To The Cunt Across the street and her shitty kids.

I don't believe in hitting women, but god damn it Paula one of these days Im gonna bounce your fucking head of a car wind shield. Sorry you got knocked up by every Nigger west of the Fucking African Continent, sorry that your husband finally saw the light and left you for learning none of your shitty kids are his, both of you being white and with monkeys for children should have been his first fucking sign you spread your legs for any Gold Tooth Monkey with a criminal background, and it pains me to no fucking end Unemployment cut you off after learning you were selling acid on the down low and your current Nigger boyfriend is doing time for a kid sex beef.
But the next fucking time you slam your rusty piece of shit car into my mail box, I am gonna kick you in the fucking tax rebate box you call your pussy! And for fuck sake, clean up your god damn yard, tell your shitty kids to stop setting fires on this block. And dont give me that, 'aint my kids' THERE ARE NO OTHER FUCKING HALF BREED KIDS ON THIS BLOCK! THEY DON'T EVEN MAKE THE EFFORT TO RUN AWAY, I KNOW, I CAUGHT LITTLE ASPIRIN OR TYLENOL OR WHAT EVER THAT LITTLE SHITS NAME IS SETTING FIRE TO A TIRE AND ROLLING IT DOWN A HILL.

I HOPE TO CHRIST, SOCIAL SERVICES TAKES THEM AWAY FROM YOU. FUCK IT, EXPECT THEM IN THE MORNING, ONE LOOK AT YOUR SHITTY HOUSE AND 9 MONKEYS, I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL FINALLY SEE MY TAX DOLLARS AT WORK!

now i feel better

This place is no longer pushing boundaries, it is in fact, because of the goody goody self appointed censors, just like all the other 10 a penny, bog standard porn sites. You could stick a pin in the screen and find a thousand sites just like it ( not recommended for fellow Mac users but OK for those with a PC) Censorship kills controversy, exchange of views, intellectual debate, artistic expression and can lead to a low sperm count and impotence in teenage boys and a desire to help out around the house instead of spanking the monkey all day. So come on guys, get some fucking balls and get your depraved shit on here. This has been a post by the 'Centre for Unfulfilled Net Tossers' or CUNT for short.

Enslave black niggers to bounce their fat monkey ass on your hard cock

This was my girlfriend's very wet and excited reaction to watching a PETA video of a terrified monkey being forcibly dosed with chemicals as the woman lab worker administering the dose by syringe was gently saying, "Good Boy, that's a good Boy!"

When the Porch monkeys wear their pants below their butts with their dirty boxers hanging out, thats called SAGGIN.

Here is a little food for thought. What do you get when you spell SAGGIN backwards??
Now lift up your pants you lazy ass free loaders.

Puddles The Magic Monkey

I guess the TLDR of this is, I fucked a young fatty.

I'm 28, engaged to be married and working as an general IT monkey for a small firm. We have a trial contract for a call centre, and I got talking to the manager, who offered me extra cash to come out and sort his router out and build a pc from parts he bought but pussied out from putting together.

I got there on the weekend, and get to putting the PC together, largely being left to it, before sorting out the networking issues, he was paranoid about wireless signals so it was all LAN only, and I needed to fuck around with every PC connected, I do so on each machine in turn before there is one upstairs. I ask the guy, and he says it's his daughters room, that she is out but to ignore the mess and sort the issue out otherwise he would never hear the end of it.

I venture in, and its a fucking mess. I clear enough room to work, and fix the problem quick. My mind starts wondering what the daughter is like, and I start getting half a mind to do something like investigate her laundry for some nice knickers to steal before the paranoia seeps in that that getting busted could really fuck up my job. I settle for attempting to find shit on her computer (no luck, pretty much a fresh install) and poking around her room in the few minutes I figured I had. Opened the top bedside drawer and among the normal junk staring me in the face is a cheap gold vibrator. I look over my shoulder at a closed door before picking it up. I can smell that it doesn't get cleaned much, and my cock is suddenly raging. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, so I replace it and bail out of the room, to run into the guy, who is happy I did such a quick job.

Muslims - I say toast them all before the toast us. Turn the sand monkeys back to sand!

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Stranger: Please tell me youre a regular person.

Stranger: ASL?

You: Stop typing like a fucking monkey

Stranger: GET THE FUCK OUTTTTTT. Hoe.

You: Still typing like a fucking monkey

Stranger: HOW?!

You: I hate you dude

Stranger: I hate your MOM!

You: That's cool

Stranger: I know.

Stranger: I know.

You: Congrats you're not typing like a monkey, we can have a conversation about how your mom should've swallowed

Stranger: And your mom shouldve spit?

Stranger: I think so.

You: And you just took what I said and tweaked it

You: Congratulations

You: \(._.)

Stranger: Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Stranger: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

i like monkeys.

I like to fuck with people, like I did today.

I was in a doctors waiting room and there was this Arabic guy sitting next to me who had arms as hairy as a monkey but was bald on top of his head. I kind of stared at him and when he looked over I told him, "It's a shame doctors can't find a way to get your arm hair and put it on your head". I could see the pissed look on his face. Just when I think he was going to say something back the nurse opened the door and called his name. I bet you he is still pissed.