She starts talking about her marriage saying her husband hasn't touched her for months. I told I couldn't believe that and that it's been since my wife passed since I've been with a woman. She thanked me for the weed and talking with her and I told her to come back over anytime.

A week went by and she showed up again wanting to get high. We smoked and was talking when I felt her hand on my leg, It startled me at first but I didn't mind. She said she had been thinking about me being alone for all these years and wondered if there was anything she could do for me. I didn't what so say but just that I was okay.... She looked at me saying she wanted to thank me for talking with her and getting her high and her hand moved to my cock!!! She started opening my pants saying I bet you miss this and pulls my cock out...I taken by surprise but its been so long since a woman touched my cock I didn't stop her. She stroked me and soon had her mouth wrapped around my cock making me cum in no time!!!

A month went by and she showed up again wanting to get high and again sucking my cock. But this time I started touching her and taking her top off to see her gorgeous tits!! She finished me again got dressed and left.

Another two weeks went by till she returned but this time I wanted more!! I started touching her getting her tits out again and putting my hand down her pants feeling her moist pussy. She had my cock in her hand as I opened her pants and she pushed them to the floor. I fingered her as she stroked my cock and soon had my face between her legs tasting her juices while she sucked me off again!!!

Being 60 my cock doesn't last as long as it used to but the next time she showed up I wasn't to waste time.... She walked in and I just started undressing her and licking her pussy...After she cum on my face a few times I was hard and I just stuck my cock inside her. It felt amazing being inside a womans pussy again and I shot my load inside her....We sat naked together and smoked and she said she didn't mean for this to go that far that she just wanted to help me out a little. I apologized and said I couldn't myself and just wanted to fuck her.

I haven't seen her now for over a month but hope she comes back over someday

My DP partner and I got invited to a house party last night for NYE with about 50 people there. We got there around 6 already buzzed and so was most of the party. Unfortunately we saw someone there we had DPd before with her new boyfriend. It was really awkward at first but she came over and introduced him to us. We shook his hand and she pulls me aside and asks us if we'll fuck her again while he watches. Uhhhh yeah sure I guess I respond. I give my buddy a heads up and she leads us to an unoccupied bedroom with a fouton. We're in the middle of DPing her and I feel a tap on my shoulder. It's her boyfriend and he's got another couple from the party that wants to join us. I see that the it's the couple that owns the house and they tell us that Brianna(the woman we're already fucking) told them about her experience and it's always been something that they wanted but didn't want to use Craigslist or a stranger. Mind you we DPd Brianna only for one night and I got her pregnant(didn't keep it) because I didn't wear a condom when I came(I took it off and the reason for the awkwardness). I told the couple that we will come inside her and they needed to be okay with that and they were. I pulled out of Brianna's ass to watch the wife undress and as soon as her panties hit the floor she's mounting my cock. She was so much tighter than Brianna and she knew how to work my cock without me doing anything. Her husband is just standing there stroking his cock and I motion him over to put it in her asshole. This guy had a giant cock and I could feel it slide inside her already cramped pelvis(she was easily only 5 feet tall and 100 pounds. She came in the first 10 strokes and holy shit did she gush everywhere. After about ten minutes of him just punishing her asshole she started working both of our cocks together and I tell her that I want her to sit on her husbands cock while I try to make him come while fucking her pussy. I know that he's on the verge of cumming so she fits his cock inside her ass and leans back to present her beautiful pussy to me. I immediately started to fuck her as hard and fast as I can and after about 2-3 minutes she has a quivering orgasm which makes him and me cum. I pulled out and before she can get off of her husband my partner is inside her. I sit down on the fouton to recover and I'm just watching all of the fucking going on. Brianna and her boyfriend started fucking next to me and she starts blowing me to get me hard again...it works.
I got behind her and started fucking her asshole which made her boyfriend cum. She's disappointed because she's almost there so she slides him out and I slide in. I remembered that I wasn't about to cum in this girls pussy again and risk her getting pregnant again but she felt so good that I didn't care and I fill her up. I hear my buddy cumming inside the wife and Brianna notes that it's 1130 so we go watch the ball drop. Brianna cleaned up before but Andrea(the wife) just pulls down her miniskirt, fixes her top and hair and heads out full of cum.
We watch the ball drop, enjoy the music and I'm watching Andrea look sexy as fuck. I call Ryan over and tell him I had a great time but I didn't get to try out her asshole like everyone else did. He tells me to go upstairs and he'll send her up. I tell him to send her over and she can lift her skirt up in the back. He smirks and goes to tell her. She comes over and she tells me that she doesn't like the idea but I assure her that if she looks like she's just dancing with me, my buddy and her husband no one will notice. She complies and I slide out through my zipper and into her asshole. The two other guys run blocker as she proceeds to work my cock until I pull her hips to leave a balls deep creampie. She started to slide her skirt down and my buddy is inside her for the next 15 minutes. The husband wants a turn but she says she's too soar so he fills up her pussy instead. Finally she's able to pull down her skirt and we can see our cum running down her legs as she makes her way to the bathroom. We say goodbye and tell them thanks and to tell their friends. Here's to hoping for new and exciting holes to fill up this year.
Anyone else have any other stories?

I got divorced almost three years ago. I am a female, in my late 30s, and I have been married for 15 years, so I married young.

He was my first, if you dont count a few innocent hs pettings, and our sex life was pretty non existent, for the last few years of marriage. I have relived myself, many times, and eventually got sucked into the world of erotic forums, porn sites etc.

After we split up, my libido just jumped through the roof, and my online addiction sky rocketed. I wanted sex so badly, I have caught myself having these indecent thoughts about men around me, at work, at the supermarket etc.

Why didnt I do anything?

I am affraid. I have had sex with only one man in my life, and I guess I was insecure, so I stayed locked inside this cage I have built for myself.

Through all this, I started chatting with this man, some ten years younger than me, via this erotic forum. It became a form of hotting, with words at starters. Then I sent him some photos of me, without face and clothed, he sent me his, and he is a handsome, handsome man, so handsome, that I have wondered what such a good looking man is doing sexting a woman like me.

It evolved, i sent him some bikini photos, than partial nudes, and full nudes at the end, and eventually we saw each other on cam.

It was so sexy. He was raining down on me with compliments, throughout all of this, how beautifull I am, how hot I am, and such things are nice to hear. LIttle digression - I know I look good, and my looks werent the obstacle for me to find someone to have sex with - it was the other issues, I discussed earlier.

So we continued with this for more than 6 months, and it was hot, so intense. He was so good at describing things, it was like living through an audio version of the best erotic story ever written. Him, talking, made me climax every time, but looking at him through the camera didnt hurt either.

And he was obsessed with my behind, always asking for me to show it, and if I did, he would climax almost immediately. He would always tell me how he wants me from behind, or in a reverse cowgirl etc, and it got me appreciating that part of my body, and I did become aware that it does look good for a woman of my shape and size.

Long story short, after almost half of year of this, one day he sends me a message that he is coming to my country on business (we both live in Europe - different countries), and that he will be in such and such hotel, room number ..., and gives me his telephone number, for me to call him, so we could go out for dinner and, who knows.

I decided not to go, not to call him, it was all fun, but one thing is a fantasy through the weil of some anonymity, and this would be something completely different.

I was fighting myself on this one, I wanted to go, but I was scared, really scared that I will ruin it, by meeting him. You have got to understand, this was a kind of a relationship for me, something I was looking forward, seeing him online.

He was staying there for three nights. On the second night, I called him at 1 a.m. My voice was... I was scared. Asked him if I can come over to his room.

An hour later, I was there, in leather pants (god, what was I thinking), and a bottle of wine. We started going at each other immediately, we were both so desperate. He ripped my blouse off of me, and went for my breast right away. I was on fire, ready to go, like I have had hours of fore play.

And as we started to undress, I remembered his fixation, so as he was laying on his back, I got on top of him, kissed him, then turned the other way. I have never had sex in this position, so I was a bit scared, but ready to go. He had a condom on... And he came after no more than 20 seconds.

My dissapointment was inmesurable. He did try to get me off, afterwards, but wasnt good at it, so I faked it. I excused myself, and lied to him that I will see him again tomorrow, and told him it was good, it was all I was hoping for.

Never saw him again, not in real life, nor online. But this awkward experience was an eye opener of sorts. What was I affraid of?

Two weeks later, I met a man of my age, also divorced, like me, and I am having the best sex of my life.

I think this whole experience helped me understand a few things about myself. And one thing is for sure, I lost years of my life, living of sexual scraps, from my husband, later on, from online erotica, but nothing beats the real thing, when it is done right.

So, about a year ago I answered a mw4m craigslist ad in a city that I was going to be traveling to for business. I�d had a bi MMF fantasy for way too long and thought this would be a good way to fulfill it.

For several weeks leading up to my trip, we traded pics and emails. They were an attractive, well-educated couple who�d done things like this pretty regularly for a couple of years. I�ve had my fair share of sex, but never in a multiple partner situation, and never with another guy. I was, however, pretty �bi-curious� and had cammed with guys before.

Anyway, fast forward to the trip and meeting them. I was going to be in their town for 3 days and they wanted us to hang out every night. We met the first night at a bar for few drinks to loosen up. About 45 minutes in, �Sue� got an emergency call from work and had to leave. I thought our plans were about to fall apart, but she suggested that �Jon� and I go back to their house, hang out and wait for her to get back.

We get back to their house just as a young woman and little girl are walking out the front door. He jumps out of the car and runs towards them. I hang back a little. He hugs the older one and kisses the younger on the forehead and they get in a car and start to leave. He motions for me to come on in and explains that it�s his daughter and her sitter/nanny who only lives a few blocks away. The daughter is going to be staying at �Nicole�s� for the next three days and they�d come back to get a few things that �Jenny� had forgotten.

Once inside, he asks me what I think about his wife after having met her. I tell him she�s gorgeous, which she is. He says, �Did I send you the vid of her stripping and playing with herself? She loves for guys to see that beforehand.� I replied, �No.� �Well let�s go watch it before she gets home!� he says.

About five minutes into the vid and I�m hard as a rock and can�t wait to see her in person. I�m dying to stroke myself when Jon asks, �Are you hard?� I nod. �Can I see?� he says. He stands up and starts undressing and suggests I do the same. I just follow his lead and take off whatever he does. We�ve seen each other naked in pics, but I�m still pretty nervous I guess.

We�re both naked now and just sort of standing there. I look back at the vid just as she�s spreading her pussy lips and showing her clit. My dick twitches a bit and he says, �She�s gonna love that inside her!�

I look his direction and down at his, which is also hard. He steps towards me and touches my dick. I flinch a little but like it. I reach down and touch his. He rubs me a little then sort of pushes me towards the couch and urges me to sit down. I sit and before I can even think, he�s pushed my knees apart, put his head in my crotch and taken my dick in his mouth.

I look up at the video and the scene has changed. It�s now Sue sucking a cock that does not appear to be Jon�s. The camera pans out and I see Sue on all fours with this unknown dick in her mouth and Jon fucking her from behind. All the while Jon is between my legs giving me, what I must confess is, fantastic head!

There�s some position changes going on in the vid and, just as the stranger takes Jon�s cock in his mouth, the phone rings. It continues to ring until the machine picks up and I hear Sue saying, �Jon, pick up the phone!� He stops sucking me and goes to the phone. I look over and see the same hard cock that�s getting sucked in the vid and think that I might be willing to take him in my mouth.

He hangs up and comes back over and says, �She won�t be back for several hours. Sorry.� Then he takes me back in his mouth. I look up again to see both Sue and the stranger working on Jon�s cock. I�m ready to suck him now.

Pretty "gay" so far I guess, but I promise it gets better!

More later�

Okay, so this happened a long time ago, but I still need to get it off my chest. And yes, it's true!I once went to the equivalent of a boarding school (ages 18 and up) and every year there was a reunion and that applied to every single class that had gone to that school for the past 30 years. The reunion took place on the weekend while the then current students were present. I'm sorry for the extra info, but it will be worth it. Anyway, about five years after I had attended, I was greeted by a girl about 19 years old. Not exactly gorgeous but nice enough, slightly chubby and definitely not the brightest bulb, but nice despite that.As it so happened, I had to share a room with another guy, who also wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but fortunately a nice guy.She was enamoured with both of us  so much so, that she wanted to have a threesome with us.I figured, okay, I'm in. That is to say until my roommate shared a bombshell I did not see coming. He confessed to me that he was indeed a virgin.Regardless of how much I wanted to have the threesome, my conscience kicked in and I came to the conclusion that his first time should not be a threesome.Don't get me wrong, I love sex, but this was not the right time to teach him something that he should learn from a woman, and the only partner he should have for his first time. She went on and on about everything she loved doing and she replied to my questions correctly. This told me that she was the real deal. As the hours passed, I knew that I was not able to be any decent sexpartner at such a late time. She talked about how she was going to the reunion the following year and she made me promise that if I was there on the reunion that year, that we would fuck.Well, horny and dumb me, thought, cool, and I said sure, I'm willing if you're up for it.And as particular date showed up, I went to the reunion and as she had promised, she was there.I was hoping to be let off the hook as I really was not that keen on fucking her. So when she said that if she found someone else that night, she would release me from the promise. You see, I always keep my word, if humanly possible. And here I was hoping against all hope that she would let me off the hook, but to no avail.I actually prayed, that's how desperate I was, but when she told me that she had failed to find someone new, I had to do it.We went back to my room and got undressed. She insisted that I should go first, and then she got undressed. She was plump and had a freshly shaved fat pussy. She sat on my lap while we were making out.She let me fondle her boobs as we were warming up to the main event. I then asked her to get on the floor and lift her legs up. She wasn't so keen at first, but I told her that her weight would make it difficult for me to get the job done properly. She obliged.I fingered her fat pussy and got her a little wetter than she had been and then I started to fuck her.I didn't take long before I came, but I wasn't done with her that easily. I then had her get on her knees and lick my cock clean. She wasn't too keen on the idea at first, but I told her that she had promised me that I could order her around and that she was okay with that.That was obviously a lie, but she didn't call me out on it, so she obeyed me like the slutty bitch I knew that she really was. I also fucked her fat ass and had her lick my cock clean afterwards.I will admit that the whole "session" took about an hour and a half.I finished with fucking her pussy before calling it quits. I kissed her on the forehead and told her to get dressed and leave.I did have a guilty conscience for about a minute, but I had to do her like that so that she wouldn't pester me for more. That's the only time I have done anything like that but I just had to.And that's it!

Philosophy of Sex

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
�Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
�Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don�t have a good partner, you�d better have a good hand."
�Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
�Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
�Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
�Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
�Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
�George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
�Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex�-no matter what she�s reading."
�Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
�Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
�Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady � and you didn�t think Barbara had a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man�s genitals through his wallet."
�Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
�Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
�Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
�Robert De Niro

"There�s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what�s the problem?"
�Dustin Hoffman

"There�s very little advice in men�s magazines, because men think, I know what I�m doing. Just show me somebody naked."
�Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I�m going to find a woman I don�t like and just give her a house."
�Rod Stewart