I confess my name is Joe Christfag. I'm a member of an 85% majority group who acts like a persecuted minority. I expect to be unconditionally respected, and never criticized, for believing in the literal truth of some mythological fables written by unknown authors thousands of years ago.
I act like my entire way of life is under assault whenever an irreligious person tells me I believe silly things for silly reasons. I claim to be convinced I'm going to live forever in a perfect wonderland of eternal awesomeness, but my doubt shows through when I get hysterically defensive over any perceived slight of my belief system.
In the end, I know deep down my religion is a huge load of bullshit, but I could never muster the strength of character to actually admit it. I'll just go through the motions and pretend to believe, for not better reason than because it's the same load of shit my parents, grandparents, and ancestors all believed. I pretend my religion is an affirming and uplifting thing, when in fact it instills me with nothing but guilt and fear.
I can never properly appreciate the beauty and wonder of this world and the universe it inhabits, because I'm supposed to act like this existence is some minor, insignificant preamble to another, better, more important existence.
I go to a special building once a week where I metaphorically cannibalize a dead carpenter so as to win the favor of his father the magical sky-god, but I accuse other faiths of having strange, creepy rituals.
I'm Joe Christfag, and I approve this message.
