"It's their first summer as college women, matching like sisters and swimming in the ocean. Who needs bathing suits" This was seriously posted on social media lol

They were playing the Eagles game at the restaurant that I work at. The manager was being very cool about us watching the game with customers. Very cool about us watching the game instead of polishing silverware, folding napkins, etc.

My tables were all taken care of so I started watching the game.

And then I said “Yeah!! Nice! First down!”

Then I looked a bit closer.

“Oh! Wrong team!!”

A waitress rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah… Jimbo… I was kind of wondering there.”

So I’m not quite the american football fan that I pretend to be.

Kind of embarrassing.

Anyways, I didn’t immediately notice that the opposing team had our green colors.

I made this post in response to Viper2121's memo stating that chat needs me to be online saying stupid stuff so that folks have something to laugh at. So when i'm not on chat here is some stupid stuff i say in real life.

Well this is my first post here. What does everyone think I should talk about

What would you do to my little sissy ass? Just bottomed for the first time and can’t wait to get my tight hole ripped open again😍 tell me how you would use me or you and some friends. I’ll post more if you get me hard. Use my holes however you want… 

Hot hot stepdaughter
#1I confess that my 28 year old stepdaughter gets me sexually aroused. She has turned into such a beautiful woman. Every time I see her I get an instant hard on. I dream of cumming on her pretty face.
Recently that dream became reality.
My stepdaughter no longer lives in the same city as us so I don't see her often. But when I do I get an instant bone.
Recently my stepdaughter was in to town to visit us and friends for a few days. We still had her old room setup in the basement so she had a place to stay.
On the 2nd night of her visit she was going out for drinks with some friends. She was all dolled up wearing a tight little black dress. She was so hot. A friend picked her up and off they went. My wife and I stayed home and watched some tv.
Later in the evening my stepdaughter called us asking if we could pick them up because they drank way too much. So we jumped in the SUV and picked up her and 2 of her friends. We dropped her friends off then proceeded home. When we got there the stepdaughter was unable to walk on her own. We helped her to the house and downstairs to her room. We turn on the lamp on the nightstand in her room so we could see. We sat her on the bed. She fell back onto the bed and out pretty much out immediately. Still wearing that little back dress. We left her there and went back up to the main floor.
I wanted to finish watching a movie but my wife was tired and wanted to go to bed. So she went to our room which was upstairs. So my wife is upstairs, stepdaughter downstairs and I'm on the main floor watching a movie. But thinking about my stepdaughter.
I'm rubbing my hard cock over my pants thinking of her. I then pull my cock out and start stroking thinking about how much I want to unload on her pretty face. Then it dawn's on me. Why just think about it. I get up off the couch and head downstairs stroking my cock the entire time.
I enter her room. The lamp is still on. Not a bright lamp but enough that I could clearly see my stepdaughter lying there. Still in the same position we left her. On the left side of the bed lying flat on her back.
I'm a few feet away from her stroking my cock. Slowly getting closer until I'm right up to the bed. I'm now stroking my cock right above her face. My god she is so hot. I'm going to cum. So I stop stroking and turn around and walk away thinking cumming on her is a bad idea. But I turn back and look at her and I can't resist. I go back to the side of her bed and slowly stroke my cock over her face. Every time I'm getting close to cumming I stop stroking for a few moments.
Eventually I get the nerve to touch her face with the head of my cock. I lightly touch her forehead and quickly pull my cock away. My cock got even harder. I repeat this touching different areas of her face with my cock. Her nose, left cheek, chin. I was scared to touch her lips thinking she would wake. Eventually I did touch her lips. She didnt wake.
These were just very quick and light touches. I escalate more. I'm now stroking my cock while rubbing it on her face. From forehead to nose to cheek and mouth. I have never been this horny before. I am going to explode but I tell myself that I will stop and turn away before I cum.
It's too late. As I'm rubbing my cock on her left cheek I explode. Across her left cheek and over her lips. I then shoot a stream of cum on her nose and between the eyes. The a couple of more streams on her forehead and in her hair. Then I went back to her mouth with the last few drops between her lips.
When finished I smeared my load allover her face with my cock the gave her a couple of slaps on the face with my cock. Maybe too hard. She regained consciousness briefly. She looked at me and saw my cock which was still very close to her face. She wiped some cum from her left eye then rolled on her side and went back to sleep.
I left thinking how am I going to explain this. I was sure she would tell her mother. The next morning my stepdaughter had a shower first thing in the morning washing off any evidence. We sat at the breakfast table and no one mentioned it. I don't think my stepdaughter knew what happened. She was incoherent.
I have never been that horny and excited in my life.

Ok so I posted this already https://mlps.pika777.eu.org/V927AD58 and wow I am still really freaked out right now today has been so weird first my girlfriend and I went out for breakfast with her dad and I couldn't talk at all because I just kept thinking about stuff so we get back home and she asks me what's wrong and I decided to tell her about all the things that are happening. So I said you know how you said you're ok with the idea of me doing things with other guys snd she nodded and said "oh are you finally going to tell me about the adult store?" And I panicked and froze and she laughed and said it was ok one of her friends had seen me go in like 3 weeks ago which is the last time before yesterday I think and I nodded and she asked me how long and how often I went in and I said for a while it was just a thing sometimes but I told her I just didn't want it to be a big deal and felt like it just needed to be a secret and I said I was sorry and she laughed and said it was ok she understood she wasn't mad but she said if I had told her sooner then she could hsve went with me so she could watch and we both got turned on and fucked then she had to shower to get ready for work. While she was in the shower though I told her there might be a weird problem and she asked what so I told her about my bosses husband and how he wanted to get with me again and she laughed and said "well yeah after as much practice as you've had I bet you're really good at sucking dick" and she was kinda sweet about it so it helped me feel a little better but I said I was worried because I really like my boss and my job. She thought about it while she got dressed and said that she didn't think he would do anything to cause me to get fired but she understood why I was worried. As she was leaving I asked if I should text him to meet up and talk and she laughed and said "you wouldn't get much talking done with your mouth full" and I love her and know she was being cute but I just said "you're probably right" and she kissed me and went to work. I just chilled for a while and watched some movies then fell asleep she finally came home (6 hour shift as a receptionist) and she said she had been thinking and that I should wait a few days to make sure things are good at work then text him to talk and just let him know that I think he's cool and would like to do stuff with him but talk about the job and my boss so he knows I'm worried. I told her I'll do that and then she started whispering in my ear about wanting to watch me suck dick and we fucked again I'm posting this before I go back to bed she's asleep already. If anything interesting happens I'll try and post some more it helps to calm me a bit knowing I'm thinking it through as I type.

Can anybody take control of my vibrator? I've been so busy this weekend and haven't been able to have a single orgasm : ( Can't wait for someone to take control of it and tease my cunt. I'll post a link in the replies to control it for a few minutes. The first slider controls my clit and the second my g-spot.

Hi all. My boyfriend asked me to post a couple of pics. I'm a little nervous but also admittedly excited to show off. Here is the first of two pictures.

Long time reader, first time post. I confess that most days I just want to find an ad on craigslist for the classic casual sex for drug exchange. I'm 8 yrs sober but loved getting stoned and sucking/ stroking cock..

ACCIDENTALLY INGESTED BREAST MILK - WTF?!
Last night I hooked up with this African chick, mid 20s, single mum. Quite big and with a massive ass, Kenyan ass to be specific and massive tits as well.
Overall it was an easy conquest, she was really really keen to meet up for a while. For a big girl with a kid her pussy was quite tight and she was extremely wet, to the point that as I was naked on top of her my cock slid inside of her with no assistance. 

I also ate her massive ass and made sure to tell her it was so big that I couldn’t breathe, she claims to have never done anal, however my tongue slid in very very easily and lightly gaped her.
If she’s being honest about no previous anal experiences, then I may have to visit her again and make her asshole acquainted with my cock, as it appears to stretch easily….

ANYWAY…
As we were making out, I went to suck on her tits, the first time around I felt a sweet taste and didn’t think much of it…thought it may have been a moisturiser or something…
However…the second time I went to suck on her tits I did so quite hard and felt a squirt on my tongue, same exact sweet taste…I then realised it was fucking milk bros…I thought what the FUCK?!

In all fairness…for all I know she’s fat enough to be incognito pregnant or something…not sure when the milk kicks in to be honest and her kid is like 4 I think…surely you’d stop producing milk after that long?

What I do know though is that immediately following the milk injection I really really struggled to cum, I was able to block that thought out for a bit and just get it done. But when post nut clarity kicked in…fuck man I was so grossed out, that shit made me want to vomit and I had to get out of there pronto…I can’t get the memory of the taste out of my head. 

What the fuck man…Has this happened to anyone else? How did you feel after the fact? Sometimes when I do weird shit im fought between disgust and hedonistic pleasure, but this time…fucking yuck bro 

I confess this is my first post, but i thought id share with you about a few years ago i was with a girl who was 19 years old, 5ft 5, and weighed about 100lbs. She was in love with me, but i just didnt want to be tied down at the time so she wanted to be my fuck toy, she would do absolutely anything i wanted without giving it a second thought. She wanted to do everything id ever mention, even the random things that no one planned were either great or just a huge turn on. One thing i still think about is she lived with her family in a single wide trailer, she had 2 younger brothers one about 17 and the other 15, one night with her brothers dad and mom home we were watching tv in the livingroom when her parents went to thier bedroom, and as soon as they did we went into the hallway bathroom where she started to suck my dick. It wasnt long before we were naked and i was fucking her over the sink, out of nowhere her brothers kept trying to come in on us and she was yelling at them to get out, they could have came in and joined for all i care. I ended up cumming on her face and making her walk in the livingroom before she was allowed to wipe it off and swallow it. I dont think her brothers even noticed because it was so dark.
There was another time i will never forget when i was working and she was home alone, her dad cut grass for a living and he had hired a guy she went to school with who really liked her, he was late one day and her dad just told him to go to thier house and he would come get him after the first job. Well she was texting me about it and he showed up, so she had him come in and watch tv with her until her dad got there, well while they were watching tv she layed on the couch on the other side of the room from him and text me. She ended up falling asleep, he got really brave and being as stupid as he was didnt care, so when she fell asleep he pulled his dick out and started jacking off. He actually went and stood over her and came all over her face hahaha, she jumped up and started punching him then she ran to the bathroom and text me about it while cleaning the cum off of her face. Being the pervert i am it made me hard just hearing about it. I told her to take a pic and send it to me, but it was to late she had already cleaned herself off. The only thing i didnt like about that whole day is i wasnt there to see it and do it myself.