I confess... that when I was OLD me and a girl called Jodie used to "play doctor" , it was in a little Wendyhouse at the bottom of her garden , we used to get sandwiches and her parents would leave us totally alone till it was dark , she had an older brother called Paul. Jodie had stolen on of his girlie mags , and we used to look at them and play with each others bit. This girl gave me my first hard on , wanked me and also sucked my cock , we didn't really understand sex , so we used to lay on top of each other and grind , this gave me orgasms to. I remember one time she had an orgasm from me licking her cunny. Good good times , we do talk about it now , we are both married and have kids but we have never had any adult clinches!

My wife stood before me with some items in front of her. Without a word, she emptied a large jar of mayonnaise and proceeded to fill the empty jar with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2" diameter, then asked me if the jar was full. I agreed that it was.

She then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. My wife then asked me if the jar was now full. I agreed that, yes, it was.

She then poured a bag of sand into the jar with the result that the sand filled up the remaining spaces between the rocks and pebbles.

"Now," said my wife, "I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your wife who loves you, your health, your children - anything that is so important to you that if it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. Your X-box, football, the pub, porn. If you put the sand or the pebbles first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for the things that are truly most important."

I was dumbfounded.
Where was she going to get more mayonnaise from for my sandwich?

Looking for a video.

Has anyone seen a video of a chick showing her pussy on webcam. And then she calls a guy from the background who was at a table and was eating a sandwich to suck his dick so she can show the other person watching.

In the end she shows the cum in her hand to the webcam.

Please let me know if it's linked elsewhere.

Asian women share tips on how to catch a man and keep him happy.

For generations Asian women learned how to treat a man by following rules laid down by Thai philosopher Sunthron Phu in his book Maxims for Teaching Women. Now they�ve taken his words of wisdom that have been passsed down fro more than 2,000 years and updated them to deal with men in 2012.

Here are the winning recommendations for Western women who want to trade be successful in love and marriage:

1) YOUR MAN IS KING - Remember that your man/husband comes first � before you, your parents, your outside interests or even your children
2) RISE EARLY. Get up in the morning before your man does. Make sure you prepare a healthy breakfast so he gets a good start on the day. Even if you have to leave before him, make sure he has a nice breakfast waiting for him when he comes into the kitchen in the morning.
3) NEVER NAG. Never, ever. If he wants to stop off after work and have a few drinks with his buddies, that�s his business. If he forgot to take out the garbage � do it yourself.
4) BE AT HOME. Make sure you�re always at home when he gets in from a hard day at the office. Even if you are working, make sure you get home to your man/husband as soon as possible.
5) SMILE. Always greet your man with a smile on your face and, if you can, a cold drink in your hand.
6) DINNER READY. If you are home, or get home first, always have a delicious dinner ready to be served. And if he comes home feeling tense, give him a massage to ease his aches and pains.
7) LET HIM HANG WITH FRIENDS. If your man wants to have his buddies over for a night of poker, or football, or video games, don�t get mad. Encourage it and make sure you�ve got lots of sandwiches and cold beer on hand to serve them.
8) ASK FIRST. Always ask him first before you go spending his hard-earned money, or even your hard-earned money, to buy something for yourself.
9) REMOTE CONTROL. Let him choose the programs you watch onteleveision. The television is man�s domain� he should be in charge. And only Netflix/rent HIS favorite movies or TV shows.
10) OBEY. Don�t do things your husband doesn�t approve of. And don�t complain about it. If he doesn�t want you wasting your time watching soap operas or having coffee with a neighbor, obey him. You�ll both be happier for it.
11) WILD IN BED. Be a temptress in bed. If he likes you in sexy lingerie, wear it. Be shy and demure when you�re out in public, but once the lights are out, let him know he�s the only man in the world who can please you.
2) KNOW SPORTS. Bone up on sports so you�ll have something to talk about. But always let him start the conversation.

13) KEEP FIT. Keep yourself in shape and always dress nicely so you�ll be a wife any husband would be proud to have.
14) CLEANING. Keep your home spic and span at all times. It should look like you�re expecting company. And the laundry should always be done. Your man should never have to look for clean socks or underwear and his shirts should all be ironed � by you.

Follow ALL these steps and you will be happy for the rest of your life!

Anybody want a sandwich?

My gf and I both enjoying discussing dirty incestuous stuff. She had a fantasy of daddy daughter but kept it mostly to herself. However, over a few years time, she and I opened up to each other more about such fantasies. It gets us real horny, talking about how we should get her fucked by her daddy. We talk about various such make belief stuff. She also loves the idea of being sandwiched by me and her daddy. She loves being roughed up and dominated, so we really get to talk about a fuck tonne of nasty incestuous stuff.

What about you guys?

P.S. The pic is unrelated but goes well with what I was talking about.

I gotta confess this:

I jerk off and shoot cum on my food. If I know I'm going to be alone long enough when I'm going to eat I do it as often as I can.

It's really easy when I'm at work during lunch, I have an office to myself for at least a half hour. I can watch a porn vid and shoot cum all over my meal. Sandwich, tacos, pretty much anything. Jerked off on big cookies a couple of times. Doesn't matter if it gets mixed in/covered or not.

No, I haven't tried to get anyone else to pump a load out for me. I don't know anyone that well and don't want to get to know any guys like that. It's my cum, out one end back in the other.

And no, I don't have the desire to suck or swallow for other guys. My current woman and I get along just fine. I do lick her after I've shot in her but it's my cum so I have no problem with it. She's caught loads in her mouth and shared them with me, she doesn't have a problem because it's my cum. Haven't actually told her I shoot it on food but I have joked about "adding to the mayo" on a sandwich. She laughed but the idea didn't seem to bother her.

As long as it's mine I have no problem licking or eating it.

So one day while i was heading back home from work, my gf and my friend were at my place. he had recently gotten out of jail. when i checked the recent documents, i seen that a porn was on 10 minutes before i got home. i assume she sucked him off quick. i really need help finding the name of a porno. im gonna show it to her than force her to fuck me and 2 friends as punishment. The things I'm sure of are:

1 girl 2 guys
she got held up in the air and sandwiched dp'd between them
they stuck a metal butt plug in her while she was bent over on a stool
Movie title was 4 or 5 words

Things I'm pretty sure of:

fishnet stockings and or leather
movie title started with a P
Probably came out in 2010

My wife sandwiching his cock with her fat titties. 
Do you want to see her fucked to shrieking orgasm?

Getting death threats from inbred white supremacists on this board is almost as funny as getting death threats from Muzzies for drawing pictures of Muhammad fucking a dude while eating a bacon sandwich.

i confess that i used a cucumber to masterbate and didn't have time to wash it before my mum made sandwiches for the family :S