My wife is an idiot. She was over an hour late when I called her Tuesday. she answers after 4 rings and starts yapping answers before I even finish asking questions...strange. Was mixing answering questions with things she has to do tonight, like as if she was high or something and having multiple thoughts at the same time. Then she says she's in the parking lot of JC Penny and needs to return an item to another store and that she's sorry she didn't call. Very odd. So I know something is up but I play it cool. She comes home about an hour later and is trying to keep a straight face, but keeps TOO straight a face. Goes right on into the bathroom to take a shower. I go about my business helping the kids with their homework and then start watching television on the couch. She comes and lays her head on my chest quietly avoiding eye-contact and rubbing my stomach and legs for a few minutes before getting up and making dinner. She seems off, but towards bedtime seemed to become normal. Kids go to bed, and we get into bed and without a word she tries to pull off my boxers like she's gonna blow me. I'm like, "WHOA, hold on...I didn't shower tonight" and resist, but at that second she just pulled down the front part only and started goin at it. This was very odd for two reasons. One, neither of us go down on each other unless we're freshly showered, and two, I don't like blowjobs with boxers on. I like being naked and loose in bed. Call me kind, I also wouldn't want her to suck on a dick that I've been pissing out of all day and in smelly underwear. Anyway, it goes on for a bit and I start feeling her ass and ask if she wants it in her now. She says she's not in the mood really and just wants me to lay back and enjoy tonight and whatever. She's usually, not always though, facing me when she blows, but tonight her head is facing away with her back towards me and not bobbing up and down but just keeps my dick deep in her mouth and just playing with her tongue. I don't cum with just a blowjob, I need to fuck or be jerked off every time until the last second, then I spray wherever... but tonight her tongue was way awesome like a different mouth alltogether and soon I bust all in her mouth. She swallows, which she hasn't done in months. She told me months ago my cum has started to taste different and that she's kinda grossed out about it. Anyway, that night she swallowed it all and just lays there, with my dick still in her mouth as it slowly goes limp. I tell her not to move for a minute (because of the sensitivity). After a minute, she sucks all the residual cum, wringing up from the base to get everything out, and rests her head on my stomach. Now I know something's up, but I keep cool. Swallowing cum from a non-washed dick is not like her at all. Looks like an I'm-sorry-I-cheated-on-you blowjob that you'd see in a movie. She never cheated on me that I knew of and certainly never acted like that night in 8 years of marriage. I pretend to start deep breathing like I'm about to snore and she rolls off of me and keeps her back to me. I start thinking about what she's been up to. After like 15 minutes I fake a gasp (like I just woke up) and slowly get up to go piss for real. The laundry basket in the bathroom has some clothes in it, and the towel she used earlier is on top, neatly pressing and tucked into the edges containing all the clothes underneath, it looked like there was a big bubble in the basket contained by the towel. So I pull up the towel and see her clothes there and way deep inside is her underwear. I'm real suspicious now so I pull them out and look inside. Sniffing never tells you anything I think, but there was definitely a shit odor and a minor wet skid mark, ok she sharted maybe, but the pussy part was very moist in the middle and almost crusty hard at the edges. I know dried cum when I see it. When we have sex, I always clean up my cum with my underwear and it looked just like that. I'm not sure if women's cum is the same though. So I put everything back and quietly go back to dwell on it overnight. She looks like she's awake, but pretending to sleep. I don't say a word and lay there thinking. The next morning I take the minivan, the vehicle she had the day before. In the garage I noticed both front windows open all the way and the back windows opened on their hinges (they don't go down). It also has a funky odor to it. A light vaseline smell to be more precise. I get to work at 6:30 and I get a phone call at 8am from her asking why I took her van instead of my car. I told her I wanted to pick up new mouldings from the Home Depot for the hallway. She started acting weird again, saying how she just vacuumed the van yesterday at the car wash (among her other bullshit "trips" yesterday) and now I was going to get it dirty and how she hates driving my car to work (since when? I thought) and how I should've told her I was going to take the van. I told her I didn't think it mattered much and reassured her that I was just going to get new clean moulding after work. Lunchtime, I go out to the van and start scouring around for evidence. Yes, the van does look cleaned, freshly vacuumed carpet, but what the fuck is that vaseline smell? It was more pronounced with the windows closed all morning. And what the fuck is that smearing on the side rear window? I get in the back seat and the smell when I got there was overwhelming. and that smear on the back window was slightly greasy and a thin film, like something was wiped away. with the right light, it was definitely something that was attempted to be cleaned...and there's the cloth she used packed in the cupholder. I open it up and I smell a mix of windex and vaseline. It is a neon-yellow rag we use for windows and WOW, I see at least 6 short curly hairs stuck in the cloth. These are definitely black men's hairs, afro or whatever. We are white, we have no such hairs. I look on the seat and sure enough I find a few more on the fabric of the seat, at that same corner. I know what happened now. I move a bit to examine the rest of the seat and right where my knee was was a wet spot. This was cleaned at the same time it seems as the window. Must've been the cum drip spot she must've attempted to clean but it didn't dry all the way after less than a day. Then I found the smoking gun, a nice black metal comb, with the name "Jamal" etched in silver. It was wedged between the seat part and back part where the seatbelts come out. This was why she was upset about me taking the van. She/they couldn't find this guy's comb when they were done, so she was forced to do a thorough cleaning of the van before she came home the day before. What to do? I put the comb back, and left about a quarter inch sticking out from that fold where I found it and went back to work. I go to home depot and get the moulding after work and head home. Aha, she came home early today and was all too eager to help me pull the 5 pound moulding out from under the seats. I go inside and put the moulding down and look out the window of the house and see her in the backseat of the van and catch her at the exact moment when she found the comb. she shook the van with excitement getting out, putting the comb in her pocket on her way back to the house. She thinks I don't know anything. Do I return the favor and fuck someone else? Do I confront her? Or do I start cracking jokes over the next few days about black people to see her reaction? I don't know.