why dont all africaners just hop a boat and sail thier nigger asses back to africa?? we'd ALL be happier that way!!

I recently bought a replica of Aragon's sword off amazon. and i've started to take it with me everywhere. it gives me a sense of security to know that the might of anduril, the flame of the west, is with me when i'm facing the orcs and goblins of present day middle-earth. sometimes i look at the southron hordes and the easterlings and i wonder what was the point of th elfish sacrifices to save middle-earth, since the light of the west and the glory of the Kings of Men has set all too conclusively.

I consider myself the last of the blood of numenor because i have grey, far-seeing eyes and i read and speak in elvish and have lng-lived ancestors. sometimes I wish i could meet a numenorean lady to band and fuck and repopulate the world with the ancient lineage. or if not, at least a tall blonde chick, and not one of these descendents of those who bowed to the might of sauron. but it turns out that the race of men is spent, and even if i am the last of isildur's heirs, I am destined to end the line with me.

i took up sailing a few years back in the hopes of finding the way back to Valinor, and trying to find the silmaril that was tossed into the sea and never recovered. it's said that the light of the silmaril can lead one to back to Valinor. But i've been unable to find it, even though I can hold my breath long enough to read 10 pages of LOTR. It is a cursed life to be the last of the numereans.

Well I fucked up and it looks like that's the end of the road for this effort. I've posted a lot on here about my escapades with my mother in law. Years ago I started wanking to her pictures and when she got kicked out of her apartment and moved in with us it was like winning the lottery. I was constantly jerking off with her at the house, standing outside her bedroom door fully naked and cumming on the floor, or across the room when she wasn't paying attention. A few times I got the nerve to expose myself to her but always made it seem like an accident. I walked out of the bedroom naked after a shower acting like I didn't know she was there. I let my dick hang out of my shorts a few times. SHe never reacted a ton but really made me wonder if she knew anything at all. I eventually drilled spy holes in her bathroom and watched her shower and took pics and vids (don't ask for them but they are on here). Was amazing to be able to see her naked and masturbate to it. Eventually she moved out and the fun was mostly over but I could never get it out of my head. One night I sent her a pic of my raging hard cock with the text "I miss you". I know she saw it right away and I waited for a response but got nothing. THe next day I decided I needed to follow up so I texted her again and said it was an accident. She said she thought that was the case and wasn't going to say anything. I should have left it there but I felt like this was my only change, then or never. SO I told her I jerked off to her all the time and checked her out when she was over, looked down her shirt and would go in the back room and cum for her. Well, it didn't go over too well and she told me I needed help and then she told my wife about it. I never told my mil about the spying camera but I did tell my wife. It's sort of settling now and rarely comes up. SHe still comes over and I still jerk off to her all the time. Not sure if she realizes I still do or not. It gets me horny thinking about sending her that pic especially since I talked to her about it and asked her if she thought my dick was big. SHe admitted seeing it and not deleting it, she said it was incase she needed to prove I sent it. I honestly wonder if she still has it and looks at it or masturbates to it. It also gets me pretty hard thinking about telling my wife I've seen her mom naked and spied on her and she knows I've cummed to her so many times. So overall I don't regret it but I do regret how it ended. I was never trying to fuck her, just wanted to be able to be open about what I was doing and have her okay with me jerking infront of her. In hind sight I wish I would have just started doing that instead of sending the pic I think. I really wanted her to catch me jerking off to her pic and try to time it so I connected eyes with her and just kept going and cummed when she saw it. Oh well. I guess that ship has sailed now. I said I was sorry and would never do it again and I think that was my one chance so I really don't think I can go any further than just my private jack off sessions to her naked pics.

i love sailing

My Chinese experience.

I moved to China from the USA 7 months ago for a job. This place is great if you are a want to get laid. I was never really into asian chicks until I moved here. Sure I whacked it to a few asian prons in my lifetime but it was never my thing.

It is so fucking easy to get laid in China. If you cannot get laid in the USA but have the money to take a trip I recommend coming to China. These Chinese girls are so down to fuck Americans its crazy.

First of all they are all relatively hot. The majority of chicks that are here are skinny. Very rarely do you see overweight women. I'm sure these numbers are growing because you do see McDonalds, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Etc. but at the moment most chicks are reasonably skinny. Even the fat chicks are pretty skinny compared to US chicks.

They all dress slutty. I live in southern China but have traveled around a bit since moving here. All the girls wear tiny ass shorts or skirts, high heels, and possibly tights or stockings. Pretty fucking hot. If you are a leg man then China is heaven for you. Even the older women here look damn hot.

These chicks have no hair on their bodies. Legs and arms are fucking smoooooth. You may find a little bit of hair under their arms and their snatches can be a bit of a jungle but the rest of their bodies are smooth sailing. No stubble, they just do not grow hair on most of their body. The hair on their head is pretty sexy though. They normally have long flowing black hair. A lot of them dye their hair red or blonde so these chicks stand out a bit but their hair is pretty damn hot.

You have a slight western influence on their fashion. I have not seen so much spandex or hipster glasses in my life. These chicks make it look hot though. If you are into gaps then China is the place to go. Gaps occur on skinny chicks where there is space between their thighs. Never really noticed this before but here in China there are so many chicks with gaps that you have to notice. Pretty hot. All you can think about is the easy access you have to their snizatch.

These chicks like western dudes. I've seen some ugly expats here with pretty hot chicks. It helps, of course, if you have a bit of money.

prostitution is pretty much legal

here is how it works

its illegal but nobody gives a shit

there are a few levels of prostitution here

there are the street girls

cost about 150rmb which is about 20 bucks are so. you just pull up to a whore store and the mommy (female pimp) brings out a line up of girls. you pick your girl and take her back to your place or you can rent a decent hotel room for around 8 bucks for a few hours. chicks are pretty hot. they will go with you and shower with you. then either fuck or suck until you are done. then take their payment and then leave. sometimes if you give them 150 rmb the girl will give you a few dollars change. The great thing about these street girls is that they will normally give you their phone number so you can call them directly without having to go through the mommy. you wont pay any less but they will show up to your door and you don't have to go through the hassle of going the the whore store (sometimes its closed)

you can also go to KTV. KTV is a karaoke spot. some of them are bit different but a lot of them are the same. You pay for the private room and some booze. pay for the Dj and then they bring in a line up of 10-20 or more chicks depending on where you go. these chicks are pretty damn hot. you give them maybe 200-300 RMB for them to be your companion during the evening. once you pick a chick they will either keep their formal clothes on or change into street clothes. they will sit with you all night, talk to you, pour your drinks, sing with you, light your smokes, and let you semi grope them. if they are into you you can get a bit more action for free. Ive seed guys get blowjobs or handjobs or kisses from KTV chicks that are attacted to them. Ive also seen chicks that are just jobbers that do not do anything to exciting most of the night. You can take some of these broads home. Normally will cost you a few hundred more RMB. Not all of them are whores so you may be SOL if you pick the wrong one. The ones that do go home are pretty fun.

You can also go to the chinese massage. you can get a foot massage here for 50rmb or less than 10 bucks. chicks massage your whole body then spend a long time on your feet. Nothing crazy sexual but they normally wear pretty short skirts and flirt with you a bit.

These same massage parlors offer full body massages. costs about 100rmb or around 16 bucks. they will take your shirt off and make you lay down. massage your whole body including your ass and legs. then when they are done they will flip you over and jerk you off. chicks are hot. wear short skirts and sort of hump you all night while they massage you. hand jobs are pretty good. they will slip a finger in your ass if you are into that and sometimes you can get a couple chicks if you want to pay. the massage includes a hot shower so it is a pretty good way to relax.

you have saunas that you can go to. pretty much the best shit ive had since ive been here. combines all the previous shit into one slam bamma. you walk into a lobby and they bring in a line up of chicks. you pick the one you want. they are all dressed hot. and she takes you to a private room. then she changes in front of you to something sexy and she has you take a shower. she will shower with you if you want and she will scrub you down. she is normally naked and she will play with your dick a little bit. then she puts you on a massage table and gives you a naked massage. she will mount you and give you a shitty massage. bitch is a whore not a fucking licensed masseuse but it feels good enough. when you are done with the massage she will take you into the bedroom and then the fun starts. they normally put on some japanese porn on the tv that is pretty hot and then you get down to business. pretty much anything goes. most chicks wont let you fuck them in the ass but they will blow you from any position and let you fuck them for as long as it takes.sometimes they have toys. pretty much always you have to wear a condom. they will play with you until you are done then you can take another shower or bath. whole thing is like 600rmb which is around 100 bucks. pretty dope time.

girls are hot. all look pretty young. i have had a few older women which was kinda weird getting a hj from a chick that could be my aunt but w/e

there are higher level hos that are available as well, just havent experienced them for myself. there are also places that deliver chicks to your hotel room. they send a line up and you pick the one you want. sometimes 1000-1500 rmb.

my favorite is the sauna. pretty reasonable for the time you get. the street hos are pretty fun but it is hit or miss. sometimes you get girl that blows but does not fuck and then sometimes vice versa. you do luck out sometimes and get a hottie that blows and fucks but you gotta grab these bitches numbers because they normally get scooped up pretty quick.

sometimes after chinese new year your favorite girl will go back to their hometown and never come back. i dont think that whoreing is looked down on as much in China. it seems as if a lot of regular girls may try it out to make a bit of money for a little while. a lot of them get burned out and then go get regular jobs or regular girlfriends but they can give you a pretty damn good ride while they are testing the waters.

TL/DR come to china if you want to empty your balls

okay i got a serious question for all you gay guys and girls who like anal... how the fuck do you know when its cool to stick a dick up there and things arent gonna get "messy"?
i mean, every now and then i get the urge for some anal stimulation, so in the shower i'll stick a finger up there, but so many times its met with a nice fat poo... which promptly ruins the moment. and thats just my finger, which is like half the length of most dicks. now ive had anal sex a few times with an ex, and whenever i wanted to stick it in her arse it was all sweet... no problems at all, which was awesome, but i always wondered about this, and i never asked her, so now im asking you... how do you know?? i would IMAGINE that you girls (and guys) would not want to let you partner or whoever stick their dick up your arse if you had any doubt that it was going to be anything but smooth sailing, right? i would imagine it would be pretty embarrassing for you if things got messy, right? or not? do you have to plan it in advance every time? i would imagine that would kinda ruin the fun. and its pretty impractical to perform and enema every time you think your man might want to fuck your arse. im genuinely perplexed, and i look forward to reading your replies,
sincerely,
a relatively straight man

the story of my life and my sister (incest i guess..)

Wow... okay, I wasn't sure if I was ever going to tell anyone about this, but it's late and I'm sleep deprived so i guess I'll just write it now and regret it in the morning

First of all, - just for some background: My mom died right when I was born, (she was actually really, really hot- but this isn't about her. I guess that's fucked up to say, but whatever.) I actually grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born. So you can see, my childhood was really kind of messed up.

Anyways, growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister. When I was about 17 or 18 I first noticed that my sister was a hottie.

I don't want to go into to many details about it, but basically what happened is that I accidentally found a video that she made of herself. I knew she didn't make it for me- but I thought she was so fucking beautiful that I watched it twice. (probably would have watched it a hell of a lot more, except that like right around the time I found the video, all this crazy shit went down and I had to leave home. (My dad's family who I was staying with got in bad trouble with the law. I never talk about it).

Sooo... I was totally lusting after my sister at that point. She was also having bad trouble with the law. She was actually in custody when I left home.

My friend and I went to go pick her up. When I saw her that day, after seeing the video, I have to be honest, I just wanted to fuck her brains out. Looking back on it now, it's pretty messed up- but I think she had feelings for me too. She actually kissed me right after we came to get her... and it wasn't a sisterly kiss, you know? I mean, it wasn't like ridiculously sexual or anything, but it definitely wasn't sisterly.

After we left, we all went to crash with my Sister's friends. On the trip there, my friend sort of implied that he wanted to get with my Sister, and I got a little jealous. He's a good looking guy- and even though she was my sister- I just felt like he was competition. Not much else happened between us for a while except some maybe-sexy hugging.

Pretty much everyone in my life at that point was wanted by the government, so we all moved around a lot. I'm not saying that I'm proud of it or anything, but it was kind of a hectic time.

My friend and my sister never hooked up I don't think- but I thought there was some serious sexual tension going on between them. It was around that time that I got really badly hurt in an accident. It was fucked up. I almost died. But when I was in recovery my sister came to see me, and out of the clear blue sky she started gives me this awesome, slow, passionate kiss on the lips.

Sadly (although, I guess for the best) nothing ever came of it. We spent some time apart... and I started to get really religious, so I tried not to think of her that way. It was actually going well for a long time- like I was totally over her. But I have to say, like a year or so after all that stuff went down, we were out sailing (not like a date or anything romantic like that), and she was wearing like the hottest bikini I've ever fucking seen and it brought back all the old feelings. Sigh.

A little while later she actually wound up with my friend from before (the sexual tension guy). I can't say I was surprised.

But even after she was shacking up with my friend, there was one time we were at a party... my friend was inside, and my sister and I were outside alone. It was a really intimate moment. I think something might have happened, except that I killed the mood when I told her that Darth Vader was our father and that I had to go face him.

Cruising for fun.

This last spring I went on a cruise through the eastern Caribbean. It was nice to get away for a while and forget about working.
Boarding the ship was rather uneventful, and I spent the first day learning my way around the ship, and finding the best places to relax.
We spent the first two days at sea, sailing from FT Lauderdale to St Kitts. Naturally, having two whole days at sea meant there was plenty of eye candy
playing about on the pool decks.

I loved watching all those young looking teen girls frolicking about in spam two piece bikinis. eventually I had to retire to my cabin and relieve myself.
that night I got drunk, wandered around, and discovered that the top deck's spa did not close until midnight. As it was already 1 am, I had no chance tonight.
But I figured tomorrow I could enjoy a little privacy in the spa without a dozen other people crowding their way into the somewhat tiny pool. The spa was built to hang over the side of the ship,
as if it were floating in mid air, but also offering a lot of concealment from the otherwise open deck space.

Fast forward to the second night at sea. It was about 8 o'clock. I ate my dinner, went to the sauna, had a couple drinks at the bar, then made for the top deck.
It was wonderful. not a living soul in sight. I took off my shirt and flip flops, set the jets on high, then set down into the empty spa.
Another thing I liked about the top deck was the lack of cameras. My military service, mixed with a general paranoia and desire for privacy, causes my to dislike being watched all the time.

For about 20 minutes I stayed there, enjoying the soft hum of the ship, the sound of waves below me, and the warm night breezes of the Caribbean.
Suddenly, my spider senses pinged a contact, with my military trained ears noticing the slightest change in ambient noise. It was footsteps.
I watched and waited, and saw this sexy young girl come around the corner from the stairs. she saw me as she walked up,
and we exchanged polite glances before she set down her towel and began to undress.
I glanced at my watch. 10:52. I looked back to see that she had taken off her shirt and shorts, leaving very little to the imagination.

She had deep blue eyes, soft pink lips, cream colored skin with almost no freckles or dimples at all,
a cute little belly button on her flat tummy, almost no body hair and a cute little up turned nose.
She was wearing a tight pink bikini bottom with a light blue and white top, and her golden blonde hair curled and feathered its way down to just above the center of her back.
She stood about 5 foot 2 inches, with nice, B cup breasts and a figure that suggested she was involved in some kid of sport, maybe swimming.
As I eyed her up and down she broke the silence and rumble of the spa jets. "Hi." she said, she saw me looking, I could tell by her smirk. lots of guys must gawk at her in a bikini.
"Uh, hello" I replied. "Nice night." Fuck, that was stupid.

"Yeah," she giggled. "It's nice to not have to do anything."
"I agree." I confidently responded.
"It's so empty up here," she said. "Why are you all alone?"
"I like the peace and quiet" I told her.
"Me too," she spat out. "I like to get away from my parents, sometimes."
"Parents?" my confusion must've seemed obvious.
"Yeah." she explained. "My mom and dad don't want me wandering around alone."
"I see" I replied to her.

"But they're asleep, so I snuck out!" she giggled excitedly.
"Snuck out?" now I was really confused.
"Yeah, but I'm already 15 1/2. I can take care of myself." she said, sternly.
"Oh!" I understood, now. "You looked older."
"I get that a lot" She said.

"It's good, though." I was back pedaling. "you seem very mature for 15"
"Thanks!" she said, with renewed confidence. "I'm Abby."
"I'm Steve" I announced as she scooted closer to shake my hand.
I could see her blushing as my foot brushed against her leg under the bubbles.
"Sorry," I laughed.
"It's ok, not like anyone's looking." she said, cutely.

We locked eyes for a moment, I was trying to figure out her expression.
"So are you having fun on your trip, Abby?" I spoke as calmly as my shaking nerves would allow.
She was still close to me, my foot still grazing her leg.
"Yeah," she said. "But I was really hoping to find a hot guy, here..."
She trailed off, looking me up and down. At least, what she could see above the water.
"Were you hoping to have a little vacation romance?" I ventured, pressing my foot slightly into her leg.
She smiled, biting her lip. "I wanted to have some fun, at least."

"Who says you can't have fun, Abby?" I said. I was feeling bolder, I started moving my foot up and down her shin, until I reached her knee.
"My Dad caught me with a boy from school, a few weeks ago." she confessed, as if she were betraying her closest friend.
"What were you two doing?" I asked, genuinely curious if teenagers now were really as wild as my friends with younger siblings tell me.
"We were having sex." she spoke softly. "My Dad saw us in his truck."
"OH." I replied, trying to hide my excitement from imagining this sexy young girl riding some lucky SOB's pole.
"Yeah..." I was grounded until we left." she told me. "So I didn't see him, again."
"Did you use protection?" I asked her.
"Yeah, but it felt weird." She explained. "The condom."

I was already in too deep, so I decided to keep digging.
"Have you ever had sex without a condom?"
"No." she said. "My friends are all on birth control. They say it's alot better."
"Are you on birth control?" I asked her.
"No, My mom & dad won't let me. They think I'll start sleeping around." She said, almost bitterly.
"I don't think you're the type." I said, reassuringly.
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" she exclaimed, jumping almost out of the water.

She came back down a little closer to me, and her knees hit my right knee, causing my foot to spring up.
She gasped as my toes bumped her bikini clad mound.
"Shit!" I said, under my breath.
"It- It's ok." she smiled. she was biting her lip, again.
"Are you ok?" I asked her.
"Yeah," she giggled. "That felt good."

"My foot?" I joked.
"Yeah, when it... touched me." she seemed shy about it.
"Do you like being touched there?" I asked her, feeling more confident.
She shook her head, obviously feeling turned on. I placed my hand on her thigh, above her left knee.
"How about here?" I looked into her eyes. she shook her head again. I moved my hand up and towards the inside of her left thigh.
"And like this?" I slid my hand up between her suddenly open thighs. Her breathing became shallow, almost bated.
"Yeah.." she said, biting her finger. She scooted closer to me, allowing me to reach further.
My hand slid up along her inner thigh, as if finding it's own way. Suddenly I felt cloth. I pressed a knuckle into her soft flesh, though the bikini.

She let out a moan, and rolled her eyes for a moment. "I like that." She scooted even closer. I glanced around, to make sure we were completely alone.
No one at the bar, sun chairs, or stairwell doors. Just me and this sexy young girl. And my hand on her crotch.
"Abby.." I started, before getting lost in her eyes. I moved my hand from her mound, and guided her sideways on to my lap.
My rock hard boner was struggling with the restraints of my shorts, but it still managed to poke her cute little ass when she sat down.
She looked at me as my hand once again slid and caressed its way up to her young, teenage mound. I could tell what she wanted, so I leaned in and started to kiss her.

Instantly, her arms were around my neck, grabbing and pulling as our tongues explored each other. I hooked a finger under the side of her bikini, and slowly, pulled it to one side.
My fingers found their way across smooth, hairless skin, until stopping at a warm, slippery slit. She kissed even harder as I ran my middle finger up and down her slit,
coming oh so close to her waiting hole. As my finger entered her, she let out a long moan. she pulled hard on my neck, as my finger buried itself up to the knuckle in her tight young pussy.
"Oh my god!" she mouthed as my finger began to move in and out of her. Her hips began rocking, and her nipples were visibly hard.
I used my other hand to massage and tweak her nipples through her bikini top, as I added a second finger to her young hole.

She slid her right hand down, across my chest and stomach, before stopping at the waistline of my shorts. After several failed attempts to get under the waistband,
her hand began to undo my front tie strings, and then unzip my plastic zipper. Her tiny hand found my erection and grasped as far around it as she could.
She began to pump my shaft in rhythym with the fingers that slid in and out of her young, hairless pussy.
We kissed again as our pace became faster, Finally she pulled back from me with a gasp.

"I want to do it." she whispered. "I want it inside me."
I didn't waste time asking if she was sure, her writhing body and fire-hot pussy told me all I needed to know. I sat her up and pulled my shorts down, freeing my eagerly waiting cock.
She hovered above me for a moment, as I helped her pull her bikini bottom as far to one side as it would go. I put my hand on her lower back, and guided her down,
while her hands found and rubbed on my dick. She lowered herself down, quickly, and my dick was jamming just an inch away from her waiting pussy.
I lifted her up and adjusted my dick, so that the head was barely pushing into her pussy. As soon as she felt it, she sat down, hard.

"UHHHHHNN!" she groaned into my neck as the unbelievably tight warmth enveloped my entire cock in a single thrust. I had to fight the urge to cum right then.
Her eyes were wide as she adjusted to the size of her new intruder.
"oh, oh, OHHH!!" she began to moan and gasp as we started up a rhythym. I worked my hands underneath her bra as she kissed me hard, between thrusts. I pulled her nipples as she rocked back and forth,
gasping my name. I pushed completely into her and lifted her off the seat, before walking to a section of the spa where I could stand and she could lay back on a drink table.
I began to thrust into her more rapidly. we only had a few more minutes before the spa would close, and the deck hands would show up to clean the top deck.

I could feel my orgasm building as Abby clawed and grabbed at any part of me she could reach. her legs wrapped around my back and she began to shake and thrash about, and her pussy clamped down on my dick.
I only lasted a few more seconds, with her hot pussy squeezing and milking my dick for every drop.
"Yes! Yes! YEEESSSSS!" she gasped and sighed as I gave in to my hormones and shot my entire load into her young, fertile womb.
We laid there for a few minutes, my cock still diamond hard, buried deep inside her.
I pulled out, and with a Passionate kiss, she stood up, pulling her bikini back into place.

"I gotta get back, Steve." she said, picking up her things. "Maybe we can chill again, tomorrow."
"Maybe, Abby." I winked at her. She smiled, flipped her hair and left.

THis must have been a fun day's sailing

Camille came to work with me one day, a few months after we’d met. It was ladder work, which is why she wanted to come. I work alone mostly. And she likes being up on the ladder. I built a business taking care of people’s homes. When people ask me what I do for work, that’s what I tell them, I take care of people’s homes, but the real answer is so much more. On this day with Cam we’d be scraping window trim. But the next day is car transportation to and from the airport. And the day after is finding and fixing a small leak, but most likely replacing the dishwasher, and then repairing the flooring from the damage. Oh, and then I have to pick up clothes from a customer and allocate them elsewhere, but not before rebuilding a screen door and making and installing shelves for a local coffee shop. But on this day we’ll be on ladders scraping window trim. Which is why Cam wanted to come.

Cam stepped out of the bedroom that morning into the hall as I was exiting the bathroom. “How does this look?” She asked me. Referring to the outfit she chose to wear to work that day, she showcased it with an impromptu hallway-width catwalk turn. Unbelievable, I told her. “It’s not too long?” She asked. Referring to her skirt. Seems just right to me. Oh, good! She replied excitedly with a short hop and tail wiggle as she proceeded back into the bedroom to finish ablutions.

Camille is a short girl at five foot even, and very petite. She’s young and pretty with striking blue eyes and shoulder length dirty-blonde hair. But what attracted me to her most was and still is her playfulness. Cam doesn’t tend to take things too seriously, which I’m working on myself. Where I would maybe think far too long about something that simply doesn’t matter, Cam just goes for it and calls me a silly goose. And she’s got this ability to surprise me every time. Less so now as we’ve been together for sometime. But still from time to time she gets me. Like every day really. And to my weaning dismay, tending toward total approval to the point of following suit, ninety percent of the time her playfulness is sexual in nature, or rooted in some sort of sexual connotation. Sexual, kinky, naughty, taboo, and sometimes just downright filthy, she’s one hundred percent comfortable with her body, expressing herself sexually, speaking her mind, and she doesn’t wince easily. She’s a free flowing form of one hundred percent woman. She’s nice, she’s thoughtful, caring, loving, and an overtly naughty sex crazed being. Who wouldn’t love that.

For example: Now this is an extreme case, but it gives insight into who she is. Now let it be known, neither of us have a desire to play in this way, but Cam always jokes around in an attempt to push the boundaries, my buttons, and get me to loosen up more and more. SO we’re walking down the road one day and (Oh, God, I can’t believe I’m telling you this. Okay here goes.) So we’re walking down the road and I noticed some dried dog poop. I grabbed her and said, “Look out for the poop. Don’t step in it.” So she says to me, and I quote, “Dare me to lick it?” I’m like, Good Lord girl, no! “What’s the big deal? It’s just poop.” She told me. Question asked, question answered. - Now I need to tell you before I lose you here, this story is not about poop. I promise you. This is just an indicator into who she is. So Cam proceeds to get on her hands and knees, on the side of a fairly well trafficked road, and egg me on. And to boot, and I guess this is pertinent information, Cam doesn’t exactly believe in wearing underwear. I mean, she will if no other clothing is covering it. At which point she calls it outerwear. But if she’s wearing even the shortest of dresses or skirts, any other accompanying garments are out of the question. So there she is, this young, pretty, sexy thing, bent over on the side of a public road, her ass clearly visible to anyone who happens to pass by, daring me to dare her to lick dog poop. And if I say something such as referring to the fact that someone might see her. Her only reply ever is always in the vein of, let them see, somebody's gotta make the world a better place. It’s not that she wants people to see, or even goes out of her way to ensure that they do. But Cam is just being Cam, and what happens, happens. I aspire to her nature of play and carefreeness, especially when it comes to sex, or simply expressing myself. I’m getting there, and I’m becoming less reserved about it. That’s why I’m writing this. I told her I would.

Oh, good lord, she just came through the room, or pranced through is more like it. Panties on her head, and a bra around her crotch area. “Is this how you wear them, David?” She asked me. Um, no, but getting closer!

So we’re off to work. Now this is a real job with real work that needs to get done. Cam is a hard fucking worker too. Bright, intelligent, intuitive when it comes to getting shit done. What needs doing, where, when, how; all the things. This isn’t just play time. Or I should say, this isn’t solely play time. But as Cam says, most time is an opportunity for play time.

So we get to this house and Cam and I begin setting up for our day. Occasionally people are shuffling by. It’s a friendly town. We wave, they wave, we say hi, and so on. We get the ladders set up, the music going, and all we need is a tarp and some scrapers and we’re off. This is a mountain ski resort town in Colorado, so It’s a beautiful day. And increasingly so, the people in these towns, whether they be tourists or locals, dress more like they are on a beach in Southern California rather than at nine thousand feet. But the weather is conducive, so the attire is, shall we say, nice to look at because there’s less and less of it. Or as Cam points out to me, “she’s hot.” So despite what Cam is wearing, it really draws little to no attention specifically to her. Despite the fact that, “she’s hot too.” If you take notice, you take notice, but a short skirt is par for the course here. So up the ladder she goes.

No panties on, the view from below was, how shall I say this, enjoyable to say the least. And improved my typical workday by severfold. I’m being modest. It was fucking incredible. I’m a grateful guy in general, but this was like, “okay, I’m not sure how I conjured this into my life, but I’ll take it all day long!” She liked it, she knew it, she wanted it, but most of all, she enjoyed that I liked it. And liked it, I did. So much so in fact that I could hardly keep my hand off myself. In fact, the only time I did remove my hand was to take pictures and videos that we looked at together later. I’ll share one with you here.

Now I haven’t told you a story so far, rather, just something that happened. Setting up the scene so to speak. But what would a scene be without a story? I’ve told you about me. I’ve told you about my kinky little girlfriend. But what I haven’t told you might make your head explode. In the best way, of course. At least it made mine. But I’m vanilla, or so I think. I don’t know. You be the judge. But hang tight, it’s about to get good.

So we’d brought two ladders and set both of them up, but Cam insisted I be the ground person. Or that one of us only be on one ladder at a time. Because what I haven’t told you yet is that now it was my turn, and Cam made me wear very revealing shorts to work too. One of the ways we connected when we’d first met was our mutual dislike for wearing underwear. For me, when I was a teenager I stopped wearing briefs because I was chubby, and they were just uncomfortable. I tried boxers but still to this day I don’t know how people wear those things. They’re just so uncomfortable. So since I was fifteen years old - I’m forty-six now - I haven’t worn a pair of underwear one day. And Cam loved that. Easy access to the flopping penis, she tells me, is a wonderful thing for a girl like me.

So although rather uneventful in my estimation, Cam insisted that up the ladder you go, sir. Yes ma’am. So there I was, a dangling participle revealed for her viewing. And viewed, she did, with camera and all. That iPhone has an amazing zoom, she told me. Talk about uncomfortable. Cam would yell things below as people would pass by. “Throw down the hammer, David?!” Oh good lord. “”Hey, yur lookin’ good up there!” And, “David, do you need me to hold anything for you?” And, “Hey David, I think your balls are hanging out!” Some of her comments weren’t designed for cleverness, rather to provoke the passersby and embarrass me. It’s astounding what people don’t notice. I’m on a ladder with my giant old balls hanging from my tiny red shorts one block off of Main St. and no one notices even when she points them out. The irony being you know that if I were doing that and Cam wasn’t there…

I would throw comments up to her too in an attempt to out embarrass her. As if that were possible. I wasn’t quite as good at it though, and all I’d accomplish was to make her laugh. Which was awesome, but not what I was going for. “Hey lady, the moon is out!” Or, “I see you missed a spot!” I don’t even know what that one means. All Cam had to do was reference caulk all day. For me it was a bit more challenging. I either went from not making any sense at all to just embarrassing myself with all I was yelling up to her. “I see your butt!” And queue the disgusted look from the speed walker passing by. “Cam, I’m really not good at this, love!” She was literally crying from laughter at my stupid comments. And luckily she saved me by yelling out to the speed walker. Something to the effect of, “It’s okay, he’s a little retarded, but he’s got a nice penis!” Forgoing the caulk reference completely. The lady’s look turned from one of disdain to a crooked smirk very quickly. But then I got a good one in. “Hey Cam, I see a crack, do you want me to fill it in with my big white caulk?” Okay, when I say a good one, I mean a less retarded one. I know, we’re not supposed to use that word. But I don’t think mentally handicapped people meant, abolish the word completely. They themselves just don’t want to be called retarded. But me? I’ll take a little degradation. It’s fun for sex! And sex we did!

Cam’s skirt, per the way she liked it, would be pulled up high enough to where if you looked closely enough you could see her vagina. I know! Huh, funny. Cam and I are having a back and forth right now. When I type sometimes I speak it out loud. She loves that I’m writing this, but she’s correcting my sexual vernacular as I go. She wants me to call it a see-you-next-tuesday. No, she says. Arg! A cunt! It’s a cunt. Some people have vagina’s. Hers growls! Cam just growled at me. Lol. Anyway! The way she likes to wear her clothes is if someone’s going to notice, then let them. It’s such an interesting thing to witness though. Most people actually don’t. And the ones who do pretend they don’t. She’s not trying to cause anyone alarm or discomfort, and like I said, her attire actually blends in, but she is who she is and she enjoys pushing boundaries in herself. That’s what I love about her. Plus it doesn’t hurt that she’s stunning to look at for me. A very unassuming girl. And don’t get me wrong, it’s not as though she flaunts her vagi…cunt, but if that skirt flops just the right way as a set of eyes just happens upon a glance down there, you’re gonna pussy. She’s now telling me to call it her Baby-Boo. Oh, sorry. My Baby-Boo. Baby-Boo Cunt Muffin Sandwich. I don’t really know what that means but it all checks out to me! Now she’s trying to get in here to type. H afgd sh 78 39n87gdfs

Dear reedr SDg gbhbbkjcvkjbbbd

Good lord. She wants me to tell you what her cunt muffin looks like. Okay, I’m just gonna involve you on all the back and forth that’s going on here. Yes, I will tell them it’s young. Cam is twenty-three years old. We met a year ago. She moved in six months later. She does the dishes naked. She goes to the bathroom with the door open. She pees in the shower. She licks me everywhere. She calls her tits bumps because she says she doesn’t have any. They’re not boobs, they’re bumps. I personally love them. She’s now blushing. Wow, that’s a new one. And, yes, dear, her vagina is that of a seventeen year old hairless Mexican Chihuahua. I think those are two breeds mixed into one. She’s just being silly now. It looks like one of those pumped pussy’s. We watch a lot of porn together. Pumped pussy is actually quite hot. Hers looks like a hotdog bun. She’s telling me to tell you this. I personally think it’s more the length of a hotdog bun, and looks like a shaven pumped pussy. Cunt-Muffin, sorry. Anyway, It’s long and bald and quite puffy. And it jiggles when you smack it. But I’m not kidding, it’s really long. Like all the way from normal clit positioning to her asshole. She’s giggling now. Which brings me back to my point. If Cam bends over in public, game over. There it is. She’s telling me to call it her pussy.

Wait, so your vagina is your cunt and your asshole is your pussy?
Correct.
So what’s your mouth then?
You know what my mouth is!
Oh good lord. Okay, we won’t get into that. She wants me to tell you.
Tell them how you pee-pee in me.
Dear Reader, actually, you know what, this brings me right back to the story.
Yay, she says.
Okay, so.

We’re on the ladder. No, she’s on the ladder. She’s got me flustered now. Cam is on the ladder and she says she’s got to pee. Now I never know what to expect from this girl, but I know, it’s typically never what I thought. Because when I expect a torrent of piss to come flooding down from above, no. Instead what she does is pee into her empty coffee mug on the window ledge and hand it to me. Naturally I say, what now? Whatever you like, dear. What do I like, I wonder. I’m sure she’s wanting me to drink it. And honestly, it didn’t bother me all that much. But what I really wanted to do was shock her. Show her that all is not lost and I am learning to misbehave. So I dipped my cock head in and filled it to the brim. Took a sip and climbed it back to her. Okay, that was hot, she told me. But Cam being Cam, she finished it in several gulps, put the mug down and continued scraping. “You just drank piss,” I told her! To which she responded, It’s hot up here, and kept scraping. That was our first experience drinking from each other, it came out of nowhere, and it got me like nothing ever has before. I was instantly hooked. It was the hottest thing I’d ever seen a woman do. It spoke to me sexually in a way nothing ever had before. It was almost addictive to the point of definitely wanting to explore it more rather than less. And we explored. We are exploring now as I type this. Now it seems all we do is drink each other's piss. Which I gotta tell you, it’s the last thing I thought I’d ever do, (to drink and be drunk from) but the thing I’m enjoying the most. It’s intoxicating in a way I cannot quite sum up in words. Cam says, try it! You’ll like it or you won’t. Cam says make sure you drink lots of water. I agree. Drink lots of water if you’re going to piss in your girlfriend’s mouth, and vice-versa. But we drink so much pee that it’s hardly even sexual anymore. Cam says, “turns me on!” I agree, it turns me on too. But it’s more utilitarian at this point. We spend a ton of time together. That’s not to say we don’t spend time apart, but we’ve learned to love and more so, accept each other as is, so it’s fun. We can just be who we are with each other. And who we are has turned out to be a pee drinking couple, among other things. And we drink a lot of pee. We literally just drink from each other all the time. I don’t use the toilet anymore. And neither does she. We either pee in each other, on each other, in glasses or on ourselves. To which Cam just made slurping noises with her tongue out. Oh Good Lord. Okay I’m getting turned on now.

We share a lot. We’re both artists, we enjoy similar things such as peeing in the shower. I’m joking, not joking. But I think my point is that we enjoy being apart just as much as we enjoy being together. Because we enjoy what we do separately too. So when we come together, it’s from full and enjoyable lives that we love. But pee, right. It’s utilitarian at this point, but no less hot. We just pee anywhere all the time. Sometimes even without provocation or foresite. We’ll just be walking along the road and there’s piss running down Cam’s leg. Or I will pee my shorts while sitting across from her drinking our morning coffee in the garden. But most often we’re drinking it. I’ve drank so much of this girl’s pee I hardly drink anything more. And even when I’m drinking other things, Cam pees in them for me, and I in hers. But I think our favorite is directly in our mouths. And there’s no asking anymore. I got over that months ago. I just pee. No asking, no wishy-washy, just simply pee.

Despite popular belief, when you drink water, pee tastes like water. We’re both healthy, active, relatively fit people. So nothing weird there, like no weird taste or disease or anything like that. It’s just pee! And I like pee. Cam likes it too. Even once, okay now bare with me. We pee’d each other’s clothes. As in, soaked them through. Now even though you might think this is getting weird, or, weird sailed long ago, it’s our thing and we enjoy it. But clothes soaked through, they then hung out to dry until we were ready to wear them out. I think you know where I’m going with this. Yes we wore pissed dry clothes in public. Cam just chuckled to herself. Yes, honey, I know. Cam likes the smell, but I don’t really think it does. Or if it does I guess I like it too. It’s just kind of nice in this crazy world to have a secret in plain site like that. We have friends, jobs, dreams, aspirations, family, all of it. But at the end of the day we enjoy the piss. Cam calls it piss more than me. I say pee. Dick wine. Bladder nectar. She’s giving me these names now. Urethra juice. She’s asking me to tell you what I use her mouth as. I’d argue but…it’s my urinal. Her mouth is my urinal. My colastami sack. My toilet bowl. Okay I’m done now.

So Cam is telling me to tell you other things but I think I’ll save that for another story. I have to admit, this was fun, and cathartic. She’s my catheter, she says. Okay, we’re gonna go now. Cam says please try drinking pee and that it’s good for you to try new things. She’s waving, bye. Okay, until next time. Pee you later! Bye!!! Bye!

I'm looking for an old video. Circa 2011 or 2012. It was a redhead girl with a mounted dildo. The video was from the side. She was masturbating to the beat of Sail by Awolnation. It's been quite some time since I've seen it here.