One of my oldest friends is the girl who lives next door to me. Well, woman. Let’s call her crystal. She just turned thirty along with myself and the rest of our circle.

For the entire time I’ve known her she’s been a total square, just like the other girls in our group. I’m the only guy. One of very few black guys in this town on top of that. I’m kind of like their mascot. It’s been that way forever.

They’re a bunch of half assed Japanese speaking white anime fan girls who think they have a mean streak and aren’t growing out of anything. I get a pass on being edgy and shit just because this town has only ever seen like three of us since prohibition ended. So as far as they see it I'm thug as fuck.

They tease the ever loving shit out of me and I get to play the fool ass mother fucker who loves blue balls. Yeah I Cop a feel here and there, and the resident attention whore is always down to get “wasted” and show off (I love you Lizzy).

I get mine, just not from these girls.

I do my thing, lift weights,take care to stay lined up, keep it looking good so I just Show up to the party sacked or strapped and it’s like I’m their delinquent hood fantasy or something. It’s always been that way. I love this small town white trash sex haven.

So crystal is the hardcore Virgin, straight edge, no swearing, probably wears granny panties and she dresses like she’s afraid someone will notice she has a body. Oh shit does she have a body.

She’s thick I guess with Curly blonde hair, green eyes, librarian glasses, and no makeup ever. She’s baby fat soft, but plump and obsessed with aerobics. She hates her body and being “fat”. She thinks of fat people as being weak in general. No self control. Her sister is a cute plush cupcake with nothing to be ashamed of, but crystal will scold her to tears over her eating habits.

Anyway.

So we’ve known each other forever. We Grew up living next door to each other in a tiny town so we were best friends. Her mom’s been getting on her about meeting a guy and doing the good mom thing so she can have grand kids. This freaks her the fuck out, because well, that’s how she is.

So that brings us to about a month ago. I own the house I grew up in now. I bought it off my folks a few years ago. (Go Legal weed and housing crash) She still lives with her mom next door. It’s raining cats and dogs, (Finally, the drought is over) I’m doing dabs in my living room watching Hentai when the doorbell rings. I shut off the Tv and go answer.

It’s crystal. Soaking wet and looking more pissed than upset; dressed in her usual baggy hood and cargo pants. (Dumpy as fuck I’ve never even seen this girl in a t-shirt at this point)

She just blurts at me like I’m wasting her time. “I need to get high!”
That caught me way off guard, because that’s not something this girl does. I thought maybe she snapped and was having some kind of quiet one style psychotic episode.

“Well?” she follows up with. That snaps me back and I invite her in like a good stoner.

I ask her if she’s for real and what’s happening.

She tells me her mom started an online dating profile for her and was posing as her to set up a date.

“She said I needed a little push!” She was like cry yelling it.
She’s gone from furious to that creepy desperation hysterical crying where they’re like bawling, but laughing and talking shit to themselves about it.
Yeah, this girl needs to get high. I’m not trying to do her wrong, she’s my friend after all, so I pack her up a bowl of some monster cookies with some space queen cold water sprinkles on the roor and I start playing the flight attendant. You know, buddy system.

“Check it out this mix is super mellow, super euphoric, super creamy warm root beer.” I’m trying to make her laugh so she can relax a bit before her first session.

“It’s super strong so go easy and just do you.” Again trying to do her right.

“I just inhale?” She doesn’t look nervous, but she clearly has never been around the block.

“Yeah”

“OK, light me”

So I spark it and she starts the draw. It takes what feels like forever but she cashes the bowl in one big ass hit. Biggest I’ve ever seen in my life. I pull the carb and then we just wait…and wait…and wait…

“Breathe girl!” I kinda yell at her. Then she just sighs a cloud that fills my living room and says pack another.

I thought to myself no way you’ll want another in a minute so I’m packing it for me, but then I’m loaded up and she grabs the bong from me. I’d be mad, but it’s her so I’m just curious as fuck.
She burns that one down too. Same shit. Then she just kinda leans back and blows it all in my face.
I take the bong, reload, and do me. She’s couch locked hard while I smoke up with some oil in the salad.

Then I ask if she wants to watch something .

She nods hella faded and I ask her what.

“Porn!” she yells. Fuck it. The Girl’s having a midlife crisis. I stop acting shocked, this is how I live so whatever.

I pop the TV back on and my Hentai flick is still going.

We stayed like that for a minute. She was just leaned back on my couch guppy mouthed and Chinese eyed, I was just watching the porn wishing I could jerk off or hit that.
The she sits bold upright like she just remembered some shit. I pause the movie to see what she does next and she asks me “You know what sounds awesome right now?”
I’m expecting her to say something like deep fried ice creams sandwiches or something.

Nope. I ask her “What you fiending for?”

“I need to suck your dick.”

Holy fucking shit. I ask her. “Are you serious? You’re high as fuck right now.”
She just yells “DICK!” It startled the shit outta me I whipped it out.

Time and money are something I'm lucky enough to a lot of. I've got over ten racks in gold and diamonds in my dick. Six bars for a ladder, and two bars crossing the head. I don't fuck with squeamish fake teaser bitches.

She says out loud “Fuck yes!” then just drops her face down in my lap while she lays on the couch and starts fucking snacking on my dick. It was honestly kinda humbling.

She has no clue what she’s doing, She has clearly never done this before. Honestly though this shit wasn’t even about me, she was just working out a craving and I was the lucky fucker kicking back while she…buffet styled my dick. Like, she wasn’t sucking me off, she was licking all over it and trying to stuff it all down her throat. She kept gagging and coughing and snot was bubbling out of her nose. Nasty as fuck, but I’m in it for the long one now.

After a bit of her licking all over and testing the fit she just fucking throats me down. Oh my fucking god. She starts lurching and wretching I was positive she was about to fucking puke all over my lap then one fucking dry heave and she blows a huge wad of slime out her nose and she pulls off to get a heaving breath like she’s been drowning and like a whole other pint of goop just pours out her mouth and all over the front of her shirt. Now she looks like she’s gonna cry. My Dick is just standing there messy as fuck and in need of handling. She looks like she’s trying to process the mess she is and then blurts out “High is Awesome! Being high!” and has a laughing fit that goes on for way too long while I try to figure out if she’s done or not.

I bust out the rig for a dab while she makes up her mind and that snaps her out of her fit. I do mine still with my dick out, hard and nasty. She asks for one.

I tell her this shit is space case pro grade.

She says “Get me higher.”

Fuck it. She takes the dab just as easy as the bong load, lets it off. Then she says. “Lean back, more dick.”
With that she busts off the soaked fucking hoodie she was wearing and she didn’t have anything on underneath.
Then I seem them. They’re just there.
I wasn’t ready. She went from total unknown girl next door bate crush to one of a kind world record porn star tits staring me in the face, right there in front of me. The biggest tits I have ever seen on any women in my life. I thought she was just a plumper like her sister. But it was all tits. She was fit under all that.

It clicks for her what just happened too and she says. “H cup. I buy bras through the mail.”
Then down she goes. She works out her issues on my dick for like a half hour before she pops off my cock all a sudden then says ”Pussy Now.”
I’m like fuck, I guess I’m done. But then she takes off her pants and panties then crawls back up on the couch and leans over the arm rest with her ass pointing at me.
“Pussy now!” She barks it out like it’s all she’s ever said to me and I figure she wants it all now.

I’m not worried, I cut my shit years ago. Guess it’s time for pussy now.

I’m all throat slimed up so I know I’m good. But I don’t want to wreck this vibe so I get in to eat that pussy from the back and she freaks the fuck out when I get my tongue in there. (Power muff FYI)

“What is that doing?” “No Gross! No don’t! “ she fights it for maybe five seconds.
Then all she can say after that is “I love my pussy.”

It was a little weird, but I got used to it.

She was just chanting it the whole time.

“I love my pussy.”

Once she’s all sauced up and sloppy She just says, “Break it in”

Fuck yes. I lay it in her and I’m not gentle about it.

She’s still chanting, but now it’s all “Pussy! Oh Pussy! My Pussy!”

It’s hot, but also, I don’t know If I’m good with pussy for a bedroom pet name, you know?

She’s calling for her lost pussy to come home while I’m rock hard stone bonin’ her from the back.

I know I’ve hit something special because she starts throwing it back at me and her pussy chant is now “Big dick” She barks it every time she bottoms out and I can feel her cervix knocking my cock.

Not long now. She Keeps slamming back into me harder and harder then it happens.
She starts yelling pussy again, she stops throwing it and just rests with me balls deep in her and I can feel her pussy having a fucking seizure on my dick. She erupts all over the fucking couch. Just fucking gushes buckets.

She starts rambling, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry ,I’ll clean it up!”

I tell her not to trip and I need to get mine.

She says ok.

I waste no time and I give it to her like she owes me on a pound.
She’s not asleep, but she’s clearly out of whatever energy was pushing that episode. i get to drunk fuck her for a few minutes then I blow my load in her pussy just for the cheap thrill of being first.

I passed out on the couch with her and when I woke up later that evening she was in my shower.
She came out naked, “My clothes have, stuff on them. Can I wash them?”

I tell her yeah, then I ask “So what was that and what’s up now?”

She kisses me on the nose and says, “You’re mine now.”

My first instinct was "Say what now bitch?"

But, I have no desire to resist this woman.

It’s been about a month now and we’re still dating.

She’s changed though. Still dresses dumpy as fuck, but she is a stone cold party girl. Loves to get fucked up and dicked down.

She says I'm the only one that can get it.

Turns out her mom isn't happy i'm the one getting it though. She says she's voting trump or some shit.
Bitch.

Crystal says not to trip on it though. She says I don't belong to her.

I think I'm in love. I hope it lasts.