I confess that I'm likely going to regret never fucking my best friend. He's not in the "Friend Zone" or anything like that, we're reasonably close but a while ago he made it very clear that he wanted to fuck me. I was down for it but we didn't exactly have a set time a place. Either way I feel like that window of opportunity my be closed forever. I've tried going all the way with other guys and even a couple of girls but I keep thinking about my friend.

If you're reading this I should've taken your offer of going back to your place for booze, steak and hopefully ending up on all fours in your bed or sucking your dick.

Signed,

K

Steak anyone?

I confess I want another weekend like this past weekend.

My daughter which is 22 came in for the weekend . Her and her friends wanted to get together at the house and me fix steaks for supper. I didn't know it was gonna turn into a drinking get together. They played a game called Kings cup(I call it circle of death).
Time had passed and it was getting into early morning of the next day. I couldn't hang cause I had to get up early. I went to my room and changed into my pajamas.and tank top. I laid down and was awoke by a loud noise . I got up to see what it was one of her friends had fallen out of the chair. I told my daughter it was time to shut it down and go to bed. Her and her friends agreed . By the time I got the kitchen cleaned up I went to my room and two of her friends were in my bathroom with the door open. I won't say a name but one was sick and throwing up . The bad part was she was in her panties and bra. The other friend friend said hold her she had to pee. I thought she was gonna go into the other bathroom but heck no she dropped her pants and peed right there. She got finished and said watch her she was gonna go get her shorts.
While she was gone the other friend wanted up so I reached around and picked her up . But with no surprise my cock was getting an erection. Her other friend came back and said sit her on your bed I did . I went back into the bathroom to see if I had a mess lucky there was none. I came back in there and her friend had taken the other one bra off and was trying to put her in a tee shirt. Dang she had some firm boobs..
I know the erection was getting noticable by now. Her friend said she is gonna have to stay in my room cause there was no room in the other bed. We slid her over and covered her and when I stood up my cock had found its way out cause a button had came undone.
The other friend noticed and said something make you excited? I cdidnt know what to say but I told her yeah. She ask if both of the could stay in there I said I guess I could go sleep on the couch. She said no there was room. She crawled in the middle and I had the out side. I was nice but thinking of how they looked . Short time later she had to get up and go to the bathroom needless to say when she tried to get up and cross over me she bumped my erected cock.
.She went to the bathroom and came back and crawled over me again but this time she stopped mid stream and sat across me. No my cock wasn't in her so don't think that. . But she did grab it and make it explode. After that I got up and washed my cock and went to bed but I did get to snuggle up to her.

I want another weekend like this again and it might be different

Once upon a time, a Man asked a beautiful young woman,"Will you marry me?"

She said,"NO!"

And the Man lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged long-legged slender big tittied broads and hunted and fished and went to strip clubs and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and wine and stayed out till sunrise and never heard bitching or complaining and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate steak and potatoes and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end

Barbeque Skills

My ex and family members loved my grilled salmon.

[Salmon is an oily fish. So if you overcook it a bit then it's no problem. It doesn't get dried out quickly like other meats will. It's almost hard to fuck up.]

A decade before that a lot of guys gave me props for my grilling skills.

[A lot of guys would come over to the house because my sister was very attractive. They were happy to be there. And they'd have given me props if i gave them McDonalds.]

My point is that i don't really have "Barbeque Skills!!!" I am very limited! I know a basic thing or two.

And if someone sent me the worlds greatest marinade or barbeques sauce then i'd be afraid to use it. I fear that i'd fuck it up.

Context: Someone gave me some great barbeque Marinades/Sauces. And will be going back to that person seeking specifically how to use these products. If I need go get some pork chops, steaks, onion and/or whatever then that is perfectly fine and I’ll be grateful for the advice.

My current "go to" barbeque is seasoning thighs. cover them and oil. Sear on Barbeque.

Take off the grill add to a casserole dish with sweet sticky barbeque sauce. Bake slow and low at 350 or so.

chicken thighs

YellowPotatoes 54

Kind of difficult to fuck up, methinks.

i confess pouring wine in every meal you cook is NOT classy you fucks. a few tablespoons of red wine on your steak does not make you a good chef. especially if its just cheap-as-dick 4 dollar Sangria or gas station vino. you fucking middle class faggots.

I am a lesbian and I have a thing for my mother. weird right. I knew I was gay since I was 14, had my first relationship at 17 and later at university I found out I liked older women. I was exclusive with a woman (35) my first year at uni.

During my summer break I went home and one evening I spied my mom and her boyfriend in the living room. I didn't run away but watched from the top of the stairs. My mom is beautiful and sexy and couldn't take my eyes off of her body. I went to bed and jilled off hard that night. That weekend I went to the bar and cruised for an older cougar and found one close to how my mom looks. We fucked hard all weekend and parted ways but I kept her number.

The next weekend my mom had a barbecue and a few friends over. Mom got quite drunk and while Lui kept friends company I helped mom to bed. I must say I took advantage of her, helping her undress and put on pj's. I copped a good feel and even said she looks hot for a mom. She was so drunk she said she doesn't remember anything after getting her plate of steak. So I guess she doesn't remember me laying her down with my knee pressed to her crotch, or when I felt her breasts and pinched her nipples. Or how I stuck my tongue to her lips when I kissed her goodnight.

Where do I go from here? What kind of hell is there for me now??

My when I went to ask my ex's father for permission to ask him to marry her, did the usual thing went to his house and cooked him some steak and had some beers. After we ate we sat for awhile shooting the shit until I finally asked him, he sat quietly for awhile, then asked if I was certain about wanting to marry her. And if I would do anything to have her and protect her. I said of course no matter what it took I'd do it for her to be my wife... He said bullshit and said "you'd do anything, let's see" I heard him undo his belt and push his shorts down and told me to come suck his cock. So I did he lasted 10 minutes or so before cumming in my mouth and took a pic of his cum in my mouth before I swallowed. He was still hard and told me to get completely naked so I did and bent over the table he fucked me for 45 minutes outside before we moved into their bedroom where we spent next few hours fucking. My girlfriend even called at one point to see when I'd be home as I was riding him. When we finished I left and got home to my girl and her mom sitting in the living talking and my chick went to pee and her mom said I had their blessing to propose.

Whoopi Goldberg wants to feel your tube steak in her cavity tonight ;)

I cooked up a delicious juicy NY Striploin Steak for myself earlier today topped with zesty Pizziola Sauce. Sided with heavenly browned butter smashed potatoes. Yummyville.

Hey- just gonna post whats going on with me and my neighbor. I post, in looking for advice on how to take it to next step maybe, ideas and what to say.

About a week ago, i was talking with her and told her i was depressed and we were just chatting, and us each being single i took her up on her offer at end of the night when she said"well, how about i do something that will make you feel ALOT better" im like"gladly go on!" she then proceeded to give me 1 of the best blowjobs of my life, was amazing, she like kept it in her mouth for 15 minutes straight, when she got tired she just held it on the head for a few seconds then with full force did full up and down thrusts with her mouth. It was just pure heaven. So i obviously enjoyed myself and thanked her and she went on to her house and that was it.

Then, 2 nights ago she came over again to just to see how i was doing and offered to cook me up some steak. I of course say sure. WE chatted about life in general, parties, gambling and $$$$ situations and boyfriend/girlfriend problems. I learned from chatting with her shes in debt pretty bad and she had bad luck finding boyfriends and i can honestly say shes just an awesome girl all around, easy to chat to and all and fun to be around. Me personally, im just lonely alot because the majority of my real friends moved on to college when i chose i didnt wanna go and gamble for a living on a poker game(its skill game thats a whole other arguement for doubters on that, thats not important) so i basically got gambling buddies who i go to casino with all the time. I am well off with $$$ because im real smart and good at what i do. So i look at this girl Sara(my neighbor) and get ideas of turning this into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing and i need ideas how to make this happen?I think i kind of blew it tho by degrading her, i will explain what we did 3 nights ago and i think it hurt my chances at being her legit boyfriend, i dunno if its too late though.

At the end of dinner we were just playing yahtzee and chatting about the goods and bads of my life and when she asked me what was something i want that i dont got i told her the truth my main thing. I told her"to be honest its just a girl to be there for me when i need her im a man is that so bad to say?" I only said this because she was honest to me about alot of personal things. Any single guy out here surely knows how fuckng frusterating it is to look at hot girls online and real life and then settling to just jerkoff and not get your dick sucked right? So anyway at the end of the night when we were saying our goodbyes she turned around to leave and im like"Sara?" she turned around and i walked up to her and said"you knnow, what you did to me the other night felt amazing and i just want you to know that (then i smiled) I said it JUST like that so she gets the point ya know. She then sat me down and said"listen, as you know i care about you- you are a sweet man, and i just felt horrible for you and wanted to make you happy!!!! also, giving blowjobs the way i do, makes me all messy and unable to go out without showering and re doing my hair" She told me"its a project" "its hard to do right" I agreed with her and she told me"ill do it whenever im going right to bed or right home, but not tonight because i have to go to the gas station and buy some things for a friend and see her" She then gave me a kiss on cheek and walked off. As she was walking off i said"Sara?" she walked back over and i said"i really reaaallly can use your help tonight" What can i say, im a gambler and tried asking again(is this bad?)

She sat back down on my couch and said"ok well if im going out of my way, you will have to make it worth my while!! and i dont want you thinking im a hooker or anything, its just im doing you this favor and its really going to inconveinence me" So i said fine, and then we started negotiating prices and i was like"some girls charge 100 150 an hour but thats full sex and im not getting that!" She was only willing to give me a rough blowjob/sensual one, however i liked i(facials allowed/dirty talk/ whtever i wanted).She went on to tell me she had friends of hers that gave head for 20 bucks 40 bucks and she thought that was standard, but extra and more"fun bjs" should be more sometimes! WE couldnt really agree on a price and then she looked across the room at the bingo game/machine that i had in my closet. She pulled it out and said"we can use this" Im like, "hmm now thats interesting" She then took out the machine part and said"looks like we have 75 balls here each with a # on them, we jiggle it around and take 1 ball out and whatever it says on it is the dollar amount you give me?" So i looked and said to her"yeah thats cool but you realise the most you can get is $75, and there is a chance you pull a 1 or a 2 and you will only get 1 or 2 dollars. She giggled and said yeah and saying it would be fun. So that was our agreement. So we jiggled the balls around in circles for 30 seconds and then randomly drew a ball and the ball said G51. That means i give her $51 and i get my blowjob. She said"mmm $51 is alot of money im gonna suck you good now, ill be extra good and suck your balls mmm then rubbed my body" So that is what happened, and boy did i throatfuck her well, i never seen a girl other than some porno girls take it like she can, was incredible. After it was over she left. I later called her house and left a message on her answering machine just letting her know i was happy we had a nice time and ANYTIME, literally ANYTIME she wanted to "play bingo" again she can just knock on my door, multiple times a day it didnt matter.

Then last night was a little more complicated(at 1st she skipped a day and i was nervous thinking she wouldnt drop by, not till last night though when she did) ANyway heres what happened. She showed up at 6pm and smiled so i knew what was going on so I just grabbed the bingo game and told her to jiggle and draw a ball and lets get started, she drew I16, she puffed and said"figures, i need 60 more for this or someones gonna be really upset at me" Im like"whatever we have a deal here, now do you want the $16 or not?" She said yes and then told me to unbuckle pants. Again i had the time of my life and this time i was frusterated when i was about to cum and shes like"DONT CUM ON MY FACE" JUST as i was about to cum. so im like"fuck fuck" and just blast on her tits. I was upset, told her its rude to do that, shes like"for 16 bucks im not gonna do that" Im like"listen it coulda been $75 easily, we played fair and square honny" She said she knew and then said sorry and it wouldnt happen again. She then left, and i went to go play some games online and chat with friends.

So then its 11:15 at night and my door knocks and its Sara, she says"do you want to play bingo?" im like lol sure and we go to my bedroom to the machine and she draws a B3, and i smile thinking its funny but she breaks down in tears saying things like"this is horrible, i did a nice thing and now my greed of wanting $$ is making me do this and im drawing bad luck, what am i going do do with 3 dollars?" pout pout pout, wah wah. I then say"listen you know our agreement Sara- if you ever not want to go thru with it, i wont force you it will just be the end of us completely. I gave her 5 min or so to collect herself, she was crying and then she was like"wow i cant beleive im blowing you for 3 dollars!" I told her to think longterm and how shes just satisfying me and its fun and its a nice thing to do with someone.. So as i was laying down receiving the BJ i started talking dirty saying things like"u like that dont ya bitch, suck on it tell me how much of a whore you are" she responded by licking and telling me she loves cock, and just trying to get me off. I then say"SUCK MY DICK LIKE THE 3 DOLLAR WHORE YOU ARE DO IT GOOD BITCH PROVE THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ON THE EARTH! TO SERVE MEN NOW EARN YOUR FUCKING MONEY!" She stopped and started to cry again and told me she couldnt handle knowing shes sucking me off for such a small amount of $$$. She said its hard for her to do, and i noticed the shitty job she did compared to the time she did it for free then the $51 time. I then told her to do it right and then go home for the night, she proceeded to finish me off and then left.

So now today is today and i got a text from her asking if she can come over after she comes home from the mall, and i told her"only if you are happy i want you to stop by" She replied with"i just dont like drawing low # because its too degrading but drawing a bigger # she feels like its a job and fun and worth it. I know this girls got a good heart i really know she does shes just stressing for $$$. I told her"come over, i want to enjoy myself fully with no interruptions and putting a change to the rules tell you when you get here" IT is now almost 330 pm here and she'll be here around 7. When she comes im going to demand her to"blow me the best she can and THEN you draw the ball and find out what you're going to get, that way you cant be upset upfront" She will findout AFTER the blowjob after its done. I think thats fair.

I will report back here when we're done tonight, im also going to try to push it a little bit and try to get her to be my girlfriend, but how should i go about it? or did i allready blow it by this game thingy? Also- i want to get pics/vids of this shit to post here, how can i talk her into that?How can i talk her into letting me fuck her in her tight ass? What ya guys think? I kinda wish i just gave her $$ and not ask for shit and she'll blow me out of sympathy like she did at first, i dunno, i kinda like the desperation shit, turns me on and having her come to me, ya know?
-

Hi guys can anyone link me the video of that girl getting hunted, raped then cooked for food on a pole on top of a fire like a steak?

Steak being prepared slow cooking

I love jacking off with a raw steak might make a video for you guys 

For the past couple of months I've been meeting with a black hooker for amazing blowjobs, it all started with every husbands complaint of after a few years of marriage the sex starts to tapper off. So one day I was super horny and put an add on Craigslist looking for an NSA blowjob, I got a reply from a young black girl who was very close to my work and could host, she claimed she wasn't a full time hooker but just down on her luck and needed some cash. We agreed on $40 for 15 minutes and I got to cum in her mouth.

It was great, so I met with her a couple more times, but at $40 bucks a pop it was adding up, so I struck a deal with her and got her down to $20 every time but I guaranteed I will meet her 5 times a week. Since then I've also managed to basically convince her to let me do anything I want to her mouth for that
15 minutes, and have even gotten her to dress up, or get naked and have been fingering her at the same time.

Since I need to fund this somehow I've stopped eating out and started bringing a bagged lunch, in return I've lost weight from eating better, my boss has noticed my production go up because I tend to only take 5 minutes for lunch plus I'm not tired in the afternoon from a big steak sandwich or something, part of that to is the fact that around lunch I start getting super horny as I email my latest request to my little cocksucker and tend to stay at my desk secretly stroking my cock in anticipation of the afternoons fun to come instead of checking out the office girls all afternoon.

Also right around 7:00 or 8:00 in the evening I start to get horny again thinking about all the dirty stuff I've been doing to this girls mouth and get in the mood, I can't go meet her again so the wife will do. We've been having sex regularly again and because I get most of my perverse cravings taken care of elsewhere I don't mind a little love making, which in turn makes her happy and makes her want to do more for me. This past weekend she surprised me by dressing up slutty and taking it in the ass, which is usually reserved for birthdays and anniversaries.

Recently I've also been conversing with my blowjob girl and have found she rather likes our agreement as she gets some guaranteed income, she knows I'm married so STD free is very important and the fact I'm a good looking guy with a nice, manicured cock makes it enjoyable for her, plus I get her little gifts here and there and am respectful of her boundaries, which quite frankly are non existent when it comes to blowjobs.

Mondays are my favourite because I'm usually having withdrawals and after a couple days of not cumming I have a big load saved up to make a mess all over my little sluts face. I've
already started stroking under my desk so that I have a big, juicy load for her, now my biggest dilemma is to decide what I want to do to her today. Her deepthroat skills are amazing and recently I've been blowing my load when I'm balls deep in her throat, and she able to swallow it without so much as wince, and absolutely no gagging, so maybe that.....

Last week was a amazing, the one day I was in the mood to have her hang her head off the edge of the bed and fuck her mouth, she obliged and I finished all over tits while fingering her. Another day I asked her to put pig tails in her nappy hair and too much makeup, again she obliged and I sprayed a huge load all over her face.
On a few occasions I had her put her tung out for me to fill with cum and then have her swallow it in one big gulp, and all with no complaints.

Friday afternoon I had her sit on the floor up against the bed, I put one leg up on the bed and fucked her mouth with instructions to let my cum dribble out of her mouth onto her tits when I finish, but this time I requested that she beg me for my cum, she was good sport and was very convincing
In her request to "fill my slutty little mouth with cum", and "let me taste that juice".

So now I'm trying to think of new scenarios to try with her, any reasonable ideas? And there is no sex, only oral........

Hello guys, i want to introduce you to some girl named Anna.

She just turned 19 in may, and she is Norwegian. My friend knew her for years but i first met her at a friend�s birthday party last year. She actually caught my attention there because all the other chicks on the party were kind of goths and metal chicks, and she was dressed more normal. I really liked her smile from the beginning , she is really funny and can laugh about stupid jokes that would make most people facepalming ^^also i do not know if you are agree with me on this but somehow that smile and the look with the eyes she is giving i find really sexy like on the picture. because my friend is a metal guy, there was all kinds of metal music and at some point music of the norwegian black metal band "dimmu borgir" started and she shouted along in Norwegian with it while head banging to it. that actually impressed me, the others found it awesome too, that came totally unexpected. if you do not know the band , watch a video of them on youtube the old songs are still Norwegian and not English so you can guess how awesome it was when she shouted/screamed along!

she is not like all these girly girls, she is actually really cool. also you usually hear on grill parties (we made a fire later and grilled sausages and steaks) girls demanding salad or something, we laughed our asses off when she was shouting in the crowd "when is the meat ready??!?!? i�m hungry and need meat!" Yeah meanwhile i have met her with my friend several times to watch a horror movie together. i even found out she lives in my town only 10 minutes walk away from me, i never knew before o.O she likes all kind of metal music and horror movies, she would be a cool girlfriend i bet and definitely my type of girl

I'm going to give you guys some tips on how to be an alpha male like me.

Number one rule...take charge.

Last night my girlfriend was cooking dinner and she over cooked the steak. She knows how I like my steak and I was pissed. I started to yell at her and when she started to get defensive i lowered my voice, stroked her hair with my right hand while undoing my pants with the left. I told her it was ok, i wasnt mad, and i gently pushed her to her knees. I didnt have to say anything after that, she already knew how to apologize just from how confident I was with my actions.

I confess I want to be a nigger farmer. As a white man, I'm tired of all this pale mocha nonsense being passed off as 'ebony'.

I want to preserve the pure nigger race, and supply to the discerning nigger lover.

Whether you want to slice off a juicy steak from the living rump and fry it on a block of granite at 500 degrees at your table while the still-living animal watches, or watch your wife or sister made airtight by a trio of 10" x 4" nigger cocks - I will provide.

Pale white meat will always be with us - if we don't act, the real nigger may soon be extinct.

Racists - examine your feelings. You don't want them gone - you want to control them.

Let me farm them, breed them, distribute them. Everyone wins.

I confess I have a fantasy of torturing and killing the man that raped me when I was 10. It starts with subduing him somehow (chloroform or somethin like that). Id strap him to a butchers block spread eagle. Id start by cutting off his genitals n shoving them in his mouth n then put duct tape over it to ensure he doesn't spit it out. Next I would spread his toes n cut through the webbing as deep as I could go. If he wasn't unconscious after that I would shove a road flare up his ass n light it n watch it burn all the way down. By this time im sure he would be passed out from shock so id wait til he woke up n plunge a steak knife through his eye socket nice n slow, twisting it n turning it gently til it hits his brain. Then id repeatedly use the knife to fuck the same stab wound hard n deep while taunting him til he was dead. Any thoughts?

2 boulettes qui jouent a la cachette,une demande a l'autre ou steak ach�?

Oh my god the oldest chick from the Steak n' Shake commercial with the broken penguin is so fuckkkkkkkkking hot......

Google it..

A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 cent." "ONE CENT!" exclaims the guy. The barman replies, "Yes." So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?" "Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "4 cents", he replies. "FOUR cents!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The bartender replies, "Same as I'm doing to his business."

I confess that I want an old crush of mine to fuck me hard, tie me, spanking my round ass and fucking me on all fours while telling me he owns my tight pussy and my tight little ass.

I imagine me and him talking and hanging out after not talking for a while, just as friends then I call him over one day just to share some drinks and maybe steak. Before he comes over I decide to finger myself and play with my clit while fantasizing about him fucking me and watching me sucking his hard thick cock. I'm so wrapped up in my fantasy I don't here him walk into my apartment until he opens the door to my room asking what I'm doing. I can't hide my hands fast enough and he sees my shaved little pussy and my wet fingers. I'm embarrassed but he sternly asks what I was doing while smirking. I nervously try to lie but he calls me out on it.

"What were you doing Cae?" Matt asks. I fidget a little not wanting to look Matt in his eyes.

"Nothing.....I was uhh." I begin but Matt strides over to the bed but not before slamming the door to my room.

"Answer me Cae.....were you fingering your tight little mocha pussy? Don't lie I heard you moaning and saying you wanted dick inside you." Matt smirks at me, watching my squirm feeling my pussy get wet and my nipples harden under my tank top. I look up at Matt, my cheeks grow red and when I look down again I notice Matt's dick is rock hard. Mmmm I've been wanting to fuck him since we first met when I was 14, but I knew I was too young. Now I'm 21 and one of my favorite fantasies is coming true.

"I was but it wasn't-"

"Oh well well sweet innocent little Cae wants my cock inside her." Matt taunts me, his cock is straining hard against his jeans. Pulls his shirt off revealing his inked up chest, a sexy very detailed sketch of the Grim Reaper, my pussy squirts under my knee length skirt at the sight. I barely notice that I've spread my legs apart and have leaned back on my bed a little. Matt walks towards me and pulls up by my tank top and kisses my hard. Mmmm he tastes like whiskey, fresh cigars and sweat. With his free hand he grips my ass hard then he pushes me hard on the bed before straddling me and ripping my top off and my skirt. Matt gives my neck a nice hard bite making me squeak with both pleasure and pain.

"Alright Cae....you're mine that tight pussy is mine and your tight ass is mine and only mine. While you've been in here fingering yourself I've been pounding tight brown bunnies wishing they were you. Now I'm not gonna lie little girl, I'm gonna fuck like you're a bitch in heat." he growls before pulling his dick out and shoving it into my tight pussy and immediately fucking me hard.

This'll likely never happen but oh well, girl can dream. Maybe one day I can finally reconnect with this hottie. He's an awesome guy and seems to have his shit together.

Pound that Pussy steak?

CHEESESTEAKS AND TAX EVASION

On the day that I turned 18 my father took me to the Italian deli. We sat down and we had cheesesteaks. Wonderful!!! Fresh beef, cheeze and fried onions! Delicious!!!
It was unlike anything that I ever had before!

I liked it very much.

Then many months and months passed by. MIght have been a year.

My father sat me down and had a talk with me. He said “You do NOT take beef from work!”

He said “If you want to take a piece of pie, or a brownie or something then that is fine. But no beef!!”

My father was successful. And the idea of one of his [adult offspring] stealing beef from his employer made him very angry. I was a busyboy, dishwasher and waiter.

And in hindsight I can totally understand the point he wanted to make.

And I’m like “Where do I get this??” I did not know where I could go out and buy this!

My siblings and cousins raved about my good cheesesteaks. But I wanted more than merely “good.” I wanted to use the best cut of beef!!!

I knew what the chefs at work used. And I wanted that!! Where can I get it?

Landis steaks gives a thinly sliced sirloin steak. Very good. Costs a few more nickels. But if you compare it to …..

[YellowPotatoes drinks more.]

22 ish years later , my younger sister says that my adult nephew is very unhapy. My sister says “He want’s a cheesesteak! But I told him that I am forbidden from buying over price steakums ever again!!”

So… [me feels kind of silly] I went to a butcher shop here in lovely philadlehpia. And I bought some better quality meats.

ANYWAY, BACK TO THE TOPIC….

I love cheesesteakes. And I love my people. I think that that’s fair to say.

But there’s been tax evasion. And a philadelphia icon had been convicted of tax evasion. [Tony Jr’s dad gave money to people off the books.]

I am enormously cool with a man fudging his books. To be honest.

But if you’re living on your father’s reputation and selling frozen cheesesteak shit and marketing that as true philadelphia!! Then we have a problem!!!!

I would like to take her out to treat her to a steak dinner.

What would you do?

I confess I love my french fries (preferably steak cut fries) dipped in mayo.

I don't think Paula Deen said anything wrong. My great great Grandfather owned a few slaves himself and I love her chicken fried steak recipe.

I confess that I have a serious question that I really need answered.

Why are people in Texas so fucking stupid? Seriously, every person in that ugly state is straight up retarded. They all drive stupid redneck trucks to compensate for their tiny dicks (scientific fact) and they all carry guns everywhere they go, even the shower. They hardly ever bathe, they only eat red meat like steak and pizza and hot dogs, and they all believe in that biggest retard of all, Jesus (supposedly conceived when god raped a little teenage virgin girl), and they all believe that some god in the sky clicked his fingers and made the earth 6000 years ago.

Seriously, Texans are the biggest bunch of wimpy, faggoty retards this side of that swampy little drainage ditch they call the Rio Grande. Fucking hillbillies!

Once upon a time, a Man asked a beautiful young woman,"Will you marry me?"

She said,"NO!"

And the Man lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and banged long-legged slender big tittied broads and hunted and fished and went to strip clubs and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer and wine and stayed out till sunrise and never heard bitching or complaining and never paid child support or alimony and banged cheerleaders and kept his house and guns and ate steak and potatoes and beans and blew enormous farts and never got cheated on while he was at work and all his friends and family thought he was cool as hell and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up.

The end

Now they let the gates up so I bail.
Six shitty months, pick me up from the county jail
Smart ass mouth even though I paid my dues
Foam toilet, worn blankets, and the rubber shoes
But I ain't naggin
Here comes my people in the hooptie muffler draggin
Ain't been in the hoo ride long
And the 2 liter of Moon Mist is almost gone
Nuts are kinda anxious to drop a load
Told my man hook me up with a chick that he know
The bitch said
Muthafucka pick me up at three
Can't bitch, Cepta don't ride your street
We can eat around the corner at KFC
You can take a cab and I'll pay the fee
When she showed up, damn
She was outta luck
I forgot my wallet in the glove box of my truck
With the tab from the cab, and the dinner too.
With a knot in my sock, bitch I thought you knew
Dressed to impress chewing dentine gum
And I was drunk as fuck and smelled like an alley bum
I'm chewing on my food like a carnivore
Dumb bitch staring at me like an eye sore
Then I plopped my face in the bowl of soup
And slurped up every last bit up through my missin tooth
The bitch jumped up faster than a race
And told me had to powder her face
Since she pickin up the tab
You know that I'ma go for mine
Garcon, Shabali '54 vintage wine
And a steak well done, and an order of shrimp
Jamie Madrox playin the pimp (UH!)
She's back now and her hair ain't fixed
Probably in the bathroom kickin back takin a shit
But I ain't saying nothing though
I ain't saying nothing bout the muthafucking hoe
What's up bitch?
You ready to break ?
Besides, how long can one fat bitch take?
Quit snacking and pay the shit
So we can go to your crib and watch a horror flick
With your daddy
You're employed?
Awww shit...nawww
Your daddy's pretty fresh sweetie pie
I mean him letting me grip his ride
Besides he slipped me a fifty
But then again I'm kinda shifty
Now I wanna fuck so we headed to my house
Fuck sitting with your parents on the couch
Dad I got a bitch in my room and I smile
Take your ass to the bar and don't come back for awhile
A juggalo's known for smackin hoes
But I need to bust nuts so I switch to the mack mode
Now woman, you know I love you
So why don't you just let me fuck you
Look bitch, I know you's a freak
So let me get a little kiss on my cheek
And a fuck to go with that
Come on nympho, and let me hit that
Tell ya what you let me stick it
And I gotta left over piece of chicken for ya (Ah)
You little sewer skank
You nasty little pipe-smoking money hungry bitch!
That's the shit J (What?)
$85 bucks an hour and you wanna play
And that was that
A little smooth talking and she was on her back
You'll never guess what
My first day out and I caught my nut
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
Well, shit bitch it's my first day out
And I caught my nut
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
First day out and I caught my nut (What?)
Well, shit bitch it's my first day out
And I caught my nut
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
Well, shit bitch it's my first day out
And I caught my nut
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
First day out and I caught my nut(What?)
Well, shit bitch it's my first day out
And I caught my nuuuuuut!!