Ok so this is my first post, and by the seems of things a bit of a lame one I will admit. I've been a ML addict for quite a while, uploaded a few images & videos of other peoples stuff and made a few gallerys of stuff I love, but never put anything up that was actually personal.

I've been with a girl (Lisa) since Uni, for just over 7 years. She's really a great girl who I have semi moved in with, it's my place and she stays over most weeks. I live in a small part of a quiet country but I'm from a large town. She's a country girl who's quite shy but made the first move on me back when we started, and from that point on things were great. 2 years in and after moving into a new place at uni a new girl, Jemma, moved in, and after a few months we had a serious affair (even to the point where she'd let me fuck her anally without any concerns. All the time I stayed with Lisa, and I felt bad for cheating on her like that, but I couldn't help myself for wanting Jemma. I moved back home from uni, and cut things off with Jemma after Lisa broke things off with me. I made the big effort and made a declaration to Lisa that I wanted to stay with her and meant to marry her. That was 4/5 years ago, and I stayed faithful as I wanted things to work out. I moved back to the opposite side of the country to be with her, and took a job down here to be with her.

About 2 months after taking this job I met a girl (Kerry) who used to have my job (running a bar/ hotel) before she went away travelling. She came back to start working while she decided on her next step in life, and the first time I met her I was having a meal there with Lisa. She walked over to me to ask for help with some problem they were having, and my jaw dropped. This Kerry was stunning. I dropped the meal with my GF to help Kerry out with this problem, and was instantly drawn to her. We spent 2 years working alongside each other, flirty banter rolling off our lips like there was no tomorrow and no consequences. The beauty of it being at work was that Lisa was never there to see it. Nothing ever happened between us, and Kerry took a job working on 5* international cruise liners. She'd be away for 4 months at a time, and back for 2 months or so. I never felt anything for Kerry beyond a severe lust towards her flesh, but whenever I was with Lisa it just disappeared because I love Lisa enough.

Lisa is that sort of girl that is lovely, seriously homely, and has never really moved away from her family farm. She has an awful habit of dragging me down a bit with little remarks about things I like or want to do, by simply disapproving of it, not that I really pay any attention to her protests but I still hear them. I know her whole family (after 7 years not suprising, since I lived with her immediate family for a year when I first started my new job), and they all love me.

Kerry came back some time last year, and left early September and it was like she'd never been away. We went straight back into the flirting, but working in hospitality you sort of expect that behaviour, and she's got that flirty personality that I just passed it off as her being herself. One night after she finished and sat drinking at the bar I drove her home, and when she went to kiss me goodnight on the cheek she tried to kiss me. I wanted Kerry to kiss me, but out of some sense of honour I stopped it, and told her that it was because of Lisa that it couldn't happen. She got out of the car accepting this, and I didn't see her again properly until about 4 months ago when she came home on an extended leave.

I came back to work after 4 weeks off, and she was back there. Same Kerry as always, and damned near every male in the village telling me how stunning she is, like I needed any reminder! We were back to the flirting, the occaisional innocent touch as we passed behind each other but nothing untoward. She refused to give me a goodnight kiss on the cheek when I took her home, until one night I called her up on it. From then on she'd ask for a lift home, kiss me goodnight and that would be that... We had our laughs, and we get on like such a goddamned house on fire that I felt like we were back to how we were early last year. We even played a joke on a customer, telling him that we had gotten engaged, and that I'd proposed to her in the supermarket. She made the whole story up herself, and all I had to do was go along with it. That night we had a few drinks behind the bar, and since I'd had too much to drive she told me in no uncertain terms that I would be staying at hers, in the spare room. We snook back into hers, she went to kiss me goodnight on the cheek as usual, and I felt her almost trying to kiss me again. I ignored it and went to sleep in the spare room as I didn't want to get back into that situation again (I didn't even know at this point if she'd remembered what she'd done last year).

Then last friday night happened. Now bear in mind, Kerry has haunted my thoughts since that first kiss. I dwelt on that attempted kiss, even until that Friday. Kerry and I were working behind the bar, she had a few drinks more than me and I took her home as per usual. We got outside her house and we went for the usual peck on the cheek and again she goes to kiss me. Now being as crazy about Kerry as I am, and after kicking myself for nearly a year about not accepting the last kiss I uttered "For fucks sake..." and kissed her back. After a half hour of making out, me taking her clothes off and winding up rubbing her clit through her panties she stopped me, and it got a little awkward. She told me it couldn't happen as I was "smitten" with Lisa, and that she had felt like such a fool for trying to kiss me the first time. Also that she had liked me back then, and after the liquid courage had tried to kiss me because of that. I told her that I had made my bed and that I supposed I ought to lie in it (with Lisa). She reminded me that I'm only 27, and we had a stilted sort of conversation, with her getting out of the car telling me that I needed to sort my shit out and not just for her sake.

I got back to my house with Lisa in bed at about 5am, with her all lined up to hostess my family around the area for the weekend. I spent all weekend with her slightly grumpy for no apparent reason to her, though it was really because I didn't know what the hell to make of the Friday night/ Saturday morning. This girl I had tried to convince myself that I didn't want had made another move on me, and I simply couldn't stop myself a second time... She's THAT hot! Lisa took my infernal family out for the weekend and did her best to take care of them, all the time I'm wishing to see Kerry again.

Tuesday comes around and Lisa decides that she's going back to the farm for the week as she needs to catch up on the work she's missed. Her self confidence is low in general, and I know she would be beyond distraught if she had any idea of what had happened Friday night, never mind the ensuing Tuesday night.

Kerry had arranged to have a few leaving drinks on the Tuesday night, as she was going away to a wedding today. One of my absolute best friends Barry was invited, though by a circumstance I wound up back at work on my own so they all came into my bar to be around me. Kerry, her sister, a friend of hers and another girl from work. Barry I know has a big thing for Kerry, as has most of the male population of the village. All of them sat the other side of the bar with Barry having a great laugh, but me with eyes only for Kerry. It got to 1am and I closed the bar, Kerry a total clusterfuck with drink after doing a few body shots off the other girl from work and a couple off me.

I went downstairs to cash up for the night, Kerry comes down to ask if she can have another round of shots even though we're after the license. I tell her of course she can, we chat a while before she says to me "Ok, so I'm going to go back upstairs because I want to kiss you right now, and it's bad". I tell her "Sometimes people do bad things" and she walks right over, sits on my lap and kisses the hell out of me. I've had enough of fighting the urge to get my hands on her and went back for her. I'm half watching the CCTV cameras to make sure no-one comes downstairs to catch us, and proceed to heat things up a bit. I eventually stop her, tell her to get her ass back upstairs and pour that round of shots out before some-one suspects something. She goes back up, I finish off cashing up and she's back downstairs for another bottle just as I'm putting the nights takings in the safe. I grab her again and kiss her, which she tells me "You think this is a game, but it won't last", and after a short making out she goes back upstairs.
I get upstairs, she leads me out the back of the bar out of sight and starts making out with me again, obviously I have no compunction about it by now and am eager just to get my hands on her.

Eventually we get everybody out for gone 2am, and I am told I'm giving her a lift home, to which we get in the car and we're instantly back on each other. We go for a drive and wind up out in the middle of nowhere, parked up in a layby on a tiny little country lane. We start talking about what happened, and how she's irritated that I have a GF, but that I kissed her. She tries to tell me that I must've known she's liked me for such a long time. I tell her that I couldn't have known as she seems to be like that with everyone, and that until she tried to kiss me on the Friday night I didn't know if it was just the alcohol that was what had made her try to kiss me the first time. She understood that, and we talked about how she had wanted me for such a long time, but thought herself such a fool for trying to kiss me the first time. She then told me that she's never really had a relationship with anyone as she has people she fucks, and people she likes, and never the twain shall meet. Until me. She really likes me for myself, my personality and the way we just suit each other, and obviously in a sexual way. I tell her about how much I've wanted her since I first laid eyes upon her. We talk then about her personality, as she likes new toys all the time; new gadgets, new clothes, new stuff all the time. I wanted to know whether it was just the thrill of a new thing, and that once played with and done with that it goes back on the shelf and is never wanted again, as that's what I don't want to become. She tells me she's not even sure if that's what it is, compounded by the fact that I belong to someone else and that I'm supposed to be unobtainable, but also that she wants more than anything to be with me. She also says that she intends to spend the remainder of the next 10 years working on Cruise ships.
She then says that she's not sure if I'm essentially just an itch that she has to scratch and that it would get me out of her system. I tell her "There's only one way to find out", to which she plants herself on me again. This time we kiss and kiss and eventually wind up getting naked in my car, I frig her off to the tune of 2 courses of multiple orgasms committing every moment to memory in case it never happens again. We don't fuck, but after eating her out and hearing her come so many times the 2 hours we spend at it become too much. We get dressed and I take her home, with her telling me that she wants to fuck me on the bosses desk. Kerry tells me she's going to kiss me again before she leaves to go back to the house, and we part for the day.

Then yesterday I knew I had to see her again before she goes away for another 4 months, and that I had to see if when she was sober she still felt the same. I pick her up after going for a meal with Barry, talking of nothing but her (and how she's said to him that on her wedding night she intends to perform the Selma Hyek dancer scene out of From Dusk Til Dawn for her husband!). We go for a drive and park up outside where I go to the gym, and we talk shit for an hour or so with me just resting my hands on her legs. She tells me she had better get back as she's done no packing, at which point I decide that I have to taste her lips again. We make out for another half hour at least, and we stop because she's leaving in a few hours. I take her home again, she kisses me passionately on her driveway and says goodbye.

She's as cold and dispassionate about people as I can be, and this makes it hard to read precisely what's going on... but it also makes her such a fucking ball-breaker!

I guess I'm posting this because I need some feedback on what I should do, I still love Lisa but I'm not sure that I can love her that much as I'm willing to do all that with Kerry? But if I'm not going to see Kerry for 2/3rds of the year? And what if I am just an itch that has been scratched, is it worth throwing away 7 years with a girl that is still devoted to me?

What would you guys do?

PS- thanks for reading.... I know it's fucking dull!

admit it

the tv show MARRIED WITH CHILDREN back in the 90's was funny..

weather you liked it or not, it was FUNNY, AL BUNDY had some great 1 liners..
BUD BUNDY was funny in his prime as well ALL of them were, OH AND, we CANT forget MARCIE DARCIE ""CHICKEN AT LARGE""

x-raying for the next 30 min's or so.. for best results a shirt next to the skin with light directly on it works best no bikini's please thay have a liner half an inch thick and are very hard to get through

when you post your pic make sure you say who she is to you or i WILL NOT X-RAY your pic

i saw a vid the other day. tagged as russian incest. length was 3:57. girl bent over table. dude railing her while she's covering her face. goes in other room. gets another girl to hold cam. goes back to railing girl bent over table. makes her sit on table and shoots to her face. black hair. eye liner. blank look on face. where is this vid?!?!?!

Cant tell anyone else, so you guys get the story. Went on spam for the 50th time and finally found someone who seemed reasonable and actually wanted to get together at that moment. We met soon thereafter. Not my first online hookup, most were mutual jo sessions, maybe a bj...so kind of had that expectation. We had drinks, hung out by the pool and talked for 4 hours, not about sex (at least not primarily)...most about...us. Then we went inside and played for hours. Jerking and sucking, edging each other until we came within seconds of each other. There was a feeling of intimacy. I've never had that with a guy before. I don't believe either of us wanted the necessary departure. He is married to a man. I am married to a woman. I've always known I was into guys for their cocks, but I think I feel something much different. We have stayed in contact every day, sometimes multiple times a day..not just one liner messages, something that looks like this post. We have plans for another visit soon. I have a million thoughts running through my head and it is fucking with me big time.

All I know is that I don't know where this is going. But I am along for the ride.

My mother in law left her panties in the bathroom when I went in to take a dump. I immediately grabbed it and took a sniff savoring the tangy salty smell. I slipped my cock into the liner and left a huge load then sucked off the liner with both of our juices. Hope she notices how wet thy are and the smell of cum when she comes back for them. Can't wait for another pair!

i... i confess to... i confess to trying to start a boy-band in 2003. there i said it. alright? it was me and three friends. we had stage names figured out - Jakke Rose, Will� Chil�, DJ-Studrick, and my name: Adamnesia. Together we formed "Tempered Fawn".
we thought with the decline in boy-band popularity we could immediately gain fans by reviving the genre and be successful. but, you know how the world is... We were a joke apparently.
we watched as producers and record labels tossed away, spat on, and tore apart our demo tape "Me vs. Heartbreak, Round 1", which we put our blood sweat and tears into. they told us "that stuff's dead! you're 35 years old for fuck's sake man! take off the eye-liner!"

after our summer of rejection in the music industry, we disbanded. so did our friendships. but our failure at the time was just too much to bare. we haven't spoken since.

thank you for reading this... my heart goes out to you.

I'm at work jacking off to panties liners from the restroom. Help me cum and eat it

Why do women wear lip liner? Do they WANT their mouth to look like an anus?

I have a thing for my girlfriends mom. She is 45 not too attractive but there is just something about her that turns me on. I've joked around with my gf during sex about people to join us and mention her mom and she instantly turned it down no surprise there. So after my son is born I get into a no sex lull with my gf a mix of her not feeling up to it and getting mad at me. So for me back to my hand for my pleasure needs and thoughts of her mom. Now I definitely want to fuck her. I'm at the conclusion now that if the moment comes up without hesitation I will fuck her no matter what. So then I got the idea to secretly record her in the shower but... how.
Then my moment came we planned a beach trip my gf, me and her mother. So I bought a small lunch bag to put all my bathroom stuff in. I cut a small hole in it, mounted my Sony Bloggie inside the liner so if opened it can't be seen. The first morning we woke up at the beach I showered, then my gf, then her mom but I went in first to use it. I turned on my cam and let her mom in to shower. I could her the water running thinking all about her body all wet and soapy. Then the water shut off and her mom peeked out and called to my gf. I instantly was sick thinking she somehow saw my cam. Well turned out she just forgot her clothes. So once she was out just before we left the room I went in stopped the recording and went about the day. When we all got back to the room my gf and her mom planned on going to the boardwalk and figure I was going well I said my feet hurt and was too tired. They left the room and I pulled out the cam. Caught every inch of her naked body, loved every minute of the footage. Well then two weeks after the video was deleted by me and yes NOW I regret that action. Well now in present time there is another beach trip planned the same people going. I plan on getting an actual spy cam with motion activated tech. and recording every shower my mother in law takes. Just thought I would share my story. I have it anonymous to make sure my gf and mother in law don't send me to an early grave. lol.

This experience is why I am obsessed with Louise Ogborn. She is like a hero to me because her experience lead to the capture of her abusers. She is beautiful and has been through so much, like me, and our cases are so similar. But if you ever see the comments on the internet about her, everyone says how stupid she is to have fallen for the hoax. Everyone says she�s so stupid for believing the phony cop and for taking her clothes off in the first place. Everyone says she�s so stupid for thinking that any of the things they made her do were part of a legitimate police investigation. Everyone says she�s so stupid for thinking that a cop would really demand that she give the man watching her oral sex.
Maybe I�m the only one who will ever truly understand her. I understand that she is not stupid. But ever since my first rape, I have felt retardedly stupid every day. I always feel like the most stupid person in the room. I have an inferiority complex. You�ll understand why later if you read about my second rape.

Two weeks went by and I hadn�t heard anything more about the investigation. I hadn�t heard anything from the cops, although I was constantly paranoid that they would show up at any time, wherever I was, at home, at school, at work, and drag me off to jail, or worse, another search.
Then one day I came back from my lunch break at work, and I went up to the break room to put my purse back in my locker and there he was, the loss prevention guy. He smiled with crocodile teeth when he saw me and I never made it to the break room, he diverted me into the conference room. He told me to have a seat so we could talk some more about the investigation and then he picked up the phone and paged another girl that worked as a cashier. I barely knew her because she was a grade below me. I knew that she was only 15 though, and just barely turned 15 at that! She eventually came to the conference room and was sat down next to me. The loss prevention guy talked to us for a little, asking us for the names of anyone that we thought was stealing. He asked us who we knew that might be willing to steal. He told us that the reason we were suspected was because the description that the jewelry store gave was of a young skinny girl with big breasts. We both met that description. She was younger, just about as skinny as me, and had big breasts for her size too, but still slightly smaller than mine, I think she was prettier than me.
After some of those stupid questions, he said that he had to do another quick search because, not having had anything on us on just the one day that they did the initial search could have been luck, but if he searched us again and again, found nothing, then it would prove our innocence. He also said that he needed to take more pictures of us. He reminded us that we had both promised to cooperate with the investigation and that if he needed to, he could have the detective come down personally to do the search and take the pictures. All the while he was setting up that tripod again and setting up the video camera. We both said that we didn�t want the detective to have to come, so he told us to take our clothes off. He said he was going to the break room for a second and that when he got back, we had better be naked, and if not there would be trouble and we would be making it worse for ourselves. We both slowly started undressing. I knew that I was just putting off the inevitable, but I was slow taking off my clothes. I hoped that if I wasn�t nude, but still in the process of taking my clothes off when he got back, that would be good enough. But soon enough he came back, dragging in a trash barrel with him with an empty liner. He told us to put our clothes into the barrel, along with my purse too.
Once again, there I was in that God forsaken room, nude and in front of a video camera, but this time there was another girl with me going through the same thing. This time was different though. It was like he was picking up where he left off. No pretense, he just felt at ease telling us to get naked, put our hands behind our heads, do this, do that! He asked us what we thought about each others� bodies. He asked me if I thought she was sexy. He asked her the same. And he touched us a lot more too. He touched our breasts for no good reason whenever he wanted. He fondled them, pinched them, squeezed them together. He had us lay on the table and spread our legs and our labias so he could take more pictures of us like that. Then he put his finger in us. The other girl started crying �Why? Why? Why are you doing this?� He didn�t answer. He just smiled and kept fingering us both at the same time. I hated him, but I felt powerless. I felt like he was holding all the cards. I was afraid of him. I was afraid of what he would do if I made him mad, and I was afraid of going to jail if he had to call the detective. Then he told us to get on our knees in front of him. I did as I was told, but she kept crying �Do we really have to do this? What does this have to do with the investigation?�
Then he dropped the bomb that completely shattered my world. �There IS NO INVESTIGATION.� I could swear that he hissed the words like some kind of snake demon. �I�m no loss prevention officer and that wasn�t your regional manager, you dumb sluts!� It took a while for it to sink in, so he told us that didn�t matter because unless we wanted the video and pictures to end up on the internet, unless we wanted all of our friends, teachers, and people that don�t like us to see what we did, we would do what he wanted. Then he grabbed her by the hair and pulled her down to her knees in front of him and told her to unzip his pants and take out his c*ck and put it in her mouth. She slowly did it, and once it was in her mouth, he told me to put my mouth on him too. He took his video camera and made sure he got plenty of footage of us both pleasing him simultaneously. He took his clothes off and then told us he had a surprise for us. He told us to bend over the table, right next to each other. Then he went in his bag and grabbed a tape and went over to the vhs player in the room and turned on the large tv on the wall and soon the tape started playing. It was the tape they made of when they strip searched/raped the other girl. He started raping us again, going from one of our pussies to the other and back again. All the while he made us watch what they did to her. It was bad enough for me, being raped while having to watch it, but I couldn�t imagine how bad it must be for her. Remember how the �detective� asked if I shaved �down there?� Well I found out why. Apparently the other girl wasn�t shaved when they searched her, so they shaved her right there on the table, on video �to make sure she wasn�t concealing anything.� While he was raping us, he told us to make out for him. It was very awkward for me because I had never considered kissing a girl before, and now I had to make out with one, while being raped� while we were BOTH being raped. Then her to lay on the table and spread her legs. I thought he was going to start raping her, but instead he forced my head between her legs and told me that if I knew what was good for me, I�d eat her out. He said that I had to eat her out until she came. All the while, he kept raping me. He made sure to get plenty of video footage of me doing that too.
Eventually she shuddered (I think she was faking) like she was orgasming. So he pulled out of my p*ssy and made me use my mouth to �clean him off.� He then put the camera in my face and interviewed me about how I liked the taste of my own p*ssy and how I liked eating her p*ssy. He asked me if I�d ever tasted my own p*ssy before, he asked me about my masturbating habits, he asked me if I�d ever eaten another girl out before. He did everything he could to further my humiliation and he captured every second on camera so he could use it against me. Then he told me to lay on the table and he proceeded to rape the other girl while making her eat me out. But he got kind of bored of that, so he made us 69 while he continued to rape her. After God only knows how long of that treatment, he made us get on our knees in front of him and he finished on our faces and made sure to get a good amount in our mouths. Then he ordered us to French kiss and share what we had in our mouths and then swallow. I prayed for God to strike him dead, or for my sake, to put me out of my misery by striking me dead. While we were doing that, he went and changed the tape and the tape of my first rape/strip search started playing. He made us watch it, he fast forwarded to the �good parts� and made cruel jokes and asked me what I was thinking here, and if I liked what they were doing there. He asked the other girl what she thought of me. After he�d rested enough, he told us to bend over the table again, and I prepared for him to rape me some more. But this time he put it in my butt. I cried, I did my best not to scream, and he told me to suck on the other girls breasts to keep my mouth occupied. Of course, I did as I was told and he got it on video. I screamed into her breasts like a pillow. She held my head tight to her chest and stroked my head to comfort me. In the background I heard the tape of my first rape still playing. I kept hearing the word �I concur� and it made me want to die. He told her that she was next and she started crying into my hair. All of a sudden my head was yanked up by my hair and he asked me if I wanted him to stop. I cried that I did, but he didn�t stop. He told me that I got to choose. I could let him keep raping my butthole, or he could swap and rape my �new girlfriend�s butthole.� I wanted him to stop. I just couldn�t bring myself to tell him to hurt her more. I felt protective of her. I told myself this was why God refused to kill me, so I could protect her and take it for her. So I told him to keep raping me and not to hurt her� he did anyways. He kept raping me for a little, but then he pulled out of me and just grabbed her and bent her body into position and started pushing his c*ck into her butthole. She started crying when he grabbed her by her hair and told her to eat my p*ssy some more. He reminded her that she never made me orgasm and said that when I came, he�d stop. She did as she was told and I laid there wondering if it had been long enough yet or if I should wait a little longer to fake my orgasm to make him stop. I didn�t want to do it too soon because I didn�t want it to be obvious that I was faking. Eventually I did fake my orgasm. She stopped what she was doing but he said he wasn�t done yet and told her to suck on my tits while he finished. It seemed like forever, but he eventually finished inside her butt.
Once he was done he put his clothes back on, but told us to stay on the table and to 69. He disassembled the tripod and put the cameras away. He told us to watch his �favorite part� on the video, it was when they were leaving, they stopped by the Customer Service Desk and zoomed the camera in on a picture behind the counter of the regional manager. He looked nothing like the guy that was with him last time! I was duped and I should have known it! I should have paid attention to that picture and known that he was not the regional manager! I�m such a F*cking idiot! He then took the trash barrel out of the room and said that when he came back, we had better still be 69-ing.

He never came back. We were discovered by the closing manager as he was doing his final walkthrough before going home. The store had been closed for an hour already. We cried and told him that we were raped and blackmailed. The manager didn�t believe us. He told us that he didn�t believe us and that he didn�t know why we were having sex in the conference room after close but that making up stories wouldn�t make it any better. He kept looking at our naked bodies. I don�t know why, but I didn�t even make an effort to cover myself. I didn�t even think to. He saw our breasts, our pussies, our whole naked bodies. He told us that he was going to finish his walk through and that we had better be gone by the time he was done because he wasn�t going to check back on us, he was just going to set the alarm and lock the doors. Once he left we ran out of the room, looking for the trash bag full of our clothes and my purse. My cell phone, my keys to my parents� car, everything was gone, and worst of all, I had no clothes. The other girl�s keys to her home were in her locker, but the key to her lock on her locker was in her pants. The bastard took off and left us there with NOTHING, not even a way to get home. We grabbed aprons from the break room and put one on to cover our fronts and one to cover our backsides. It was the best we could do, but we ran out of the building as fast as we could. We both agreed not to tell anyone about this, and then we went our separate ways and walked to our homes. She lived about half a mile away, and I lived a mile in the opposite direction. My parents weren�t home when I got there, but luckily the door was unlocked. I took a shower and thought up a lie to tell my parents when they got home. I told them that my purse was stolen out of the break room and that�s why I didn�t drive the car home. I never told them about what happened.
I didn�t sleep for the next two days. I just cried all night in my bed until I had to get up and put on a brave face for everyone during the days. I never ran out of tears. I just cried and cried and cried. I felt so used and cheap. I felt so worthless. I used to think of myself as one of the most attractive girls in my school and at work. Guys would have done anything just to see me naked, but these bastards just waltzed right into my life and decided that for nothing they would use and abuse me and get what every guy wanted and more and then use it to blackmail me into doing it again, and doing it with another girl. I wanted them to die. I wanted them to go to prison and be raped every day of a very long prison sentence and then get murdered in prison for what they did. I wanted to feel the way I used to feel. I wanted to like my body again. Instead, I tried to cut my breasts off with a kitchen knife. But I�m stupid and the knife was dull and I didn�t get too far. I just got minor cuts. I stopped wearing make up and wore baggy clothes. But I never told any of my friends at school, and I did my best to hide everything. But my friends must have picked up on it at some level because before long, my friends stopped talking to me. They stopped calling, texting, IM-ing me. They stopped talking to me in the halls. No one ever told me why. I was paranoid that the pictures and/or video had gotten out and they�d seen what happened to me. Guys stopped hanging around me. It was like everyone was avoiding me. I just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

But then I got raped by him again.