So....here's my confession.
I am a virgin. Not because I am ugly mind you. Just because I was taught to give my virginity after marriage. I was a good girl mostly my whole life. I studied, I didn't party, didn't hang out with a lot of guys and was a model little girl.
But then I changed. I became curious. I talked to a guy online and he was telling me all those vile things he would do to me. I was scared. Terrified even. But as the saying goes, curiosity kills the cat. In this case, it pummeled me into a deep dark black hole. I became curious. I searched for those vile things he told me on the net. Since then, I became addicted. I learned masturbation. I watched porn everyday and got myself off it. Eventually it was not enough. I wanted contact. But circumstances didn't allow me to search for that in real life. So I turned to my other refuge, online. I was scared and excited. I was creeped out by horny old men who were so perverted yet so excited. I was horrified by what was happening to me. Why was I so excited by people degrading me? Why was I even thinking of pretending to be a little girl? Why was I disgusted and yet fascinated about being a human toilet? My depravity has become endless. I am seeing a therapist now and she didn't show it but I could tell she is disgusted by me. I am sorry. I just have to get it out of my chest. I am such a failure. I shouldn't even be on here but I can't help it.
Replies 11
You're in the right place IMO. You won't get judged for your depravity we're all filthy here. You will get appreciated, though.
Let’s see what you look like so we can tell you how weee going to destroy that pussy.
Waiting for marriage doesn't happen to often anymore.
You are not a failure you are in the phase that you are discovering your body and what you like . My advise is explore your sexualty, make the most of it now because you are young and your discoveries with your body are better now then when you are older . But otherwise dont be silly to get in a position that you can get hurt or get a disease so explore it but it head . You only live once so it is ok to explore it . I can talk by myself and other friends of mine, we all got sexual experiences that we arent so proud but at least we did it and we are better persons bc of that and better to our partner . So good luck if you want i am here for you
Hey, try to be more understanding about yourself. I have strange interests as well, took years to sort of get them to be a normal part of my life but it eventually happened. I am going to paraphrase a bit here and share something that helped me. When Timothy Leary was still a rather normal practicing doctor, he proposed a theory about human sexuality that basically stated that there is a window in our childhoods where we imprint what is going to get us off for the rest of our lives. If that window opens when you are at a football game, congratulations you will probably be attracted to cheerleaders for the rest of your life etc. My window opened with the death of a female in a movie on TV so now I lurk in the various parts of the net that cater to that. What you like is probably the result of some such window and is not in any way some sort of part of you that is wrong or dark etc. Hope this helps some,
I was the same way. I got curious in alternate lifestyle sexualities and that led me to meet a lot of people and try all sorts of kinky shit. I can't tell you what the answer is, but maybe try to resist going further into the darkness. You eventually become jaded and nothing is as exciting anymore. Having said that, fucked up little bitches like you are delicious and I would totally take advantage of you if we ever met.
Join FetLife.com. You will soon discover you are perfectly normal and your therapist is simply clueless. We kinky people far out number the so-called normal prudes. The mind has an endless capacity for fantasy. When you first start out guilt, can keep you from fully embracing and enjoying your cravings. The solution is not to see a therapist who is inexperienced with kink. It's to learn from others who are further along the kink path than you. Society is not your judge. They are lemmings and hypocrites. There are men out there who will embrace your depravity and love you all the more for it while at the same time helping you stay safe.
