When my wife(19) left me(22) I was mentally broken and I let a lot of people use me. well not that many but a few. In particular I had my first same sex experience. I am not attracted to men. but for some reason I was absolutely willing to be truly abuesd. there were four(almost 5) men and three girls and one much older woman I did things with. the first experience He was between 40-50 chubby stubbly and actually not handsome in anyway. he made me into a regular fuck. he'd come around 2-3 times during the week and use me. the first couple of times were just oral. he told me to be in just a t-shirt and boxers when he arrived. the very first time he told me to get on my knees open my mouth and stick out my tongue. i closed my eyes. heard him unzip as he asked i if had ever sucked on a dick before. I replied, no. I think he liked that. he shoved a weak semi hard cock into my mouth and told me to suck him till he finished. he made me deep throat the first time. I didn't throw up or gag too bad. he wasn't as long as me but he was thicker. he finished on my face and said to be on my knees mouth open just like today next time he came over. he said he wanted me to call him daddy.

The guy liked my quietness and submissiveness and said I was very cute. he eventually got me to give up my anal cherry. he started by pulling me to my bed told me to set up doggy style he pulled down my shorts and licked my hole. I was so shocked and scared. I started apologizing but he said I was clean and he liked how I tasted. i tried to tell him not to because I afraid of catching something. I didn't want him to fuck me. he said he had a rubber and made me slide it onto him with my mouth. then he licked my butt some more and spit n it. I was so embarrassed. he slid it in and fucked me telling i was such a good boy. he kept at it for a few minutes then said the condom was probably making it hurt more and took it off and slid back into me before i could reply. he pushed my face down into the bed hard so to keep me from resisting. I was scared I felt raped and dirty and violated. I could feel him building up to orgasm as he said i'm going to breed yu. I started struggling and trying to push him off but he just held me down Ive never been very strong. he started saying be a good girl and take it. then he came in me. it was a lot there was so much. i just layed there cum dripping from my butt hole. he started chatting saying how good and nice i was as he started fingering my wet hole. I kinda felt good that i made him feel good but also like i was just raped because he didn't stop when he should of.

he kept fucking me for about 4-5 months 2-3 times a week sometimes less. he wanted to be my daddy and i had to be his little girl. he always preferred to cum in my ass. i tried to get him to use my mouth but he'd use it to get hard then he'd flip me around and slide in like i was property. i just finally gave in and let him tell me what to do. he preferred to take me doggy though a couple of times he spoon fucked me pinning me down my legs hooked immobile in his, my arms pinned and his hand on my throat. sometimes he'd make me cry and he'd muffle my mouth or force me to suck on his fingers. I finally cut him off when he started calling me his bitch and he was gonna breed me like a bitch in heat. he usually talked awful like that but it got worse and worse and when he wanted me to give it up to his dog i didn't let him come back.

I then found another guy(Teen) but i was scared after that first guy and just sucked him off till he came in my mouth. I never talked to him again.

There was another guy(30's) but he didn't like me and got super paranoid after he smoked something. Maybe pot but I think must have been stronger cause he kinda flipped out.

the fourth guy(20's) was a random thing and had a huge piercing on his junk that made me bleed he came in my ass because he ripped the condom. he was nice enough but he left me dripping cum and blood so I never saw him after that.

The fifth guy(50's) was big bristly fat but scary strong and gray. he took me to his house after finding me online. it was a long drive(longer than he said it would be) maybe 40 min I was so scared. deep into the country. truly the middle of nowhere. He had an incredible house was well off. very smart. gentlemanly. but he scared the living out of me because i don't get lost easily and I was really lost. I had smoked a huge 2gm joint before he picked me up. when he got me to his house he made me lots of sweet cherry alcohol drinks(hard stuff too) and then gave me something called a popper to sniff i've never heard of that or since but the whole night was disorienting. I'm tall and slim nerdy and with few muscles and he was built like a brick house short thick and he had muscles. he had gay porn on and asked if i would dress up cute for him. He pulled out a few boxes of women's clothes and kink outfits I of course gave in. I dunno why. I'd never cross dressed before. He picked out the kind of clothes that drove me wild when I was with my wife. A long tight thin dress(the grope fantasy kind) nylons a black bra and matching panties. he said he wanted me clean so he showered and washed and shaved me before he dressed me. I didn;t have a hair left(except on my head) after he was done. The whole time he kept up with the alcohol and poppers. I was feeling pampered and feeling good. Between my submissive nature and all this attention and admittedly the fear I was getting truly turned on. He asked if he could tie me down but I couldn't let him. I was far too afraid. He told me I was passable or more or something. and he loved me and I really gave into him. I dunno why(maybe the drugs and stuff) but I let him have it all. He took me so many times that night I lost count. I fell asleep in his bed with him. and if my ass brushed into his cock he took me again. he fucked me in ways I was sure would break my body. he put my ankles up next to my head and I thought I would die. In the morning before he would drive me home I had to cum for him. That was the first time a guy had ever expected me to cum. I always had just given. Even with my wife I had mostly given though I did cum often in and for her. I'm not easily pushed to orgasm. So he made me lay in his bed stroking myself until I came. when I got home I fell asleep with his cum still in me and he had fucked me so hard long and roughly I was bleeding again. I of course never contacted him again but I've been tempted. The way he treated me was really well even if the whole ordeal made me feel like i was going to be murdered. that was my last bi/gay experience.

i might tell the stories of the girls i did stuff with during my breakdown but I mostly just wanted to get this out there. I'm a loner and I don't have any family so I've never had anyone to confide in I also have high functioning autism and PTSD from being orphaned and put in the system. Might be why I took my separation with my wife so hard. that and the abuses she inflicted on me. I'm just looking for any genuine thoughts. I don't want to be heckled. I know that what I did was weird and disturbing and dangerous. But I wasn't my normal self. So yea. that's about it.

I've really turned on by the idea of being changed to be straight (I am a gay man). Is there any hypnosis porn or groups that have this kink?

I have always been obsessed with anal sex, and no, I am not gay. It all started with my first gf, I just wanted to try everything, so I somehow convinced her to this. To say that it was a disaster, would be an understatement. I had no idea how much lube this requires, it hurt her like hell, I was too fast and too eager that it must have felt awful for her (I had no idea what I was doing), and even some shit stains were involved, so, it was a debacle, and we never tried it again.

Many years later, I was with a woman, who did want to oblige to this wish of mine, after so many refused. We did it, and it was ok. It was obvious she wasn't a fan of this, but I learned some stuff, or should I say we did, together. But, we did it very rarely, and I didn't really like the fact that she was obviously not into it, that we stopped all together.

I attributed my experience to the fact that such deed must be reserved for porn only, and no woman actually enjoys it.

Now, a little digression, I am 42 at the moment, never been married, but I have been a serial monogamist, had quite a few relationships, lasting from few months, up to six years (the longest). I have never been alone, and the most time I was without anyone was three months, or something like that. When my last relationship ended (the longest - six years), I realized that things have changed for me, with aging, and that finding women interested in me wasn't as easy, as it was before. I was alone, for over a year.

Then I met her. Ten years older than me, but I had no idea that that was the case, until we started dating, since she looked my age. Beautiful woman, divorced, with large fake tits, which she did hide under her sweater, that somehow didn't mach her character. She is a uni professor, a lady, and she has two grown sons, who moved out of her house.

She was so open, it was obvious she liked me, and we hit it off perfectly. Only after we started dating, and having sex, she told me all about her. She got divorced, since her husband found another woman. After that, she had the big C, so she had both of her breasts removed (thus the fake boobs), it was a hard healing period, but after she went through it, and her sons moved out, she decided to start a new life, and I was in it.

I don't know what it is, if it's an empty nest thing, blow to self esteem that she suffered from her illness and divorce, or something else, but she became so obsessed with me, so clingy and loving, and caring, that I am about to marry her.

Now, this confession is not about my future marriage, it is about the thing, my obsession, I mentioned at the start. I knew she will do it with me, she would do anything I ask her to, it is not that, it is the fact, that she enjoys it.

At first I thought that she was faking it, but no... I can't go into details, cause this would be too long to read, but let me just tell you, that she is definitely not faking it.

And that's it. I guess the moral of this experience is, that there is someone out there, that shares our kinks, but it is just very, very, very hard to find that person.

So i've never told anyone this story. A bit of background before I start. I've trolled motherless for years now and being from a decently large city so the "underground" sex scene as like to call it was pretty decent. Most any fetisb or fantasy could be had if you looked in the right place or paid the right amount. I'm not a depraved soul but I do have some kinks I like satisfied. I'm happily married now to a normal girl who knows some of my life prior but I've never told her this story. This story takes place about 7 years ago. I was 20 and she was 18 but we had been dating for awhile. Well call her Abby. Over the course of us dating we gradually moved into some other things. We used to smoke weed all the time and her dad let us drink. He had no problem with us having sex as long as I wore a condom. She was incredibly sexy looking. She weighed 120 but she had a nice ass 36dd breasts and a pussy to die for. Was an Innie with a slight but protruding. She has amazing sexy legs and looked good in a tight dress and heels. She had these amazing lips that felt amazing wrapped around my cock. We started off pretty vanilla but after 6 months or so we started doing some off key stuff. We moved into bondage and she enjoyed submitting g. I bought her all kinds of toys and when I couldn't come over we would Skype And she would play with herself for me. Her favorite toy was a thick 10 inches and she would ride it wearing these sexy red heels. If you didn't realize I love a girl who wears heels. Close toed high heeled are my fav. Over time we would get more and more adventurous. We would drive somewhere and smoke and we'd fuck. The epitome of this was at Walmart we were fucking after getting super high and when we finished we looked up and saw we had an audience. She noticed and we left but when we got back to her place we fucked so good. We started to move into other things. We'd bang out in public out of the car on the car. We eventually started fucking on omegle. We started to do dares and we'd get more daring. It started off nice. Like I needed to wack off in the mall parking lot or shed have to flash a trucker. I started to make it crazier and crazier. The craziest was when undated her to let me tie her down and leave the hotel door open. She was reluctant but agreed after I pestered her. I sat in the closet and waited. Some people walked by and some guys actually walked into the room but never did anything. To keep her from being mad I never told her about anyone seeing. One day the guy who supplied us weed dropped off the map so we had to get a new supplier. Her parents were out of town so we had the house to ourself. We got drunk and smoked the weed and didn't realize til later it was laced. I don't know what it was but it caused her to change. She gave me the best head I've ever gotten. For some reason something changed in her and next thing I realize she's on the floor with her dog and blowing him. I'd never been into zoo before but this made me so fucking hard I had to fuck her. Ya. I don't know what happened. But the first time she was spitroasted was with a dog. I never mentioned it and she didn't seem to remember it so we moved on. We kept the course and one night a month later she went out while I was working. She smoked some of the laced weed and I felt super horny j wanted to watch her on Skype fuck herself. I don't know why I said it but it went something like this."baby if a guy hits in you I dare you to bring him home And fuck him on Skype. She called me on Skype 2 minutes later pretending she didn't get the text. She kept getting dressed and omg. I was fucking rock hard. She was wearing the tightest black dress I'd ever seen in my life. It ended maybe 3 inches from her pussy and she looked fucking amazing. When she was ready she looked st the cam and said "baby I'm headed out now. Don't hang up and she gave me the sexiest wink ever. I kept Skype up and I heard a door about 3 hrs later. To this day I don't knowbshy but my dick propped right up. I had never been so hard in my life. In see her and him walk into the room and she's with an Hispanic dude. My blood is all in my dick and my mouth is super dry as I watch them strip and his dick popped out. I swear to god his dick looked just like the dildo she loved. I'm not anywhere close to gay but jesus fuckj g Christ that dick was beautiful. She proceeds to blow him and hops on top of him facing the cam. Her pussy was stretched so good and she was moaning non stop. She looked at the cam and winked at me. She hopped off and bent over the and he fucked her from behind before blowing his load down her throat. They lay there before he left a little while later. She was panting as she walked up to the cam and asked if I enjoyed it. I had literally no words. I pretty much came my pants when she swallowed his load. She smoked a bit more as we chatted like nothing happened. Her dog made another appearance and she looked st me and said "watch this" since this content is no longer allowed on ML but she did something I had always wanted to watch. The next day she texted me and thanked me for a great night. She had no idea what she did. Little did I know our life would get even more depraved. Let me know if you guys went to hear more. It feels good to get it off my chest after all these years. Not even my wife knows this. You can believe this story or not but I guarantee you all this is 100% true. I might have left some things out because of my drug addled brain at the time and the fact I'm on an phone. Thanks for reading this guys and gals.

january 20 is a day i will never forget.

it was 2006. i was backpacking in europe. i had just arrive in england and stopped in manchester. i unloaded all my crap at the hostel and went to a random pub to spend the evening and take it easy with the locals.

went to this place that seemed cool from the outside. an old school style english pub. exactly what i wanted. had a few pints, chatted with some friendly guys and girls. but there were a lot more guys as you would see in most bars.

had a great time and a few hours and pints later got a little sloppy. at the end of the night i got invited back to a flat and hang out. so i went. we were 2 guys and a girl. had a good time and then the girl left.

the guy asked me if i realized i went to a gay/lesbian bar. i had no idea. it was 2006. not like today where a bunch of drag queens and rainbow flags would be the dead giveaway. i said i didnt know and that i was straight but didn't care because i had a great time and met great people.

this dude literally pulls out his wallet and offers me 150 quid to watch me shower and stroke me. i laughed it off as a joke and he offers me 50 more to finish on him. then he smiles and tells me this is his kink and the more i do the more he pays.

i laugh and tell him to show me the money up front. he goes to another room and comes back with a wad of cash. i was pretty drunk, adventurous, and young. so i went for it

he showered me and massaged me. put me on his bed and bent me over. he licked my asshole for the first time ever. he then got on his bed and started jerking off. i sat on his face and he went to town with his tongue on my balls and asshole. i slapped my cock on his body at his request and blew a load on his chest. i then watched him cum on my cum and scoop it to his mouth. it was fucking gross and gagged. he laughed.

i showered again, had regrets in the shower. when i got out of there my pocket was heavier.
fast forward to today. i have a wife and kids and nobody knows about this. never had another gay experience. life before smart phones and social media like today was so good with anonymity.

I wish Pan/Bi/Gay/Etc. had the same options a dominate woman has.
Someone to care for me and want to make me happy and content.
I have cared for those who I love and they loved me.
I have also been hurt or should we say others damaged my body in pure hate and lack of care for anyone.

Years have not been good to me.
People seem not to value someone who has placed others before their own future.

Now middle aged and no one in my life I fear nothing but losing everything is all that's left.

I see so many types of kinks and fetishes including those who have a need take care of and do for others.

I am not dominate or submissive but have taken charge when the need has sadly come up.

I have cried as I could do nothing but be by the side of who I love as they fade away.

If someone loved me and gave all to me, cared for me, made the rest of my life stress free and make a place with them where I need not fear or stress over anything anymore. Someone who truly loves to love me and wants to do everything for me because they want to just as those who state just that about wanting a woman to do and be all for them. I dream as there is someone for others that there is someone for me.

I can dream of many things that if they want, they can hear my thoughts and dreams and share in them. I want them to tell me their dreams and we watch and find many sane and safe things we can explore and try and I hope enjoy and crave more of.

If they need to do things then I would love it if they would tend to my body in playful ways as they clean and care for me and turn me on and drive my cravings for many things.
We share many things in our life. Many common everyday things.

With a dominate person, Many on their profiles or write where they love and dream to pleasure and do any dirty thing that pleases with great pleasure. They say even if placed in pain would please the dominate then the submissive would enjoy what ever pain given to them.

I am not like that.
I would enjoy sharing joy and pleasure with who would be selfless and giving to me.
They say they at any time are ready to sexually serve and worship their love.
Someone being all those things to me and truly happy to do it and even more seeing me happy would build the need in me to also just out of the blue want to do nice things to them.

If they are always giving oral and anything I love and always tempting me to get oral or give them anal or even to give me a hands free orgasm from anal then I would love to have them near, hold them, touch them, touch their body in ways I hope excites and gives pleasure and even when they are erect I give oral and when they cum I swallow it all and suck and lick them more just for fun.

If they are clean and ready for anal I may just finger them and give oral and make them cum if they wish me to make them orgasm when ever I feel.

If they get clean and offer their ass to me to take any way I dream then I would love to.

I also want them for my pleasure to clean and then give anal but stopping before they cum and then repeat and train to last only leaking precum into me while making me closer and closer to an orgasm just from pleasing my anus in all the ways I dream.

Do they want me to piss in their ass?
Do they want to drink it direct from my dick?

That and all kinks are up to them as I am not going to make them.. But I will help provide what I can to feed their kinks in ways I can...

If there is someone out there for me who dreams of someone different to be submissive to and would like how I return love for theirs then there is hope I will not die in fear of being un cared for it loved forever....

I wish there were groups who could match mindsets and ways of not taking risks to place the other in any harm...

If with others who stay safe and take no risks and only share them self with the loyal lovers they match, I know I would not need to hold back anymore and we could go sexually crazy :)

No i did not ask for someone to be rude to this post...
I do not attack you so if you have nothing good to say then please find someone who wants that and attack there...

I am not one you would have any issues with if a neighbor and you just respected my rights as I would yours...

We all are different and can support the others cause and wishes so no one can take them away us.
Be well and have open minds for all :)