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Anonymous
@confessions
07 Aug 2013 7:19PM
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Okay incest, this is my story. All this happened about an hour ago. For you to understand my situation fully, I think it is best for me to explain some history about my family and I. So, i'll format everything into blocks, first talking about my family, then my brother, then my sister's and mine relationship, then the situation, then me. (NOTE: I know this could get lengthy so i'm sorry in advanced, but again, I feel this is what needs to be done.) Let's begin.

I have four brothers and four sisters, six of which are adopted from Ukraine. Within in six adopted, there are three separate families. Meaning, not all of them are biologically related to one another. I'll try to keep things straight by categorizing my siblings by their biological relation to one another. My first siblings, one of my younger sisters and one of my older brothers, were adopted when I was about eight. Since them two being adopted (they are related to one another (1)), my parents, through out the following years, took four more trips back to Ukraine (the last which in which we ALL went on); hence how my family became so large. The next sibling to be adopted, my younger sister(2), was adopted a few years later. Again, my parents went back to adopted my youngest brother (3). The finale was, when my parents learned my sister (2), also had an older brother and sister (2), we all went to Ukraine to adopt them.

Okay, lets now talk about my brother(1). We'll call him "J". I consider J to be my long lost brother. I can't explain it, but i'm sure either fate/god or whatever, determined that J and I would meet and be brothers. Ever since he was adopted, we bonded, and over the years, that bond has only strengthened. He is my best friend, and one of a very very few friends that I have. Fun fact: he happens to be only SIX days older than me. Weird huh? Anyways, we are very close. You might ask why I'm telling you about my relationship with my bro, but it will all have something to do with what is later to come. Moving on.

Next, is my older sister(2). We'll call he "C". Okay, C is a little older than me. About two years apart. As we got older and got into puberty, hormones started to kick in. Gradually, I started kind of "wanting" my sister. It started about 8th grade I would say. I would go into her room while she was showering, and wait for her to get out and walk in. I'd be rock hard to try and see if she would respond. I did that a couple of times, but finally controlled myself. Skip to the summer going into 10th i believe. Maybe the summer of my 9th grade year. Anyways, that summer, my whole family and I went to the beach, and stayed in this two story room for free, at this condo, courtesy of my dad's friend who just so happened to own it. Well, one night most the family was downstairs watching a movie or asleep. My sister C, was upstairs in her room, watching t.v. I went up there and it was like in the incest videos that i watched, at first just to help her get the t.v. set up. I ended up hanging out with her, laying on the same bed with her. I was laying down next to her, and she was sitting on the bed, with her knees pulled up towards her. I noticed her smooth legs and started to slowly pull back her Nike shorts she was wearing, to reveal more of her thigh. Well, she noticed. I said something like "oh "oh sorry, didn't mean to, just really liked your legs" sort of things. She laughed it off or whatever. A little later i asked if she like that. She said yeah but felt weird about it. I told her I totally understood and would stop. Well, a little later, she put her head down on my chest. The night ended. Nothing happened. The next day, we went into the laundry room located on the second floor. We didn't use this room, so we knew we wouldn't be disturbed. We began exploring each other. We kissed, and just kind of felt each other up. She was really shy so i was being very slow and gentle. I lifted her shirt, seeing boobs for my first time. I started unzipping her pants, seeing a vagina for the first time. Fingered her a little bit whilst making out. I was hard, and asked if she wanted to see "mine." She was okay with it, and I unzipped my pants, revealing my erect penis. We felt each other up for awhile but finally we left. Things continued like that the rest of the trip at the beach. She gave me my first hand job later. She was a lot of my firsts, and i was likewise to her. When we left the beach, we continued doing things. I eventually started showering with her (she had a bathroom connected to her room), but we never advanced past feeling up one another. But as years went by and we grew up, we started wanting more. I began sneaking up into her room at night. I fucked her for the first time when I was in 10th grade. She was my first , again. We continued, I kept sneaking upstairs into her room to sleep with her and would occasionally find times to shower with her. Again, things progressed more, to oral sex. We'd take breaks from one another, but eventually i'd cave to self desires and things would start up again.

Lets fast forward to the present. It happened today. I had just gotten home from work to find my whole family gone, except C and J. J, originally, was asleep on the couch downstairs not feeling well. I said hey and he groggily replied. I went upstairs to find C, getting ready to shower. We chatted, I asked where everyone was and everything, how her day had been, just chatter. The whole time, especially when i asked about why the house was so empty, she was giving me "that look." So, again, I caved. I went downstairs, grabbed a condom, and walked back upstairs to find C starting a shower. We kissed, got naked, and hopped in. We did the usually, felt one another up, she blew me and i ate her out. Then i lied down and she sat on down on top of my dick. We fucked until i came. We showered, I got out, and dressed back in my work clothes, just by the unlikely chance J was up. Well, that little chance wasn't so little. I left the bathroom through the second door, which led outside into our back yard. I thought I was clear, and was walking to the sliding door of our back porch, to find J meeting me. My heart skipped a beat. He opened the door, snack in hand, apparently going to eat on the porch. We said quick heys, and I walked past him. I felt sick. Did he see me? He had to. The look he gave me was one of disgust. I went downstairs and hopped in the shower, trying to cover my tracks. But what's weird, is he seems to be fine. At first, or maybe it was me being paranoid, he seemed to be really kind of mad at me, so I assumed that he must of saw me. But now, as the night has progressed, things really seem normal. (SIDE NOTE: When C and I took a break, C and J kind of had the same deal as C and I did. C told me that J would text her, go into her room, and do basically what C and I did. Oh, C also told J what C and I had done in the past so he and I both know about our dirty pasts. Never have we blatantly talked about it. Does this have something to do with it all?)

About me. As you might have guessed, I've never had a girlfriend or ever had any form of intimate connection with a female besides C. I've been the "nice guy." The "best friend." I'm the KING of the friend zone. I just am myself to girls, every girl, whether I'm into her or not. But apparently, me being so polite just winds me up being a "best friend." Honestly though, it never really bothered me, getting friend zoned, until my friends and J were getting all these girls to fucking fall on their knees for them and easily just kind of "hit-it-and-quit-it" type deal. And in highschool, there is a lot of pressure to lose your virginity. So C and I genuinely took a break. I really tried hard to get a girlfriend. And not really for a sexual reason, but I just wanted to be close with some one. Like how C and I were. We would just some nights lay in her bed and just talk about life. I just wanted that. To be with some one. To be close. Well, I got really close to this girl, and I thought for sure I had done it. I built a connection with her, and I felt a little feed back. Well, just like the sequels, I got dropped flat on my face, and she straight told me the classic "i just see you as a friend" type deal. Well this hurt. And i mean hurt. But that's another story. Well again, i fell C and I fell back into a cycle with one another.

Okay, so after hearing all the preliminary stuff, we are now to the main point. What should I do? Should I talk with my brother about today? Should I just not? What do you guys think? I value the bond I have with my brother and I don't want to jeopardize that. And please, feel free to ask me questions.

P.S: It might be hard to believe, but I still have A LOT more to say but honestly, I'm exhausted. Again, i'm open to questions about me/my family/anything you can think of pertaining to this post. Sorry if was kind of ranty and my information seemed to be splotchy, but I just needed to say a lot of things and still need to say more and explain things better.

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rain999
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@random
03 Nov 2012 11:48PM
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It's Thunder and It's Lightning (Find You, Find Daddy)

A wise and patient mentor/teacher with whom I've recently become acquainted expressed an interest in what I truly enjoy; what satisfies me in the deepest way, sexually, perversely-- what my kinks are. Words and phrases occurred as thoughts developed, as usual for me. As I continued to free-associate and add more, it dawned on me that the seeds of my contentment were planted with my first sexual experiences. Only one person has heard this story and this is the first time I've written it down. This is for you, my inspiring new friend. Thank you. Everyone else, I hope this helps you (Daddies and their Good Girls) get to the core of your and your partners' kinks, too.

---

First Time: Start of a journey in search of a permanent Daddy

Our fatherless house (he was gone by the time I was three) was packed for the High Holy Days one year. My cousin (distant, by marriage of his grandmother to a sibling of my grandfather) was sleeping in the twin bed across from mine in my room, and this thrilled me because I had a mad crush on him. In my inexperienced head he was Davy Jones. He, of course, was oblivious to my crush, though he did treat me sweetly, just... well, as you would a cousin you'd known since birth and thought was a pretty good girl.

I woke up late one night to the kind of Louisiana thunder and lightning and crashes that sounded... instead of foisting some fraught simile on you, I'll just tell you that thunder and lightning frightened me for a brief period early on in my life, and so I leapt into his bed, startling the crap out of him in the process. I clung to him like Velcro and he stroked my back and whispered inconsequential, comforting sounds and words into my hair and onto my face and neck. He was lovely and tender, as one would be with an irrationally frightened girl. He was also strong and reassuring-- his touches confident and protective (and completely paternal in the moment).

Feeling him hardening under me as I rocked on him, I was completely unaware of why he would be. I'm certain, now, that his physical response was at first involuntary. In a cotton nightgown and panties, I'd thrown myself onto him, straddling him with my face buried in his neck, my hands grasping and arms wrapping as best I could around him, and I'd been slowly, subtly rocking up and down, forward and backward. He wore shorts and an LSU t-shirt, so there was little between my body and his. And, perhaps he'd already been semi-hard. Most of the men I've slept with become tumescent during their sleep, off and on throughout the night. Anyway...

The awareness that my little pussy was resting and rubbing slightly off-center on his hardness grew in my fevered head as the fear started subsiding. The rocking was making me feel so surprisingly good, I shifted a bit so that the hard thing was between my little lips, and then intensified my movements. His big, strong hands tightened on my body where they rested; his warm, sweet breath quickening and washing over me in bigger waves; his words lost in soft, unintelligible whispered moans.

Suddenly, I felt his arms tense up in a different way, as if he were going to push me away and in instinctive reaction, I clung tighter to him, moving faster and harder against him to make the pleasure come more acutely for me. I didn't understand what was happening, but I did not want this to end, nor did I understand why he was thinking about moving me off of him or what he might be feeling.

His hands moved down to my buttocks and he began sliding me vertically with more pressure, elongating my movements, pulling and pushing me along his hardness. The new, intense sensations became almost excruciating for me in their perfect, delicious pitch. His voice, whispering familiar words and words I'd never heard before; the subtle scent of his cologne; his smoky sweet breath on my hair and face; the warmth of his lithe body and sheen of sweat... God, just writing about it, now pulls me under and I'm drowning in the heat.

My first orgasm spread out of the center of me, suddenly, unexpectedly, shockingly, oh so sweetly right there on his hard cock (I now knew what the word meant). Overwhelmed with sensation and emotion, tears flowing down my face, I didn't realize what it was he was experiencing in the moment, but he followed shortly, his fingers in my mouth, his hand holding my head so he could see my eyes, his soft moans whispering my name, breath washing over my face, and filling my mouth, nose and lungs. I saw what I at first thought was fear, and maybe some of it was... and then a kind of sneering joy (he smiled, but the way his lips curled, it looked like a sneer, but his eyes were so joyful and ecstatic)... and then the release, as if someone let him up from under water and I was his little life raft.

---

Still, to this day, I prefer this kind of sex-- regardless of position, I love to feel my lover's cock between my lips, but not inside of me, though I do love that too. I'm that girl in those moments. Yet, I have no desire to revert or to pretend or to babytalk or to be that girl. I just am, inside. Sometimes older, sometimes just the age that I am. But always, that me in utter ecstasy or arousal... on the inside of the inside. And, still, to this day, I return to this memory (and others of him) often, when I masturbate.

So much of everything I am is wrapped up in my relationship with him. For example, the reason music and sex are so deeply intertwined for me is that he owned a record store downtown and would bring me cutouts and new records he thought I'd like or that he wanted me to like. He spoke with me about music the way one would speak with a peer. He's the reason I discovered Creem and Rolling Stone, and the reason I later owned two music magazines, my own label and booking/management company. And, still many of my friends are musicians or are in the music industry.

Our sexual relationship (friction, masturbation and oral sex, only) ended about 3 years later when he married. He was adorable, really. He lifted me up onto a table and explained to me how things were going to change, but that he would always love his "little old lady."

With him, I'd always felt safe, secure, protected and cherished, which in turn made me feel brave, strong and that I could do anything-- be anything. He treated me always with affection and kindness, and I realize now that I wanted to please him in every way-- even when he wasn't around-- in return for his love and attention.

I was devastated and heartbroken by the loss of him, when he finally returned from his honeymoon. It was only then that I realized he would never be alone with me, again. Subsequently, I began running away from home, hitchhiking to New Orleans and back and then around the country-- never knowing for what precisely it was I was searching, but experiencing adventures that most people never experience in three lifetimes.

With retrospect, these experiences and this ever-evolving long journey eventually helped me know that I need a Daddy. Learning where my desires began is helping me define exactly what I require from a man, should he step up-- and more importantly, to be able to recognize him, when he does.

XOXOX,
Rain

PS: The title is pilfered from We Were Promised Jetpacks.

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Anonymous
@confessions
16 Apr 2014 7:04AM
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So most people I know have at least one drunk/drug related sex thing they've done that they regret. I'm kinda in the oposite boat... I've passed up a few things I wish I hadn't - some of them maybe a bit wrong - because either I or the girl(s) or both were so fucked up I felt bad about acting on the opportunities. 80% of them would've been minor things with no major fallout... fucking girls who are "just friends" etc. Shit a few of those mightve led to later sober awesomefux.

I did go to a music festival with a younger friend (I was in my early 30s she was in her early 20s) once and she brought a friend I thought was the same age. After spending most of the day drunk as shit and "dancing" with her (by which I mean grindinding my hard ass cock on her ass - all through jeans - rubbing her tits, and "hugging her waist" (as in had my arm around her and my fingers down inside enough to feel the top of some fuzz) my friend pulled me aside and was like "dude, careful, 17!"... At which point I was sober and freaked out enough to tone it down to hands on hips.

The absolute worst (or best if you ask me deep enough into the fapzone) sex thing I ever did was oral/finger shit with my younger sister when we were both in our mid teens. Thing is though, even tho thats when I was getting into booze and weed... all that happened stone cold sober. It usually went down after school or mostly weekends when the parents were grocery shopping. I never got high before we messed around, and my sister didnt start messing with drugs until a year or two after we broke off the incest thing.

A girl I started seeing my first year in college was pretty messed up. Bisexual, alcoholic, did too much coke, sometimes fucked for money or gifts tho I wouldnt call her a hooker so much as a mental trainwreck... Anyhow, during the time she injected herself into my group of friends.... I think she hooked up with my sister once or twice but cant prove it.

One afternoon when she was thank god on her way off the scene, my sister hung out with my and my stoner friends. Everyone drifted off until it was just the 2 of us. I had a packed bowl stashed in a drawer. We were getting along as best as we had since we ended the incest stuff 3 or 4 years before.

I came sooooooooooooooo close to pulling out the bowl, trying to get her high, and asking if she wanted to fuck. It would've been the only time we'd gotten high together, the only time we'd incestest as adults. Instead I made up some excuse to go do something.

We never talked about our sex shit again until our 30s. in a therapy setting. We never got high together. It worked out eventually years later. but I kinda wonder if some stoned college sibling fucktime one afternoon might've replaced a few years of drama with some stoned sisterfucking or at least a "joint" fap session with some Dead show tapes in the background.

I'd also stilk like to know if that psychoho I was seeing fucked my sister too. At least it'd be one more item on the really short list of shit we had in common

Drugs. Sex. Regrets. They don't always line up like you'd expect

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