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Extreme Dirty Talk

3 Uploads · 57 Members · 1 Forum Posts · 23,853 Visitors
This group is only for videos and the videos all contain the filthiest foul mouthed no limitation sluts talking so dirty that your cock will explode!

Best Extreme Porn

14,352 Uploads · 1,799 Members · 55 Forum Posts · 1,174,887 Visitors
Talk about sexual fetish and post your favorite kinky porn/erotica.WELCOME !!!

The Extremes of Female Scat

98 Uploads · 97 Members · 0 Forum Posts · 27,574 Visitors
In this group we will share and discuss the two main extremes of the female scat kink. If the person does not have a vagina and an asshole, please do not post. We love ya'. But this group is for the love of shit loving females with vaginas. EATINGWhen we talk about eating, we are referring to real shit eating. Not fake in any way. And by that we mean real shit, chew, swallow, a...
In this group we will share and discuss the two main extremes of the female scat kink. If the person does not have a vagina and an asshole, please do not post. We love ya'. But this group is for the love of shit loving females with vaginas. EATINGWhen we talk about eating, we are referring to real shit eating. Not fake in any way. And by that we mean real shit, chew, swallow, and digest. Although a hot female throwing up a stomach full of shit is extremely hot. Especially if another female eats it. But I digress. Here, we only cover real shit eating, and no crappy editing around it. SMEARINGWhen we discuss smearing shit, we mean smearing a lot of it. Going for total coverage of the face, head, body, etc. Not a little playful finger full of poo smear, he he he. No, big double handfuls that go splat right on the face. And thick coats of chunky shit that go all over body. One other thing I have to emphasize here is the female and her interest in the kink. If she is not turned on by the act, we are not interested. We want to see that real hunger in their eyes. We want to watch her body language and to know that she is in subspace. That she is in her Heaven, all brown and stinky. We need that deep dark and nasty desire to be covered in shit. We want them so turned on that the building could burn down around them and they would not even notice. We want them in that one state of existence. Where their belly is distended from gorging on multiple bowel movements. Where they are so weighted down with weeks and weeks of saved up chunky shit drying on their bodies. We want them in a disgusting, stinky, state of bliss that surpasses all else. When sharing a video, please be sure it is at least a few minutes long. Videos that are ridiculously short will be removed.And perhaps most important, we want them begging for more.MH....

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3
Anonymous
@requests
19 Oct 2011 6:05AM
• 3,421 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 17 replies ]

So I saw a video either here or possibly xhamster, I think it was here though, posted possibly under drunk or threesome or swinger and I really wish I could find it again.

It was 2 guys and a woman sitting on a bed, the husband or boyfriend was filming while the wife or girlfriend talked to the other guy. She was pretty heavily tattooed and after the two of them had sex he was extremely out of breath and drank some water and kept asking for a cigarette. She asked if he'd be interested in continuing to play with them because the other four people hadn't worked out. This was definitely a amateur video.

It was one of the hottest things I have ever seen, and unfortunately I don't think it saved in my history for whatever reason. I've scoured every place I can think to look, so now I'm begging and hoping someone knows this video.

Any leads or help would be greatly appreciated!

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@requests
13 Jan 2023 3:05PM
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Hello my wife and I we are a kind of legend of scat on the internet and we have many fans around the world who have followed us across the years ,we are into scat, piss, vomit, fetishes for 35 years with quite bit of experience without any restrictions ,we love playing scat at least 2 time a week in all its forms, we are always naked at home 12 months per year and always ready to play extreme filthy games including shit eating ,piss drinking,full scat smearing, farts smelling, dirty talk, messy anal sex, sex toy
we are both totally addicted to those fetishes and we are seeking


a single bi /100% busty toilet bbw with big fat ass and shaved pussy into the same interests with a quite bit of experience without any taboos and sexual limits,so if you recognize yourself in our request add and you want to live a dirty messy threesome mff with a nice perverted couple you are welcome ,like we are both retired we can accommodate at home without problem ,you must like all perversions we mentioned above and be covid and diseases free

my wife and I we can be also dominant than submissive and we need switch woman
to giving /receiving from USA or Canada only with a naked selfie gallery on motherless
no pics no answer we need someone serious in their steps no spam or false profile

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@confessions
28 Dec 2018 8:43PM
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Hi,

I kind of want to hear your thoughts about something that I am kind of insecure about...
I posted this Anonymously because I don't want to attract the "wrong" people. And I please ask for nice comments or thoughts on this... I'm not comfortable with very explicit stuff...
I don't really know how to start...

I'm in my early 20s, I'm a girl, bisexual and like to show myself...

...To be honest, it's not that I show my body or anything around all the time for everyone to see...
I don't dare doing that. I sometimes, when I feel really good or excited(which happens often I'll admit that), I sometimes decide not to wear a bra and then, sometimes, wear something that is just a bit too low cut or too open or I open up my blouse just too much, so it's possible to take a look inside and then I do as if I don't know. But again, I only do this when I am really really excited or very comfortable.

Please notice that I use the word "sometimes" a lot.

Most of the times when I go out bra-less I do wear something more appropriate but I kind of make sure you can clearly see the outline of my boobs under the fabric or like in the summer I love to wear shirts or tops that are tight fit or sleeveless with widecut armholes, so you can see the sides of my boobs. But further than that is out of my comfort zone(maybe hard to believe but it is).
Talking about this gives me somewhat the same warm feeling...

I have an issue admitting to myself that I have this odd behavior ...

A couple of years ago, I googled something like "going out naked in public"(because I would one day like to do that, or something like that but I don't dare to)I had an idea of what I was looking for but was mostly kind of clueless. This site was somewhere in the results. There even are people(men too) that go a lot further than me(this is probably not news to you but for me I didn't know about it and I was feeling very uncertain about the whole situation and didn't dare talking about it). There's a word for it(nymphomania) but I don't like it. There's a kind of negative image to that word and it's too sexually loaded, but that is my opinion...

At work I would never do this, it probably would get me in trouble or get me fired. I wouldn't like that to happen. Inappropriate behavior is not something I would want to be fired for and as a woman you can get a bad reputation very easily.

When I go out and I'm in the mood, I also find it funny and even cute, when I look up and I see the "oh, I've been caught" look on their face and I actually get a kind of kick out of it and it is very arousing and I almost always am blushing too when they look back embarrassed... I'm usually also very careful about when and where I can do it, I only do that when I really like or have feelings for someone or when I'm extremely aroused. Usually guys don't know how to act and girls make me aware of it or give me that look...

It is not really meant to tease anyone but I know it obviously can seem like I do that.
It's part of who I am and I can't help it.

Don't get me wrong, I really like doing this, if I would dare or if it would be possible or acceptable, I would probably be nude all the time.
When I moved in my apartment, the moment mom and dad were gone home, I took it all off and even pulled the blinds all the way up, it was one of the best things I ever felt and it's still the first thing I do when I get home.
I also find it adorable to see the reaction when I invite a boyfriend or a girlfriend over and when I open the door and then I ignore the fact that I am totally naked. I will get dressed when he or she is not that comfortable with it though.

I kind of also want to stress the fact that I don't go around "doing" everybody. I'm not that sexually active. I only do that when I completely trust that person....

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@confessions
19 Sep 2016 11:36AM
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When I was 19 years old and in college in Florida, I got really heavy into drugs. Mainly party drugs like coke and ecstasy, and of course plenty of weed, but on occasion other drugs as well. I was out of control and living one big party life on my parent's dime while they struggled mightily to pay for me to have the opportunity they never had and go to college. Looking back I feel like a total asshole about it now as they wanted nothing more than for me to be successful and not have to struggle...sorry, I digressed.

Anyway, since I had no money and wanted to keep up my partying lifestyle and since I was always very athletic, in shape and considered "good-looking", through one of the people I met in the party scene I ended up doing some modeling to make some extra money. Pretty low rent stuff, nothing glamorous, but a couple hundred bucks a week.

This quickly evolved into the opportunity to do some "videos". It started with just masturbation videos of me lying in bed, or on a couch or in the shower jerking off. I figured I was going to do it anyway so why not get paid for it and I was getting paid $100-200 per day that I did a shoot. I could sometimes do 3 or 4 scenes in a day. The guy running the operation said he was impressed by my "re-load" ability and also that I had just the right cock for it...I'm about 8 inches, decently thick and my dick looks perfectly formed from shaft to head and can blow pretty big loads even after only a little break in between. I knew that these were primarily for gay guys to watch but I didn't care. If someone gets off from seeing me, so fucking what. I did these for a while and then he asked one day if I'd want to do some full sex movies and photo shoots and showed me some of his portfolio and all things considered the chicks looked pretty hot and we were now talking more like $300-500 per day so I jumped right at the chance.

It was a crazy scene and pretty much everything you wanted was at your fingertips. Women and drugs galore. Parties every night after shooting. We were all in the 18-22 age bracket so it was just a no responsibility show. But as quickly as I made money it went back out the door on drugs and partying. Then one night when we were partying at the main house this director used for shooting videos, him and a couple of the other "big wigs" in their operation asked me if I would be willing to do some more hardcore shit. At first I was thinking they meant bondage, s&m type stuff, but they quickly made it clear they were talking gay action. I immediately said not a chance, I was straight and no way I could do it. They pushed the matter (and a coffee table with a big pile of blow on it) and said that all the actors in their gay shoots are straight guys because that is the look they wanted in their videos, strong masculine men, not femboys. The guys just do "gay for pay" and they also said I could make up to a $1000 per shoot depending on the circumstances. At that point my eyes lit up and I think they knew they had me. I asked them more questions and they said I could be strictly a top and receive blow jobs, that I didn't have to get fucked or suck or kiss anyone if I didn't want to. I could also do bi scenes where a female actress or two would be involved. I said, what the fuck, let's give it a try.

The next week they had scheduled me in for my first scene. I was shaking like a leaf prior to which was totally not like me. In the other stuff I had already done I was totally calm and had no issues getting naked, getting hard and fucking in front of other people. It was a one on one scene with me and another guy. I was going to be swimming naked in the pool and then get out and immediately go to the lounge chair next to the pool when the "pool guy" was going to show up to service the pool and eventually me who was masturbating while watching him clean the pool. I actually was having a difficult time getting hard which was totally not the norm for me, but he came over and began blowing me for a while and soon enough I did get fully hard. I had sunglasses on and just kept my eyes closed and picturing hot women. I put on a condom and ended up fucking him in a few different positions and then to my surprise he end up blowing his load on my chest as he was riding me, then slid off my cock, dropped back down and sucked me to completion taking my load all over his face.

I said afterward that it wasn't that bad, but I didn't think I wanted to do it again...until I got my next offer and more cash. It went on like this for a while and me just doing the fucking and getting sucked. I still was primarily doing straight shoots though. Then the director came to me with a proposal for a scene. It would be me and this girl I had done some straight scenes with and we would be a "married" couple and then another guy who was coming to our house to do some repairs. But he wanted it to be a scene where me and her completely serviced this guy. We all were going to suck and fuck each other, no holds barred type stuff. I was extremely hesitant but he offered up my biggest payday yet and it was a good chunk of money for 4-5 hours of total "work". I was so far gone into the scene at that time that I agreed and said let's do this.

The day came and again I was nervous. I did all my usual prep on my "manscaping" and where I normally do everything I can to keep myself fresh down below, this time I added the step of the diet one of the other male actors recommended and his full enema routine to completely clean me out. The worst thing on a porn set when anal is involved is having a shit accident. It came time for the scene and we were in the bedroom on a king size bed where I was fucking the girl for a while then the "repair" man came in, he joined in with me "thinking" he was just going to play jointly with my wife but then he starts licking my balls and ass and pulling out my cock from the wife's pussy and sucking on it. We go through some more motions and she is sucking him then she tells me she wants to see me suck him and this is it, the moment I took a cock in my mouth. I did what I had to do and then after he fucks her it was my turn to take his cock. I was laying on my back as she sat on my face and then he started fucking my ass. Hurt like hell but I had to put up a good front. He even made a comment that got into the video about how tight my ass was. Anyway, we finished the scene after everyone had been fucked and sucked and I went out that night with some of the other people from set and we got destroyed on drugs and booze. I was fucked up beyond belief and when I got home that night I said that was it, I was done. Absolutely no more of all of it. The drugs the porn, nothing. The next day I called up the director and said to pull me from the stuff he had me scheduled for the next week. He tried to convince me and told me what a fucking amazing job I had done the day before, but I told him I had to get out. I couldn't handle the life and really was regretting all of it. I pulled the plug that day and never looked back.

So, somehow through all of this I didn't flunk out of school. I ended up completing my degree and living out a pretty mundane, boring college life and working a bullshit part-time job in one of the offices on campus answering phones and shit. Really nobody in my "normal" life had any clue about what I had done. My parents were none the wiser about anything I did partying or whatever and were proud as could be the day they saw me get my degree. I started a job with a top consulting firm and in the decade plus since, have worked hard and progressed so much in my career that I look at the "crazy" money I was making from porn and laugh at how little it is compared to now. I am engaged to a very attractive and smart girl who is an attorney and makes plenty of money herself, but also has no clue about my prior life.

I guess my biggest fear is that one day I am going to come on here and see one of my videos front and center. I know they are out there in various places on the web, but they obviously weren't under my real name and the look I had back then was very different than it is now where I am clean cut hair, have a beard, and even back then in a bunch of the scenes I had bleached blonde hair for a while and a deep Floridian tan. I guess my real name and SSN is on file with the porn company somewhere so that could somehow get out, but generally speaking I got away free and clear without any repercussions. Crazy the journey our lives take.

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Anonymous
@confessions
09 May 2012 10:25PM
• 1,565 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 2 replies ]

Ive never told anyone this, for obvious reasons. So here goes..

About 2 months ago a friend of a friend got divorced from her husband. We started talking and made plans to go out one Saturday to the casino by us. I went to meet her around 10, and when i showed up she was already trashed. So we hung out there for a while, had some more drinks...she was extremely flirty the whole time. We went to a bar, had some more drinks and then made it back to her hotel room around 3am. I wasnt drunk, but i was a little tipsy.

We started fooling around, making out, grabbing each other etc. I started fingering her...now she is a very small girl, shes prolly no more than 5'2 110lbs. She was soooo tight. She was enjoying it, and started grabbing at my pants. So i rolled over and took them off, by the time i rolled back she was snoring...

I couldnt believe it, not to be ignored i started fingering her some more, hoping she would wake up and we could continue what we started. She didnt even budge, she just kept snoring away. I slid another finger in, and another, and still nothing. I was kinda mad that she teased me all night, and then passed out on me, so i started to slide her tights down and off her body.

I got up and opened her legs and began going down on her. She was out like a rock, not a single noise or anything, except the snoring. By this time my heart was racing knowing what i was gonna do, so i slid up next to her and worked my cock into her tight pussy. I slowly started sliding it in and out being gentle at first, not really wanting her to wake up anymore. After a few minutes of me being gentle and slow i started to pick up the pace, i figured she had not moved or stopped snoring the whole time, and if she did wake up, i would convince her that she never passed out.

I lifted her legs up onto my shoulder and started driving my cock into her...im a pretty big guy, and i was giving it to her fairly hard, i was shocked that she still did not move. I started spreading her legs, and pulling them together, fucking her just as if i would if she was awake.

After 5-10 minutes of this i decided i should prolly quit while im ahead and end it soon...so the last thing i did was roll her over. and lift up her hips leaving her face down against the bed. I pounded her tiny pussy for a good 5 minutes pretty hard before i finally pulled out and came into my undershirt.

I got my stuff on, and left, texting her saying i didnt feel well and had to go home. She never found out. She texted me asking what happened, and told me she woke up with her pants off, and i just told her we fooled around and then both must have passed out...

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@confessions
10 Oct 2013 8:20AM
• 1,801 views • 0 attachments
[ − ] thread [ 3 replies ]

Ok, so I have a few questions after I "confess."

I have a fiance wo is at this point 6 months pregnant, and is thoroughly uninterested in any type of physical contact other than say a hug or quick kiss on the lips.

It is driving me completely insane, because our sex life before was amazing(3-4) times a day. Our doctor has said that her sex drive would return after the birth if it didn't during the 2nd trimester(which it hasn't). I have gotten pity sex twice since we found out she was pregnant, which I ddon't enjoy as much because she tells me beforehand that she feels bad and wants to "help me," then just lays there and I catch her starng into sace or watching T.V. IT WAS NEVER LIKE THAT BEFORE! So I have started to get quite a bit self conscious because of theae things, and it has been messing with me head.

Serious side note: She does not like me watching porn, and doesn't want to assist with pictures/video of her own. I have a terrible imagination and cannot achieve orgasm without visual stimulation. She knows this and promised I could take pics months ago, but has never let me actually do it even though I have asked.

So i basically have not been able to "finish" myself in about 4 months, and it is starting to get to me. She wanted me to wear my wedding ring(which men do not usually do before the wedding) because girls hit on me a lot. The problem has come from the ring actually. Since I put it on, it seems like girls at work are practically throqing themselves at me. It may be because I make good money and my fiance is a house-fiance(lol), but these hot little 18-23 year olds are making blunt comments to me about things they'd do with 5 minutes alone in a closet or stairwell with me.

The meat of this confession, is that I feel terrible for thinking it because I love my fiance and would never cheat on her, but I have been picturing in my head at work what it would be like to fuck one of the cute little blondes over my desk. She's 18(I'm 27) and always wears either extremely tight spandex or little skirts. The other day she actually started talking about her underwear then pulled her skirt up and showed me her thong following with "oops, i forgot you were in here for a second."

It's getting quite ridiculous, I feel terrible for having these thoughts, so I had a few questions as previously mentioned.

1.) Is this normal for somene who is devoted to staying faithful and loves their spouse?

2.) Do I tell my fiance how these girls are acting, and act disgusted with it?

3.) Do I try to transfer to a new floor/building?

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Anonymous
@chicks
02 Dec 2023 7:31AM
• 0 views • 1 attachment
[ − ] thread [ 0 replies ]

Was talking to this gorgeous creature on one of the chat sites earlier. Got her to go private with me and send me a bunch of photos. I tried to get her to send me some nudes and he only pic she sent was one extremely blurred full body shot. I could see the basic outline of her but couldn't make out much detail.

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Anonymous
@confessions
09 Feb 2025 6:47PM
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This is a 100% genuine account of the relationship that has developed between my aunt (my mother's younger sister) and I over the past 18 months. 

As an outline, I am divorced and 35, she is long term separated and 55 with no kids. 

While going through my divorce, I was living with my mother for a few months until I sorted out my living situation. This ran on and ended up being about 8 months. During this time, my aunt moved in for a couple of months as well while she waited on her house renovation being completed. 

My divorce was not smooth or easy and I had been finding some release through drink and recreation "substances" in powder form(not excessive or debilitating, I have a good job that means I have to be sensible but it does allow for some indulgence).  Judge if you want, it's my choice and I'm able to balance it well. 

My aunt and I have always got on really well. It also helps that she's a very attractive woman and looks about 10 years younger than her true age. Easy going, intelligent and open minded, she has always been a pleasure to be in the company of. 

While both staying at my mother's, I had come in late one night and found her up watching TV and just chilling. My mother works in the care industry and works nights more often than not so we just continued to chat about everything and anything for what seemed like ages. 

I had to excuse myself to go to the toilet at one point (anyone familiar with coke knows the effects) as I was needing to pee as much as I was drinking. While washing my hands and drying them I thought a small bump would be a good idea as the conversation was really going well.

Returning to the living room, we carried on chatting for about 20 seconds and my aunt looks at me, one eyebrow up. "Let me see your face a second..." she reached and pulls my chin towards her and tilts my head back. "Oh really?!!" She says and I realise she's spotted a little bit of powder in my nostril. "Fuck I'm in the shit I said to myself!" She looked at me for what seemed like an hour...."Well??". I started coming out with a lame excuse and she puts her hand up. "Aren't you going to share?" She said. 

As if my heart couldn't race any faster, she confirmed she was serious and went to get a small side plate from the kitchen. I handed her the bag from my pocket and she set herself up with a pair of surprisingly long and fat lines, went in to her purse which was beside her, pulled out a £20 (we are in the UK), rolled it and took a line in each nostril. I was absolutely shocked.

So about 5 minutes later we are both talking out jaws off. It was all flowing so fast and I felt extremely at ease. I was being very open about the stress and my behaviour caused by my divorce. She listened and offered some amazing advice, albeit at 150mph! 

I remember getting a little bit emotional about being so open, not breaking down or crying but I was obviously upset. She moves in and just put her arms round me and gave me an amazing hug and a squeeze. That's when it all kicked off. I can remember she whispered "You're going to be ok, just relax" right beside my ear. I audibly gasped, she pulled back and looked at be and the next thing we are kissing. Hard, fast, intense kissing. 

Being as coked up as we were, our inhibitions had dropped significantly and this was happening. I had no clue where it was going to go as another coke side effect was the total inability to get hard. Despite that, we were both basically naked and after exploring one anothers bodies for what could have been 2 minutes or 2 hours, I was tasting her wet pussy.  

Waking up the next day I had the ultimate fear that I had made a major mistake but we talked and it wasn't awkward at all. 

To cut an already very long story short, we are now in a serious but very secret sexual relationship in which we are yet to find something that's off limits. The taboo nature of it is a major turn on but it has also allowed us to have a very open mind towards so many things. We both love watersports, both ways. Sub/domme spam I end up collared and dressed in whatever way I'm told, choking, pain play, exhibitionism and so much more. We have started to post pictures and video online but we are very careful to keep them as anonymous as possible due to the fact we are closely related. 

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@confessions
10 May 2012 7:16PM
• 2,784 views • 0 attachments
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I am a 44 year old man currently having sexual relations with a 19 year old girl. Let me set a few things straight before we continue. I don�t have a daughter fetish and she doesn�t have a daddy fetish - the age thing is actually irrelevant to the situation although it is obviously very relevant to the confession. Pics or GTFO people - this is a possibility as I do have pics, however, I am not sure if I want to go down that route just yet for her sake as it seems a little unfair. That is not to say it won�t happen, I just need to give it some time and some thought and find out how she feels about it.

Before I begin the story I will say that I can�t go into details about how we met as I really don�t want this to become anything other an an anonymous confession. Especially as it is still going on and believe me I don�t want to fuck that up in any way!

It started when we got talking in an environment that wasn�t creepy or weird - just two adults getting along. We got to know each other over the course of a few months and we found that we had a few things in common. This surprised me as I am not generally into younger girls and was actually in an on and off relationship with someone my own age. She was always flirtatious with me and I found that very flattering and there came a point where we actually found ourselves in a nightclub at the same time as each other and had a dance.

That was pretty much when things started to get hotter. I am not really sure how the youth of today are dancing with each other but this girl couldn�t have got closer to me if she tried, to the point that when the inevitable happened and I started to rise to the occasion she started to grind even more. She obviously had an attraction to me, and I was surprised by this as I am not bad looking but I didn�t think I was the kind of person that a teenager would be attracted to and this girl is drop dead gorgeous. I know what you are thinking, this is the internet so of course she is� She is. She does have low self esteem though, which I am not complaining about. She later told me that I was the first older person that had actually spoken to her like she was an adult. Combined with my ability to make her laugh, this seemed to have pushed her buttons.

Nothing happened that night. I wasn�t really sure how to proceed as this was not something that I had much experience with and although I am an extremely confident man, both in and out of the bedroom, I wasn�t sure that I wanted to seduce a teenage girl. It turns out that it is very hard to resist though when they try and seduce you! Our conversations after this point started to turn a little bit more heated and we did get on to the subject of sex. I found out that she was not very experienced at all and the experience that she had was not great. It wasn�t long after this that we eventually found ourselves alone in my bedroom, and this led to our very interesting first time. If you are interested I would be happy to continue on and describe the moment and talk about how it progressed and some of the experimentation that we have recently been up to. I appreciate that this confession is a bit bland in comparison to some of the others on here but it does have the potential to heat up, I just wanted to tell some people because, well, I am 44 years old and having sex with a hot 19 year old!

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@confessions
10 Jul 2017 9:48PM
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I used to masturbate onto birds at a local park. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the pigeons would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. My pigeons preferred white bread but healthier birds might have a taste for honey wheat or maybe even multigrain. Fat, unhealthy birds are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the pigeons to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your bird. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the birds, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the bird and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those birds reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of birds, cock throbbing and waiting for them to land close to me.

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@random
05 Feb 2012 6:07PM
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Restaurant etiquette


After having worked in and patronized restaurants for many years, I've noticed a decay in the behavior considered to be "acceptable." As a result, I've decided to outline what is included in proper restaurant etiquette for those ill-informed individuals who continually bend the boundaries.

SERVICE INTERACTION:
-When your server greets you and asks how you are, "coke" is not an acceptable answer. Servers are people too, and by asking how you are, a waiter is simply attempting to engage. Be human. Answer.
- Waiters and waitresses are not less intelligent than you because of where they work. Many times, they are college students who are extremely intellectual. As a result, they are well aware of your assonance. Don't make yourself look like and idiot. Be kind.
-If your food has been poorly prepared, then please, by all means, send it back. But, if you forgot to specify something or if you just don't like what you chose, it is not the responsibility of the waiter or waitress to make your mistake correct.

TIPPING:
- TIPPING IS NOT OPTIONAL. Period. Generally speaking servers make far less than minimum wage and depend on your gratuity for their income. If you don't tip, your are thieving the services you have received. You cannot choose weather or not to pay for something you have purchased, and would not expect to leave the supermarket without paying. So, pay for the service you have received. *Additionally, most servers tip busboys and other staff based on their nightly sales. As a result, your presence at a table will cost a server money. This means if you do not leave a tip, you are literally stealing from the person who served you- they will still have to pay money for your check.
-Acceptable tipping rates include: 15% or your check (before discounts) for standard service, and 20% for good service. Occasionally, for excellent service, you may decide to leave more. You should never leave less than these amounts unless you have a serious complaint with the service you received.
-Factors that should not negatively influence the amount of tip you leave include: the quality or quantity of food, the condition of the restaurant, weather or not you liked your food, how much your bill amounted to, or atmosphere. Servers cannot control these things. It's not their fault if you don't like your burger.
-If you stay at a table for an extended period of time, you should increase the amount of tip you leave. Servers make their money by serving tables. So, if you are occupying a table for an extended period of time, you are preventing them from making money. Tip appropriately.
-If you can't afford to tip, get take-out. Most restaurants offer this option. Times are tough for everyone, including the servers.

GENERAL BEHAVIOR:
-Talking loudly on your cell phone is disruptive to other patrons. Your call is not more important than other people's enjoyment.
-If there is a wait to be seated, you must wait to be seated. This is a lesson of kindergarten. You cannot cut in line simply because you "don't feel like waiting," or because you "have somewhere to be." Everyone else feels the same way you do.
-Noise levels should be kept to an appropriate indoor level for a public place.
-Profanity is disruptive. Avoid it.
-Vulgar stories should be shared at a low volume.
-Feel free to share positive experiences with staff along with negative ones. It is nice to hear good things, too.
-PAY YOUR CHECK. Restaurants remember you, and stealing is stealing.

I hope this information is helpful, and will promote good behavior.

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22 Apr 2024 3:34PM
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I grew up in a very conservative family. I was a virgin when I got married. He was the only man I’d slept with until I turned 50, and we barely had sex for 25 years. On my 50th birthday, I signed up for an online dating app. After about a month I started talking to a guy that I found interesting. On a whim, after 3 or 4 conversations I agreed to meet him in a hotel room. To this day I can’t believe I mustered up the nerve to do it, but I did. When I walked into the room I was shaking and could barely talk. He knew how inexperienced I was, so he immediately took the lead and said in a very reassuring voice “you have nothing to worry about, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do”. He told me to get on my knees in front of him and take off his pants. I was beside myself, but did as I was told, barely believing what was happening. He told me to take his cock in my hand and rub it, saying “watch me get hard….see what a good job you’re doing? See how hard you’re making me?” I couldn’t take my eyes off of it…he was much bigger than my husband, and I remember thinking at the time that he was huge, but in hindsight now I know he was only slightly larger than average. Anyway, once he was rock hard, he had me stand up, and he laid down on the bed. He told me to get on my hands and knees between his legs, and he said “Now I’m going to show you what your mouth was made for”. I’d never really given a blowjob, my husband didn’t like them at all, but somehow I started to relax, knowing that he would guide me through it. We spent the next 10–15 minutes with my mouth wrapped around his cock, him telling me how to hold my tongue, guiding my mouth up and down with his hand on the back of my head. I remember his telling me that he was surprised how deep I could take it. He told me that I was a natural and that my mouth was made for sucking cock. He told me several times that he was proud of me, and telling me I was a good girl, which I found very reassuring for some reason. By this point my nerves were gone and I was totally focused on his pleasure. He continued to guide my head for a few more minutes, then he said “ok, now I’m going to hold the back of your head and fuck your mouth . I want you to just slide your tongue back and forth on the bottom of my cock and I’ll tell you when I’m about to cum. There are going to be 4 or maybe 5 blasts of cum into your mouth and you just focus on swallowing it as fast as you can”. He then put both hands on the back of my head and started rhythmically pushing his hips up and down. After about a minute he said ‘I’m going to cum” and it was exactly as he’d explained. Cum started pumping into my mouth and I swallowed it all. When he was done cumming he pulled his cock out of my mouth and started rubbing it all over my lips and cheeks. I had a huge smile on my face as he told me “That, Suzy, is what your mouth was made for.”Wow, Sorry this story is going on so long! I’ll try to speed it up.so after a minute or 2 he told me to stay where I was and he got off the bed and stood behind me, his cock still rock hard. He said “Now I’m going to show you what your pussy was made for” as he lifted my dress and pulled down my panties. He slid a finger inside me, and when he saw how wet I was he said “That’s my good girl!” Then he told me “I don’t want you to think about anything…just focus completely on your pussy”. Then I felt the head of his cock starting to enter me and I immediately had an orgasm which made my kissy clench hard and pushed him out. He said “you ARE extremely tight…a pissy like this was made for being fucked” and he slid his cock back it. This time he got it all the way in and I had the biggest orgasm of my life. He grabbed my hips and held on tight so my clenching wouldn’t push him back out. Waves of pleasure just kept rolling over me as he started pumping his cock in and out, long steady strokes. He told me “Your body was made for cock” and “my good girl needed this bad”. He started fucking me harder and harder, slapping my ass as my orgasms just kept coming. I felt the pressure building and building until I had the biggest orgasm yet and I squirted for the first time. This seemed to really get him going because he immediately started pounding the hell out of me, telling me what a great fucktoy I was, until I squirted again…and again…and again. His moans got louder and more guttural and finally he said “Time for me to fill that pussy” I had another big orgasm as he pumped his cum deep inside me. My legs were shaking uncontrollably as he pulled his cock out of me and rolled me over onto my back, crawled up on the bed and knelt beside me. “Open your mouth” he instructed and slid his cock back in my mouth “A good girl always licks the cock clean after it fucks her”. I loved the taste of his cum and my pussy mixed together. Then he quickly got up, got dressed, and kissed me on the forehead saying “I’m really proud of you, you did an amazing job”. Then he left. I just layers there for a bit with a sore jaw and dripping pussy, processing what had just happened. I had just been used as a fucktoy, and I loved it.

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